I never posted in this part of the forum but Trekbbs for years. I guess I am doing this because know one really knows who I am. Like on Facebook they would know exactly who I am. Using the name I have has a lot of meaning for me, not just because I like that show. I mean severe depression. I will probably regret posting this later. Maybe I won't and won't even post. This is not just the cause of one event. Its possibly hereditary. My grandmother was bipolar. In the past I tried to get help and I never got a real diagnosis. Usually from the professionals and family I get "You need to try harder." In life, in everything. In the last few years I have done that. Become very motivated. I made so progress, maybe a lot. But under the surface there has always been the sense of having no idea what I was trying to achieve. Its hard to be motivated, to even want to get out of bed when you have no desire. Problems? I have trust issues, with anyone. self doubt, Its impossible for me to deal with anything new without worrying endless. SO I don't do try knew things much.