How do you ask for coffee?

[PKTrekGirl]

Starbucks has been very successful in New York City for one primary reason. It's convenient. Now, I for one hate Starbucks coffee. It tastes like ass. Additionally, it is wayyyyyy overpriced. What it does offer however is a warm place to wait at when you're meeting up with people. In a place that is so dependent on mass transit, having a place to simply sit down and wait for others is important. Now are there other great coffee places around? There certainly is, but very few of these places have the means to seat large amounts of people or provide things like free wifi.

Now see, this is an argument for Starbucks that I can get on-board with. I will agree that most of their locations in large American cities are fairly comfortable and provide a place where you don't have a waitress wanting to kick you out so that she can turn the table. I lived in Atlanta for 15 years, and although we drive a lot more than you, the argument still holds - you can sit there for quite a while, laptop and all, and no one will boot you out if you don't spend more money. *nods*

But yeah...the tradeoff for that is that you have to buy a $5 cup of coffee that tastes like ass.

Here in Anchorage, it's a much smaller and more casual city with lots of places you can sit for hours without anyone booting you out. But because it is so damned cold here, we take our coffee a lot more seriously. Which is why the other coffee shops (mainly Kaladi Brothers, but a couple of others too) have held their ground very well against Starbucks.

 

[captcalhoun]

coffee? fuck that swill, i drink TEA! like a REAL captain does.

white, one sugar. and none of this putting the milk and sugar in after bollocks.

mug.
sugar.
milk.
bag.
hot water.
dunk bag, chuck.
stir.

TEA!

 

[ares93]

Usually I just say: Give me a cup of coffee. If that doesnt work I say: Sudo give me a cup of coffee.

In all seriousness i rarely drink coffee. I'm a tea guy. *Avoids the rotten tomatoes thrown his way.*

As fo my tea, I say: Tea, earl grey, hot. (I'm not kidding. I really do.)

 

[Zulu Romeo]

Although I like using the teabag for the sake of time and convenience, the anarchist within me prefers herbal tea. You should all know why this is by now.

coffee? fuck that swill, i drink TEA! like a REAL captain does.

white, one sugar. and none of this putting the milk and sugar in after bollocks.

mug.
sugar.
milk.
bag.
hot water.
dunk bag, chuck.
stir.

TEA!

What is this milk and sugar that you speak of?

 

[Tora Ziyal]

How I ask for coffee: "Do you have herbal tea?"

<walk up to counter>
"I would like a cup of coffee, please, medium."
<gives money, receives change>
"Thank you."
<receives coffee>
"Thank you very much. Have a nice day."

Why are you ordering coffee from a clairvoyant?

 

[JoeZhang]

"medium filter, no milk, to go, please"

 

[Holdfast]

I used to order lattes but after I switched to being self-employed (and thereby had more random lacunae in the middle of the day), I realised I was spending so much time sitting around reading the paper or browsing the net in cafes that the calorific intake of all those coffees was adding up. As I prefer desserts to lattes, I opted to switch my standard drink to a simple white americano instead, and weaned myself off adding sugar unless I felt like treating myself. So yeah, I typically say "white americano please".

Weirdly enough, at home I only rarely have a coffee, preferring a cup of Darjeeling. But I almost always have coffee if I'm out and about. Funny, that.

 

[Timby]

In any other Starbucks: "Triple venti mocha, no whip"

God Almighty, as much as I hate Starbucks for roasting its beans to being beyond burnt, I hate them even more for this size and nomenclature bullshit. When I go to one of my local coffee roasters (especially Ancora or Michelangelo's, in downtown Madison -- ), I walk up to the counter and ask for a regular coffee -- I fill it myself from one of their dispensers with my preferred blend. Or "a small vanilla cappuccino." None of that "quad grande no-whip mocha macchiato" lingo shit. What the hell is wrong with saying, "Can you give me a medium cappuccino with a triple shot of vanilla?"

Just give me a goddamned cup of coffee. It's fucking coffee, don't make it out to be some sort of high art.

 

[ed629]

In drive thru.. "Large coffee, two cream 2 sugar please."

At Starbucks in my head 'Where the fuck is just a regular fucking coffee' looking at menu. To the barrista "Uhh.. venti, grande... large coffee?"

Fucking hate Starbucks. Why the fuck would I want to pay $3.50 for a cup of coffee?

My favorite place to get coffee at is Race Track. Go in grab a cup, then fill it adding the sugar and milk I want. Usually I do Caramel Cappuccino 2/5, Colombian 2/5, then 1/5 milk and a few natural sugars. For $1.29 and it's just as good as Starbucks.

 

[ed629]

In any other Starbucks: "Triple venti mocha, no whip"

God Almighty, as much as I hate Starbucks for roasting its beans to being beyond burnt, I hate them even more for this size and nomenclature bullshit. When I go to one of my local coffee roasters (especially Ancora or Michelangelo's, in downtown Madison -- ), I walk up to the counter and ask for a regular coffee -- I fill it myself from one of their dispensers with my preferred blend. Or "a small vanilla cappuccino." None of that "quad grande no-whip mocha macchiato" lingo shit. What the hell is wrong with saying, "Can you give me a medium cappuccino with a triple shot of vanilla?"

Just give me a goddamned cup of coffee. It's fucking coffee, don't make it out to be some sort of high art.

This!

 

[Gil T.Azell]

When I go to the Co-Op its grab a cup and dispense it out of the very large thermos.
when I got Timmy's
"I'd Like a Large Double Double."

 

[Shaytan]

Starbuck doesn't sell coffee, it sells dessert. You can't call that coffee.

When I ask for a coffee, I usually have to wait that the waiter pays attention to my insignificant presence. It's fine because if I stop somewhere to have a coffee, that means that I have time for that.
"Un crème s'il vous plait." Because I like some crème in my coffee and I like being polite.

 

[Kirby]

God Almighty, as much as I hate Starbucks for roasting its beans to being beyond burnt, I hate them even more for this size and nomenclature bullshit.

I agree with what you're saying, but Starbucks is so engrained in the culture that it's hard to avoid. Even harder to find an independant coffee shop in my area.
Starbucks does have this 'blonde roast' which is much less charred than it's regular roast, and it's not bad.

For just coffee, I actually like Burger King coffee, and when in Starbucks, I order a venti Americano.

 

[ares93]

All this about Starbuck reminded me about this pic.

Cookie to the one that realizes the significance.

Spoiler: Spoiler

Starbuck(BSG78) and Starbuck(BSG2004) at Starbucks.

 

[Maestro]

When I go to one of my local coffee roasters (especially Ancora or Michelangelo's, in downtown Madison -- ),

When the blue-eyed brunette with the really ginormous breasts at Michelangelo's asks me, "What'll ya have, hun?" I have all I can do to keep from drooling and saying, "Coffee... and you."

 

[ThankQ]

When I go to one of my local coffee roasters (especially Ancora or Michelangelo's, in downtown Madison -- ),

When the blue-eyed brunette with the really ginormous breasts at Michelangelo's asks me, "What'll ya have, hun?" I have all I can do to keep from drooling and saying, "Coffee... and you."

If you haven't read it, it sounds like you might enjoy this book:

Coffee, Tea or Me?



Why didn't you say it? You may have gotten a good response There was a super hot girl who worked at a convenience store near my house. The store has two registers on opposite sides of the check-out counter. I went up to one with my goods and she walked to the other and said, "Can you bring that over here?" I walked around and said, "Oh, is this where you want it?" I got the smile and blush I was hoping for

 

[Bisz]

I mostly get coffee from the Tim Horton's Express in our South Cafeteria, in which case I make it myself; about a quarter hot chocolate, one shot of milk and the rest coffee.

If I'm at any other Tim's its usually "Medium regular please".

If its at Starbucks and its the cold season its usually "Could I get a Grande Cafe Mocha please", and if its the hot season its usually "Could I get a Grande Mocha Frappuccino please".

 

[Holdfast]

... as much as I hate Starbucks for roasting its beans to being beyond burnt, I hate them even more for this size and nomenclature bullshit.

Does anyone really remember their made-up names though? I only go in occasionally, as they're pretty much my coffee shop of 3rd or 4th resort, but I know I can never remember what they call things. I - like most of the people in the queue with me it seems - just ask for what we want in normal coffee language, before the assistant translates that into Starbucks-speak. A procedure followed by the customer nodding, often with a comment like "yeah, that's the one". Bizarrely, this seems to apply even to those ordering very specific drinks that I'm not even sure other coffee shops would make...

 

[John Clark]

coffee? fuck that swill, i drink TEA! like a REAL captain does.

white, one sugar. and none of this putting the milk and sugar in after bollocks.

mug.
sugar.
milk.
bag.
hot water.
dunk bag, chuck.
stir.

TEA!

Pretty much. Last time I was in the States, a friend who lives over there made sure to keep a stock of tea for me

 

[Alidar Jarok]

what the hell is a venti?

*googles*

hmm . . . if it's a large, why not just say large?

For what it's worth, a venti is 20 oz (venti is Italian for 20). Maybe they want to make you think they give you a lot of coffee, since the small is a tall, the medium is a grande.

I think it depends. If it's a friend who is making coffee, I'll say "cup of coffee" (usually a little cream, rarely sugar). If I'm ordering it from a coffee place, I'll replace "cup" with the size. No point wasting words if there's a line (although I'll usually say Caffelatte rather than latte because latte means milk).