Hercules/Xena (Spoilers)

[kirk55555]

Regrets...I've had a Few (Hercules) - This wasn't very good. Hercules runs into an old friend whose wife just died giving birth. While there, Hercules see's the Greek's version of the grim reaper (a woman who doesn't kill but just leads the dead to the afterlife) coming for his friend. He manages to get his friend an extra day of life to finish things up, while having flashbacks to how he feels responsible for the death of his friend's brother when they were young. This part is told in horrible flashbacks to Hercules youth, which were not interesting at all, and just kind of annoying. The main story wasn't that interesting, either. Maybe if they had eliminated the flashbacks and focused on the main story it could have been fleshed out more, but as it is this was a pretty mediocre episode.

 

[kirk55555]

Web of Desire (Hercules) - While traveling home, Hercules, Iolaus and the crew of the ship they're on get forced by a storm to take shelter on an island. Once they get there, a monster starts taking out the crew one by one, until only Hercules, Iolaus, and a pirate they met on the island named Nebula (played by Gina Torres) are left. It turns out to be a half woman/half spider named Arachne, a woman cursed by the gods for killing her own daughter out of jealousy. She's been using the bodies of sailors to give birth to babies Alien style (they even have one of the babies go after Nebula and Iolaus acting like a face hugger from the Alien franchise). Hercules manages to use her hatred of her own appearance against her, and she burns in flames.

This was definitely a good episode. The effects were downright gruesome, in a good way. Seriously, two of the deaths were easily the most intense in the whole Xena/Hercules franchise so far. A guy is found with half of his face burned off with acid, and later a guy's head bursts open when the face hugger baby crawls out of him through his mouth. I mean, its still stuff that obviously got past TV censors, but it was done well and was intense. The effects with Arachne (minus some standard cheesy 90s CG shots) were also very good. Nebula was a decent character, I bet she shows up again. Overall, this was a fun monster story that definitely took some elements from Alien, both in the face hugger babies and in how Arachne stalked her prey.

 

[Kelthaz]

Hercules encounters a giant spider web and exclaims "That's one big website."

This show had cheese down to an art form.

 

[kirk55555]

Yeah, I loved that line

 

[kirk55555]

Stranger in a Strange World (Hercules) - This was a very entertaining episode. Iolaus ends up in an alternate world, similar but different from the normal world. Its basically a Hercules version of Mirror, Mirror, complete with evil Hercules having a Goatee. It feels like everyone makes an appearance. We see normal Hercules, Iolaus, Aphrodite and Ares, along with alternate Earth Hercules, Iolaus, Aphrodite, Ares, Xena, Gabrielle and Joxer. Everyone put in a good performance (although Gabrielle only gets one line). The alternate Ares as the God of Love was hilarious, and heroic rebel alt-Joxer was also cool. Alt-Xena was goofy, but not in an annoying way. There were a bunch of references and gags in this episode, and overall I just enjoyed it a lot.

The only problem was the idea that people that die in one world have their counterpart in the other die. If that was true, with how bad the alt-Earth was you'd think there would be a bunch of mysterious deaths. also, since some people are criminals in one world but good in another, you'd think there would be constant cases of good people dropping dead randomly when their evil counterpart dies. Still, I figure its something best not thought about, and besides this little plot hole I enjoyed the story.

 

[kirk55555]

Two Men and a Baby (Hercules) - Hercules runs into his old love interest nemesis, who is fleeing with a baby. She says the baby is hers and hercules and leaves the baby (Evander) in his care as she leaves to get rid of the pursuers. This leaves Iolaus and hercules with the baby, and hijinks ensue. We eventually learn the baby is actually the son of Nemesis and ares, and Ares wants it. In the end, hercules saves the day and keeps the baby away from ares. This wasn't a great episode. The baby hijinks were annoying, and it was obvious that the baby wasn't Herc's. OVerall, this wasn't terrible, but it wasn't very good.

 

[kirk55555]

I've watched a bunch of episodes, but it was a pretty bad run so I don't have as much to say about them. Actually, I had watched Prodigal Sister and ...And fancy Free earlier, but I was distracted and forgot to post about them when I posted about Two Men and A Baby. I've actually only watched three episodes since the last post, but to catch up I'll go through them all quickly.

Prodigal Sister (Hercules) - Evil Amazon's attack a village, steal girls and raise them like their own. Years later, a guy who survived the attack finds his sister that was stolen by Amazons. They meet, fight, but make up at the end. This was another mediocre Amazon episode, and I don't have much more to say about it.

...And Fancy Free (Hercules) - This was slightly (very slightly) less annoying than Xena's A Tale of Two Muses, mostly because Xena's adaptation of Footloose was more obnoxious than this weird dancing Hercules episode. Basically, if you ever thought "Gee, I like Hercules, but I'd really prefer to see him ballroom dance instead of save the day", this is the episode for you. Anyone else, I'd reccomend you avoid this like the plague.

If I Had a Hammer (Hercules) - Atalanta (i.e. the woman with the skimpiest outfit in the entire Hercules/Xena franchise) returns, and its very "meh". She builds a statue of Herc, it comes to life and causes problems. It sacrafices itself to save the day.

Hercules on Trial (Hercules) - A Hercules impersonator is killed, and hercules gets put on trial for...reasons. Its a fairly annoying episode, and not worth spending too much time talking about.

Medea Culpa (Hercules) - Mostly focuses on young hercules, Iolaus and Jason, while also retconning Jason to be their age instead of their elder (which makes his marriage to Hercules mother in Hercules's present a lot weirder). I really on't like watching Young Hercules stuff, and this wasn't an exception. It was annoying when it wasn't boring, and didn't tell us anything important.

 

[kirk55555]

Men in Pink (Hercules) - Salmoneus and Autolycus get framed for a crime, and hide by dressing as women and joining a dance troupe. Even as someone who likes both characters and a lot of the Hercules/Xena comedy episodes, I thought this was really bad. It really didn't have any funny moments, it was just an annoying waste of time.

 

[kirk55555]

Ok, well, I found out something crappy today. I got Hercules Season 4 (which I'm currently watching) way back in November, and I didn't do more than a quick look at the discs before watching. Well, it turns out there is a bad disc in there (specifically disc 6), so I won't be talking about Porkules, One Fowl Day or My Fair Cupcake. Luckily they seem like episodes that I won't miss, and since I ordered the season too long ago to return it the only alternative would be to buy another copy of Season 4, which I don't plan to do right now. Maybe eventually, but I'm not planning to spend another $14+ on a replacement right now. So, while those episodes aren't actually the next ones up, they will obviously get skipped. I'm just posting to say I didn't just decide to skip them. While they don't sound great, I was going to watch them.

Right now I'm mostly just pissed I spent $11 on a defective set. From now on I'll at least be putting every disc I get into a player to check it, even if it looks good on the outside. Oh, well. For all the stuff I've ordered on Amazon, this is the first defective disc situation, so I'm doing pretty well.

 

[JD]

Do you do Netflix? They have all of the seasons of both Hercules and Xena streaming.

 

[kirk55555]

Nope, no Netflix or anything like that. Its just DVD's for me.

 

[kirk55555]

Them Bones, Them Bones (Xena) - Another episode with the boring Northern Amazons. It also has Alti, the absolute worst recurring villain on Xena (hopefully this appearance from beyond the grave is her last one). Basically, ghost Alti is trying to gain control of Xena's baby's soul. Xena and Gabrielle go to the northern Amazons to try and stop this, using all the stupid shamaness rituals that are as stupid and uninteresting as they were the other times. Of course they defeat Alti, and it ends up being a pretty useless episode. Alti could easily have stayed dead, they didn't exactly leave her fate open ended. The northern Amazons are still the most boring Amazons, and considering how bad the other tribe Xena runs into is, that's saying something. Overall, this was a real waste of 45 minutes.

 

[Kelthaz]

Ah, Them Bones, Them Bones. That was the episode where I stopped my Xena watchthrough a few years ago. I did catch a few 5th and 6th season episodes back when they originally aired, but that feels like a lifetime ago. I know little of the show yet to come.

 

[kirk55555]

Purity (Xena) - This was a boring follow up to The debt. Xena has to stop Lao Ma's writings from getting into the wrongs hands, in this case the hands of one of Lao Ma's twin daughters. She succeeds by using some of Lao Ma's stupid power, helping the good daughter while the evil one dies. This was very boring, and wasn't very memorable.

Back in the Bottle (Xena) - This was a follow up to the last episode. Xena saves Chin by defeating Ghengis Kahn (who is getting help from the spirits of Lao Ma's evil son and Daughter). He uses up the rest of her Odin-Force (which they didn't call it, just to be clear) to turn some bad guys to stone, and then says she doesn't feel the power anymore (which is pretty convenient). This was another boring, useless episode in Chin.

Little Problems (Xena) - Xena's soul is put into the body of a little girl. Not even apohrodite can save this from being a boring, pointless, forgettablke episode.

Seeds of Faith (Xena) - Well, it finally happened.

Spoiler: Xena

ELI IS DEAD!

The rest of this episode was atrocious, especially the BS explanation for Xena's pregnancy, which seemed like a giant f&^% you from the writers. Plus, seeing the idiot as an angel was irritating. I also get the feeling that they want to make sure you can't possibly remember when Callisto was awesome, they just want to have the audience remember her as a boring angel. But, just seeing Ares do what I'd wanted to see done for so long was amazing. Its still a horrible episode with some really stupid plot things happening, but I've never had a scene of someone getting impaled on a sword be so satisfying.

 

[kirk55555]

Lyre, Lyre Hearts on Fire (Xena) - This was really, really bad. Its not as bad as The Bitter Suite, but that's mostly because this episode is at least harmless, and not used as a reset button for lazy writers. The only interesting thing in this episode is meeting Joxer's brother Jace. He was pretty funny, and his interactions with Joxer were interesting. Besides that, this episode was basically horrible from beginning to end, especially the singing. It didn't even have an explanation. I thought that the lyre was making people sing, but apparently its just something weird that we're supposed to accept. At least The Bitter Suite explained why they were singing. Overall, I hated most of this episode, although comparted to stuff like the way of love or Hope arc's this is far from the worst of Xena, although its horrible in a unique way.

 

[kirk55555]

Armageddon Now Parts 1 & 2 (Hercules) - This was a pretty good two parter. Hope saves Callisto from the cave she was trapped in for what feels like the millionth time (this episode takes place, from a Xena perspective, in Season 3 of Xena, after Maternal Instinct but before the end of the season). She tells Callisto that she'll help her live differently, if Callisto will kill Hercules. So, Callisto teams up with ares to bring back Hercules's double from an alternate universe, the Sovereign, so that they can get the Hind's blood he carries. They gewt it, and leave him to roam about. Eventually, hercules catches his double and brings him back to Ares temple with Iolaus, but both Hercules and his double get trapped between dimensions by Callisto and Ares, after which Callisto uses Hind's blood to murder Strife.

She then goes back in time to kill Hercules's mother while she was pregnant. Ares gives Iolaus the ability to follow her (since he's angry about Callisto killing Strife, and freaked out that she's working for Hope). They go through time, fight, time changes when Callisto kills Herc's mother but Hercules, in between dimensions, gives Iolaus a message allowing him to save the day. Callisto gets thrown through a portal, and Hope disappears. I enjoyed this episode, especially after having only seen Callisto as a bland Angel for awhile, it was cool to see the real Callisto again. We also get to see Evil Xena, and how she'd be if Hercules hadn't turned her good, but that wasn't very interesting, which is why I didn't mention it earlier. Overall, this was an enjoyable story, a rarity when Hope is involved.

Yes, Virginia, There is a Hercules (Hercules) - This was another clip show with a great wrapping story. A bunch of series regulars play various members of the Hercules tv crew in modern times (Bruce Campbell is Robert Tapert, Ted Raimi is Alex Kurtzman, etc). Kevin Sorbo has gone missing, and they need to find a way to do the show without him. It was a very goofy episode, but still very awesome. A lot of goofy humor and great performances, especially by Campbell, Raimi, Kevin Smith (and the head writer), Robert trebor (as a studio executive), Mchael Hurst (as a wimpy writer) and Hudson Leick (as a producer). Gina Torres also turned in a funny performance as a casting director.

The ending was great, when we learned that Ares and Strife (still alive in modern times, even though he died in ancient times, as we saw in the last story) had set all this up to try to get the show cancelled. But, Kevin Sorbo shows up, and we learn that he is actually Hercules, who is immortal and using the identity of Kevin Sorbo while playing himself on TV He stops the meddling gods, and the show goes on. some great moments include Smith/Raimi/Hurst and another guy all standing at a row of urinals and humming/whistling the Hercules theme while...usng the urinals, and a big fight at the end as everyone loses it and goes into a huge slapstick fight. This was a very enjoyable set up, and they went all out with it.

 

[kirk55555]

War Wounds (Hercules) - A group of veterens returning from the trojan war, lead by Ajax, return to Corinth, to a less than warm welcome. The King of Corinth (Iphicles, Hercules's half brother) and the veterans butt heads, and even with Iolaus trying to help the King gets captured and gets taken to a prison where he was keeping veterans prisoner for no real reason. Hercules ends up finding them and saving his brother, while Ajax dies saving the King from a sand shark. Iphicles has a change of heart, and gives land on the border to the veterans. This was a decent episode, I don't have much else to say about it. It was nice seeing Kevin Smith as Iphicles again.

 

[spockfan101]

I love xena I got xena seasons one and two. still on one .
its an awesome show.

 

[kirk55555]

Twilight (Hercules) - This was a very average episode. The stuff with Hercules and his dying mother was ok, and it was nice to see Zeus appear again. But, the flashbacks to young Hercules were as annoying and pointless as ever. There isn't much else to say about the episode.

 

[JD]

So were all of these flashbacks to a young Hercules connected to the Young Hercules series?