Have you ever Been Cheated On By A Boyfreind or Girlfreind
- Thread starter Angela 0077
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Amaris
Guest
^ Coming from you, smiles are always welcome. 
Angela 0077
Captain
That statement is very true
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I'm sure I've told the story many, many times, but there are probably two people who haven't heard it...
Met my ex-husband in 1990, married him in 1992. (It wasn't legally recognized yet, but we were married in a United Church ceremony.) Flash forward five years, he was out one night at the bridge club (we both played, though rarely together - that's the easiest way to wreck a relationship), and I was looking around the house for a puzzle magazine. Instead, I found a letter he'd been working on to another guy, telling him that he'd been lying, that he was involved with someone, but that he was getting bored.
When he got home that night, I confronted him with the letter, and he claimed it was a piece of fiction he was working on. I wanted to believe that - and he did occasionally dabble in writing fiction - so I let it go. A few weeks later, he came to me and told me that he'd lied that night, and that he was cheating on me. He moved out within days, and moved in with the other guy.
A few years after that, a local church discovered a loophole in Canadian law - the government had to recognize any marriage performed by means of the banns (a very old church rite), which did not say anything about the gender of the participants. So they, along with a lesbian couple, got married in a ceremony at this church.
Because it had to be legally recognized, and there was nothing in Canadian law about same-sex marriage at the time, naturally it was quite controversial. Fundamentalist Christian groups were filing challenges, and it eventually ended up in the Supreme Court. The whole thing was on the news every night for the better part of a month (the banns have to be read on three consecutive Sundays, so the whole thing was kind of stretched out), and then the actual ceremony itself was televised.
So yeah - my ex-husband was one of the first people to be legally married to a same-sex partner in Canada, and he did it with the guy he'd been cheating on me with, and on national television.
The kicker was that in order to be eligible to have the banns read, you can't have been married before. I actually spoke to the minister who was going to be performing their ceremony, and pointed out that my ex had in fact been married before, in another church. He said, "I don't care - I'm doing this for political reasons." Nice.
Now you see why I'm sitting alone at home on Pride weekend. Inevitably, whenever I go out for Pride, guess who's the first person whom I know and bump into?
Met my ex-husband in 1990, married him in 1992. (It wasn't legally recognized yet, but we were married in a United Church ceremony.) Flash forward five years, he was out one night at the bridge club (we both played, though rarely together - that's the easiest way to wreck a relationship), and I was looking around the house for a puzzle magazine. Instead, I found a letter he'd been working on to another guy, telling him that he'd been lying, that he was involved with someone, but that he was getting bored.
When he got home that night, I confronted him with the letter, and he claimed it was a piece of fiction he was working on. I wanted to believe that - and he did occasionally dabble in writing fiction - so I let it go. A few weeks later, he came to me and told me that he'd lied that night, and that he was cheating on me. He moved out within days, and moved in with the other guy.
A few years after that, a local church discovered a loophole in Canadian law - the government had to recognize any marriage performed by means of the banns (a very old church rite), which did not say anything about the gender of the participants. So they, along with a lesbian couple, got married in a ceremony at this church.
Because it had to be legally recognized, and there was nothing in Canadian law about same-sex marriage at the time, naturally it was quite controversial. Fundamentalist Christian groups were filing challenges, and it eventually ended up in the Supreme Court. The whole thing was on the news every night for the better part of a month (the banns have to be read on three consecutive Sundays, so the whole thing was kind of stretched out), and then the actual ceremony itself was televised.
So yeah - my ex-husband was one of the first people to be legally married to a same-sex partner in Canada, and he did it with the guy he'd been cheating on me with, and on national television.
The kicker was that in order to be eligible to have the banns read, you can't have been married before. I actually spoke to the minister who was going to be performing their ceremony, and pointed out that my ex had in fact been married before, in another church. He said, "I don't care - I'm doing this for political reasons." Nice.
Now you see why I'm sitting alone at home on Pride weekend. Inevitably, whenever I go out for Pride, guess who's the first person whom I know and bump into?
Ouch...thats bad
I have not cheated, nor has anyone cheated on me.
Im too nice and too selfconcious to do something like that to a person I love...and I would punish my self for that for rest of my life
And Im not excatly a "ladies man"..thus cant really ruin my opportunities of being with someone
Those who cheat...
Well, I think if one wants to sleep with someone else more than his or hers partner, this person should rather end the relationship..and then go on with whatever.
Hurting someone like that can have lasting effect to the other person, the cheater just isnt always there to witness those things
I think peoples excuses for cheating are almost always very lame, like: "It just happened" or "he/she didint give me enough"
Adults communicate...and communication is the most important thing in a relationship..after love and trust.
Its sometimes difficult, and not always easy, but one can learn how to do that well
I got dumped the day after senior prom for a diner dish washer of questionable immigration status. Obviously, something was going on before the fact.
Ended up marrying a high school valedictorian with the Ivy League PhD who runs marathons in her spare time. I'd say I traded up.
Ended up marrying a high school valedictorian with the Ivy League PhD who runs marathons in her spare time. I'd say I traded up.
I used to go by the excuse that I was saving myself for someone special. I say excuse because that way I couldn't get close to someone that might hurt me (heavily bullied during my teens). Then I slacked up on that and met my ex, and much good that did me.
These days I'm just feeling that I want to get it out of the way so that I then can start getting good at it. Because the first time will likely be terrible no matter how hard I'll try
I just want to put it behind me so I can stop feeling so self conscious about it.
I'm so happy someone picked it up I could cry.
But you need some musical notes to really set it off. Now, try again...once more, with feeling.
But you need some musical notes to really set it off. Now, try again...once more, with feeling.I'm so happy someone picked it up I could cry.
Yes. My last (and final) girlfriend. It's what turned me gay.
Kidding, of course.
About the turning me gay part.
It hurt. A lot. But, at the time we were 2000 miles apart in our respective grad schools and I tried to be understanding.
Still hurt. Had to fight hard against the urge to "get even".
Kidding, of course.
About the turning me gay part.
It hurt. A lot. But, at the time we were 2000 miles apart in our respective grad schools and I tried to be understanding.
Still hurt. Had to fight hard against the urge to "get even".
I went with a girl for about 5 or 6 years. Then she decided to go to Florida during spring break with her girlfriend. I was against it, but what ya gonna do? She was gone for 10 days and called me one time, from a bar. When I picked her up from the airport she had a hickey on her neck, and said it was a bug bite. Well, I'm not THAT stupid! I knew something went on, but didn't know what. She finally admitted to making out with some guy, but said that was all. We went to a frat party sometime after that and she got her purse stolen. It was found a few days later and she asked me to pick it up for her. I knew her diary was inside and did a rotten terrible thing and read it. It read like a letter to Penthouse magazine. In those 10 days she slept with two guys. Not at the same time, but still... She was screwing one guy with her girlfriend doing another guy in the next bed. I was devastated! Anyway, she was sorry, and said it was the booze, yadda yadda yadda, and I forgave her and tried to put it behind me, but I couldn't. We dated for two more years and got engaged, but every time we'd have any kind of fight I'd throw Florida up in her face. I just could not get past it, the relationship got toxic and eventually we broke up. This turned me off relationships for a long time.
Yes. My last (and final) girlfriend. It's what turned me gay.
Kidding, of course.
About the turning me gay part.
So she didn't get a toaster oven, then?
these stories are horrible! Im so glad Im asexual & have never had interest in dating.
There's a thread about relationships lasting longer than 20 years. You should probably read that one too, get a more balanced view of the TrekBBS relationship world or, at least, see the two extremes
Angela 0077
Captain
these stories are horrible! Im so glad Im asexual & have never had interest in dating.
Yes some of the stories are sad and sometimes it is also sad when boyfreinds and girlfreinds do not tell each other that there is a problem in a relationship.
It is horriable to hang on to think that you are the only one for that person and then you realize that you are not.
I think it is a learnig experiece and it is sad that we have to face these types of things.
The emations you go through from crying to anger then exceptance is a long road to full fill.
Angela 0077
Captain
There's a thread about relationships lasting longer than 20 years. You should probably read that one too, get a more balanced view of the TrekBBS relationship world or, at least, see the two extremes
i jnow that my parents were married for 23 years before they separated and it was a terrivle time.
My two brthers and mysef were teenagers and the courts where you get devotced said that when children are in there teens it does not effect them much
i think it is wrong to say that
My brothers and l went through this in different ways from my older brother hating his own mum and even to this day not excepting the breakup of my parents
My youger brother and l were siting down and then l started to cry and we just held each other.
To this day it still makes me sad what sometimes happens whn marriges and the other can sometimes be sorted out by just talking to each other.
Even to today my parents have moved on but the do think that maybe if thety talked they could have been tohether now
Geez l feel like crying
Angela 0077
Captain
Geez that was abit rough that one of the gitls used you for practice because she had not dated for a long while
I cant beleive some of the stories l am reading smiles.
The way and the means on the way poeple behave is astounding
1984 my freshman year of college I fell head over heels for another freshman. We started dating and then one day I went to her dorm room to see her she was sitting on the bed with another guy!
I was crushed and went back to my room and listened to "Purple Rain" and "The Beautiful Ones" by Prince over and over again (We shared a common like of Prince)
I was crushed and went back to my room and listened to "Purple Rain" and "The Beautiful Ones" by Prince over and over again (We shared a common like of Prince)
