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Hardest Member: Pike or Kirk? (Possible Spoilers)

Samuel T. Cogley

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Continued from here...

Akiraprise:
Re word it and try again.

Okay, here goes nothing...



So we know that Star Trek XI is going to feature both Pike and Kirk, but it is still unclear how large a role each character will have.

We know that both Kirk and Pike are members of Starfleet, and probably have been for some time. But which member is stronger? Which member has more influence? Which member has more experience?

It seems likely that Pike will already be quite the battle-ready, hardened member by the time we see him at the beginning of the film. Kirk will likely be a softer member, and we will probably see him harden somewhat over the course of the film. By the end of the film, I expect Kirk to be well on his way to the member that we all know and love.

I doubt we'll see Pike in his later years, when he becomes a non-functioning member. Those delta-rays will wreak havoc on even the strongest member. And sadly, even with mechanical assistance, Pike is pretty much useless in the member department. He's a burned, paralyzed, mess of a member by the time we see him in "The Menagerie."

I'm also curious to see if Shatner is going to end up playing the older, fatter member at the end of the movie. No one can do old, fat member better than Shatner.

And I'm curious to see who Spock is more loyal to. We know Spock would do just about anything for his member, but which member is his favorite? In the time period of Star Trek XI, he has probably spent 10 or 11 years with one member (Pike), and Kirk will be a new member from Spock's perspective. An up and coming member. Will we see Kirk fully become Spock's member, or will that happen in a later film? And we know that Spock was a big enough fan of his original member (Pike) that he's willing to break Starfleet regulations and risk court-martial to spend more time with that member and make sure that his member is happy, no matter the cost.

I think Pike will be Spock's favorite member at the time of this new movie. He just isn't familiar enough with Kirk as a member, and he will have plenty of time to experience his new member (Kirk) once the member transfer occurs.

It's rumored that the Romulans might travel back in time to kill Kirk's parents, thereby making the Romulans member-blockers. And the old Spock will inevitably be involved in member restoration.

So let's take a vote:
 
Re: Strongest Member: Pike or Kirk? (Possible Spoilers)

I love your tenacity, Sam. I didn't get to vote in the last version, so I went:

Kirk
Kirk
No
Cock Blockers
 
Re: Strongest Member: Pike or Kirk? (Possible Spoilers)

Garth Rockett said:
I love your tenacity, Sam.

Yeah, this one feels a little limp, though. :(

My cock thread was so strong and vital!

Oh, well. This will have to do until all the members get a thesaurus so they can become masters of cock.
 
Re: Strongest Member: Pike or Kirk? (Possible Spoilers)

Samuel T. Cogley said:
Garth Rockett said:
I love your tenacity, Sam.

Yeah, this one feels a little limp, though. :(

My cock thread was so strong and vital!

Oh, well. This will have to do until all the members get a thesaurus so they can become masters of cock.

If this movie is gonna involve time travel, shouldn't the detectives from Temporal Investigations be involved? And shouldn't the anger they feel over the willy-nilly violation of the timeline cause theem to throb? So, will we see the throbbing dicks in this movie or won't we, that's what I wanna know.
 
Re: Strongest Member: Pike or Kirk? (Possible Spoilers)

^ Yes. But they will be stuck in the shuttle bay.
 
Re: Strongest Member: Pike or Kirk? (Possible Spoilers)

See, Pike and Kirk are both members at the start of this movie, but Pike has to be the better cock. He's been a cock for at least ten years, already! And he's the only cock that Spock has ever known. Pike is Spock's cock.

Spock will learn that Kirk is a member, but will probably have little reason, at least initially, to believe that Kirk is a cock. Kirk is going to have to make the impression of a cock on Spock. That takes time. And it will likely leave a mark on Spock forever. But that comes later on.
 
Re: Strongest Member: Pike or Kirk? (Possible Spoilers)

Samuel T. Cogley said:
See, Pike and Kirk are both members at the start of this movie, but Pike has to be the better cock. He's been a cock for at least ten years, already! And he's the only cock that Spock has ever known. Pike is Spock's cock.

Spock will learn that Kirk is a member, but will probably have little reason, at least initially, to believe that Kirk is a cock. Kirk is going to have to make the impression of a cock on Spock. That takes time. And it will likely leave a mark on Spock forever. But that comes later on.
Not to mention that Spock becomes quite the cock himself, later on. He certainly left his mark on the Academy students! They saw exactly how firm he was - not just as a fine, upstanding member, but also as a cock.

I'd say that Kirk left the biggest impression on Spock. That's quite a lot of cock over the years.

But as you say, this is all to come. But for all we know, Kirk could present his supreme cock credentials very early on - he may take Spock's breath away, such will be his cock power.
 
Re: Strongest Member: Pike or Kirk? (Possible Spoilers)

Funniest. Thread. Ever.

(whaddya mean I have a poor standard of humour?!)
 
Re: Strongest Member: Pike or Kirk? (Possible Spoilers)

^Careful where you aim that sucker!

Cogley, you put new meaning into Spock's command of "Re-Member" to McCoy in TWOK. Clearly it's actually an instruction to re-member his forkedness when he's regenerated on Genesis.

I'd say it's highly likely that the way to tell pre-TSFS Spock from post-TSFS Spock is that regenerated, re-membered Spock is no longer forked!

This also explains why certain Trek costumes looked like Members Only jackets.
 
Am I the only person who thinks this whole thing is just dumb? It's giggly junior-high locker room humor, and it's not even good giggly junior-high locker room humor. It's incredibly labored. It's a half-step up from fart jokes.
Samuel T. Cogley said: Okay, here goes nothing...
Nothing, indeed. :rolleyes:
 
It is still more entertaining than "Should Christine Chappel's Tampon Have A Cameo in the Film" Threads!!
 
Those are just as dumb. Bones1864 and Samuel T. Cogley are on the same page with this stuff, imho... but if you're all having fun, please, carry on. I'll mind my own business going forward.
 
Very creative, STC.

Kirk is clearly the shorter, wider member.

Pike is obviously the harder member.

Spock and Pike are members with more history togther.

Spock is a member who doesn't like to be touched, and can pinch other members, making them go limp.
 
Kirk was clearly the hardest member.

Pike spent far too much time blubbing about being "tired of being responsible for 203 lives" and so forth. Kirk looked after 430 souls and you didnt see him whining and complaining about it.

What little we know thus far suggests Pike was a fairly introverted, somewhat weak member. Pull yourself together, man.
 
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