Good Husband or Emasculated Wuss?

[TheSeeker]

Handbags are for sissies like this.

 

[rhubarbodendron]

Heehee, good point And Tarzan wore a similar bag, too! And Yoda.

Rainbow Dash, are you a vegetarian? Leather is a byproduct of meat production. It causes less allergies and is much sturdier than artificial leather. It is more environmentally friendly as it can be composted. Also, in real leather you sweat less than in artificial fibers. And the animals get killed anyway, whether the leather is being used or not.
And in the ground real leather keeps longer - think of future archeologists!

 

[doubleohfive]

Handbags are for sissies like this.

This thread has been won.

 

[Amaris]

are you a vegetarian? Leather is a byproduct of meat production. It causes less allergies and is much sturdier than artificial leather. It is more environmentally friendly as it can be composted. Also, in real leather you sweat less than in artificial fibers. And the animals get killed anyway, whether the leather is being used or not.
And in the ground real leather keeps longer - think of future archeologists!

I get what you're saying, but it still makes me uncomfortable. I'm not a vegetarian (though I am moving in that direction), but I'm more okay with eating meat as sustenance than I am using animal skin to make a handbag. It's just a personal preference, really. I don't think anyone's immoral or bad for using leather.

 

[Locutus of Bored]

Handbags are for sissies like this.

Well, I don't know if he's a sissy, but he's clearly whipped.

 

[Mary Ann]

 

[doubleohfive]

 

[TheSeeker]

I think Locutus just out-winned me!

 

[Mr Awe]

I'm still unsure as to what my "weird issues" are, exactly. The only real opinion I gave was how I feel about certain colors...I tried to explain that I initially felt that the guy did seem pretty whipped but upon further consideration I saw that he really was being pretty manly in that he didn't care about seeming masculine. I also found from my wife that in Asian culture, they have a different concept of what is masculine and don't think twice about things that might come off as feminine.

It doesn't matter what his culture is. You're confusing being helpful with being "unmanly", whatever that means.

Then, you doubled-down on that by stating that you still think guys who like pink are feminine. You've also equated feeling manly by surrounding yourself with masculine things.

I actually don't think you're weird in the sense of being unusual. Unfortunately, these outdate ideas are still too common. I just think it's a backwards mindset.

In the end, I'd just give you two pieces of advice:

• Be aware of, and try to correct, this tendency to judge people based on superficial details, like color preferences.
• Don't feel the need to surround yourself with certain props to feel masculine. Just be yourself.

Mr Awe

 

[Kestra]

I'm still unsure as to what my "weird issues" are, exactly. The only real opinion I gave was how I feel about certain colors...I tried to explain that I initially felt that the guy did seem pretty whipped but upon further consideration I saw that he really was being pretty manly in that he didn't care about seeming masculine. I also found from my wife that in Asian culture, they have a different concept of what is masculine and don't think twice about things that might come off as feminine.

There also was a lot of info we didn't have on the topic and posting the thread was probably a bad idea. But I genuinely did start it to keep the debate I had seen on FB going. It wasn't like threads in the past where I had an opinion already and just wanted it verified...I really was just trying to stir the pot a bit and get discussion flowing. Somehow that devolved into my wife being accused of mocking and me being labeled a closet homosexual simply because I don't like the color pink and find it feminine. The piling on was pretty ridiculous, even given how I came off. I will say though that my friend was out of line for taking the photo and I too for posting it, and for that I apologize. I probably could have just as well described what was in the photo with the same result.

Thanks for coming back to the topic and putting some thought into the post above. I get that you reposted the pic without really thinking about it because we all do stuff like that sometimes.

In regards to the guy being whipped or not, I can see how some of it could be cultural but obviously a lot of non-Asians disagreed with the idea of him being whipped so it's not entirely limited to Asian culture. Personally, I think the term is demeaning and maybe even damaging to healthy relationships. I really don't think that anyone should ever be made to feel bad for being considerate or helpful to their partner. Even if done jokingly, there's something driving someone to make that comment and the target of it is going to be made to feel bad for no reason.

I grew up in a house where my dad would try to get home before my mom just to cook dinner so she wouldn't have to. Or he'd take her car to fill it up with gas so she didn't have to do that. I'm not saying that I expect that of everyone, because couples have their own standards in relationships. But calling someone like that whipped serves no purpose either.

Anyway, I don't need to draw out the discussion a ton. I think people could have held back on some of the assumptions about you but I also think you could (and should have) clarified where you were coming from sooner. In the end I just wanted to say that I appreciate that you came back to this thread to post again.

 

[Tiberius Jim]

do you think it's perhaps a matter of age/generation?
If I'd ask my brother to bring me a box of tampons from the drugstore, he'd not bat an eyelash and ask "which size?". My dad would feel uncomfortable but buy them. My grandpa would have dropped dead at the thought
(and in case you wondered: yes, I buy condoms for my brother when I happen to go to the drugstore. My mom would presumably buy them if there were no witnesses -we've never tried that out yet. My grandma would not even have dared to use the word.)

Maybe in a generation or two men will wear handbags as well. I usually carry a backpack, but in situations where a backpack would be inappropriate handbags are quite useful. (Plus: if you keep a cobblestone in it, you can knock out any mugger!)

I went into a 24 hour drug store on the night of my wedding to get my wife some pads because she started mere minutes after we left the reception. Yeah...that happened. I didn't have a problem going in alone to grab them for her, although I probably got a lot of funny looks as a guy in a tux pacing up and down the feminine products aisle at midnight trying to find the one she asked for

It doesn't matter what his culture is. You're confusing being helpful with being "unmanly", whatever that means.

Then, you doubled-down on that by stating that you still think guys who like pink are feminine. You've also equated feeling manly by surrounding yourself with masculine things.

I actually don't think you're weird in the sense of being unusual. Unfortunately, these outdate ideas are still too common. I just think it's a backwards mindset.

In the end, I'd just give you two pieces of advice:

• Be aware of, and try to correct, this tendency to judge people based on superficial details, like color preferences.
• Don't feel the need to surround yourself with certain props to feel masculine. Just be yourself.

Mr Awe

I never said I "surround myself with manly things to feel manly", that was something one of the many armchair psychologists in this thread suggested. I simply stated that my tastes tend to be those that are somewhat masculine. You say to be myself..well "myself" likes those styles. I've always been a "less is more" sort of person when it comes to style and those colors and styles appeal to me. A color like pink seems more "loud" to me, and I wouldn't wear that any more than I would wear bright lime green. That, and yes...I still feel that pink is predominantly a feminine color. If you check out the wikipedia page for the color Pink. Under "common connotations it lists the following: "girls, dawn, love, health, breast cancer awareness, homosexuality, calmness, fairies, Valentine's Day, spring, Easter, beauty, cuteness, glamour" Not that I'm advocating wikipedia as a harbor of supreme truth here, but it does provide an example. It's simply my opinion, and clearly that of others as well and I fail to see what makes it "backwards."

I did use a messenger bag in highschool and college. Fairly close to a satchel I suppose. Although it was black.

Thanks for coming back to the topic and putting some thought into the post above. I get that you reposted the pic without really thinking about it because we all do stuff like that sometimes.

In regards to the guy being whipped or not, I can see how some of it could be cultural but obviously a lot of non-Asians disagreed with the idea of him being whipped so it's not entirely limited to Asian culture. Personally, I think the term is demeaning and maybe even damaging to healthy relationships. I really don't think that anyone should ever be made to feel bad for being considerate or helpful to their partner. Even if done jokingly, there's something driving someone to make that comment and the target of it is going to be made to feel bad for no reason.

I grew up in a house where my dad would try to get home before my mom just to cook dinner so she wouldn't have to. Or he'd take her car to fill it up with gas so she didn't have to do that. I'm not saying that I expect that of everyone, because couples have their own standards in relationships. But calling someone like that whipped serves no purpose either.

Anyway, I don't need to draw out the discussion a ton. I think people could have held back on some of the assumptions about you but I also think you could (and should have) clarified where you were coming from sooner. In the end I just wanted to say that I appreciate that you came back to this thread to post again.

And I appreciate your level minded comments, especially after what preceded them. And you're right, I should have clarified sooner in the thread. It just seemed like everything I was saying was either being misinterpreted or not read at all. Once I had left it alone for a while and then came back I felt a bit better about stepping back into the fray.

 

[rhubarbodendron]

I didn't have a problem going in alone to grab them for her, although I probably got a lot of funny looks as a guy in a tux pacing up and down the feminine products aisle at midnight trying to find the one she asked for

Now *that* would have been a photo we could use in this thread!

You're more curageous than I thought!