Gi.I.Joe trailer: fails to fail

[Trekker4747]

It looks terrible to me. Even for the relatively low bar you can set for a movie based on a freaking line of toys and a movie that doesn't even feature the central character of the damn toy line it is based on!!

Seriously, the CGI running and jumping of the CG "accelerator suits" made me think of Halo and a cheap way out of doing complex CGI.

"These are your accelerator suits."
"Er, what does it accelerate?!"
"Your CGI counterpart. It's cheaper to animate that way."

And, apparently, Cobra has some crazy weapon that he can fire into Paris that dissolves the Eiffel Tower. You know, instead of just launching a friggin nuclear bomb at Paris!!

This movie looks lame.

Like "Street Fighter" and "Mortal Combat" movies lame.

 

[SeerSGB]

Well the crazy weapons is part of Cobra's MO, so nothing really new there. Come on, is teh Weather Dominator or the MASS device all that much more plausible?

Of course we will need the mandatory: GI Joe vs The Transformers movie

 

[MeanJoePhaser]

Ya know, when I had GI Joes, they were 12" tall and meant to be replicas of actual soldiers. I never understood the itty bitty 3" village-people-looking versions. How were they "real" American heroes?

Because their competitors on the market at the time were people from a galaxy far, far away and some overly-muscled aryan from Eternia. So, compared to those fantasy concepts, they were REAL AMERICAN HEROES.

And it was 3 3/4". 12" figures had died out in the U.S. by the early 80's.

 

[Trekker4747]

And it was 3 3/4".

Oh, well that's all the difference, then. Never mind.

 

[Forbin]

Ya know, when I had GI Joes, they were 12" tall and meant to be replicas of actual soldiers. I never understood the itty bitty 3" village-people-looking versions. How were they "real" American heroes?

Because their competitors on the market at the time were people from a galaxy far, far away and some overly-muscled aryan from Eternia. So, compared to those fantasy concepts, they were REAL AMERICAN HEROES.

And it was 3 3/4". 12" figures had died out in the U.S. by the early 80's.

Aye. 'Twas a sad, dark time.

 

[Captain Craig]

Ok what do I think? Two things

Goddamn this looks good!

Everyone has been ragging on this movie ever since the first few stills of the Delta-6 Accelerator Suits came online. Now of course the hardcore Joeists are going to hate this updated version of G.I.Joe no matter what. But if you think of this as a fast summer movie this looks fun as hell!

One - you think this looks good

Mind you, Terminator 4 seemed like that too but we all know what a fuck of fail it came out to be...imo(fixed this for you)

Two - you think T:4 is full of fail

Your opinion carries little to no weight with me on what good might be.

 

[Chess Piece Face]

Cobra Commander could be an iconic villan on the level of Darth Vader. I see nothing in this trailer that tells me they understand this.

 

[MeanJoePhaser]

And it was 3 3/4".

Oh, well that's all the difference, then. Never mind.

If you lost 3/4" off something, you'd notice.

Besides, it was a scale started by Micro Man (released in the USA as Micronaughts) in the 70's. That Kenner used it for Star Wars made it popular. That's why they went with it. So, yeah, it mattered to someone.

 

[Broccoli]

Two - you think T:4 is full of fail

But T4 was full of fail.

Cobra Commander could be an iconic villan on the level of Darth Vader. I see nothing in this trailer that tells me they understand this.

Yeah, that strikes me as odd too. I never watched the cartoon, but everyone knew who Cobra Commander was. My only guess is that he doesn't appear until the end or so, setting up a sequel (which, admittingly, could be a bad move if the film horribly tanks).

 

[Admiral Buzzkill]

What part of that didn't look like crap?

 

[Captain Craig]

Two - you think T:4 is full of fail

But T4 was full of fail.

No it wasn't. The same people who complain about Indy4 or Star Wars installments(ie prequel trilogy) are the same ones complaining here. You wait so long to get the product but you've already scripted it in your head. When it doesn't match the thousands of iterations people have dreamt up they claim fail and are mad/dissastisified that it wasn't how they envisioned it. Ghostbusters 3 is behind an 8ball already.


Back to the Joe trailer though there is seemingly no way its even mediocre. It will at the least make Salvation look like a superior film to those down on T:4.

 

[ManOnTheWave]

"GO! GO! GO!"
"Here they come..."
"We're running out of time!"

Jesus, throw in "Let's get outta here!" and you'd have the most cliched script of all time.

Throw in "Here we go again," "Only in America," "I'm too old for this shit," and "We're like this all the time."

There are hardcore Joeists???

RAMA

Oh, yeah. Though you've never quite felt as though you've wasted your life completely as when a Bulletman fan has blocked your exit for more than five minutes.

What part of that didn't look like crap?

The part that makes me laugh the most is the end of the trailer. After showing all of this cgi shit which is supposed to be really impressive (perhaps to its target market of twelve year olds), it ends with rockets shooting out of a car. Wow. Like right out of a James Bond movie made in the 60s.

 

[Welshie]

As for Transformers, I really hope you're not holding that up as an example of a good movie made from a toy tie-in, because unless you're secretly Michael Bay and just shameless self-promoting, that's not gonna fly.

Yes, because there are so many fantastic, well-made movies that were made from a toy tie-in.

That aside, I did like Transformers, mostly because I am not a stuck-up fanboy over the original cartoon.

That aside, Michael Bay must has cloned himself into the general population as the people who liked Transformers greatly outnumber the ones who hated it.

In any event, I was citing Transformers as that was a movie based on a toy-line and it was wildly successful. If anything, making a GI Joe movie is digging into a newly opened barrel.

Actually, I can't think of any good movies made from a toy tie-in, which is sort of my point. As for Transformers, it wasn't bad because it wasn't faithful to the cartoon (which was pretty ridiculous... I was more of a fan of the toys myself), it was bad because it had a bad plot, bad acting and bad dialogue.

As for the movie's mainstream success, I'd like to put forth this idea: success doesn't equal quality, although quality works can be successful ones. I mean, if commercial success is always indicative of quality, then Twilight's a literary masterpiece and Britney Spears is a great musician. Lest you think it's just my personal tastes dictating what I think is a 'good' movie, here's an example of some quality films that I personally don't like, but I can admit are very well done (and commercially successful): the various Pixar movies. I've a few in passing (taking my nephew, who loves 'em) and while I didn't enjoy them much, I could see that a plot that made sense, solidly built characters with workable motivations, good pacing, etc all made for a film that was very well done, if not at all to my taste. Transformers, along with most Hollywood 'blockbuster films' lacked these elements. Unless I turn out to be horribly wrong, GI Joe will be yet another action flick in the Tranformers mold.

 

[Broccoli]

Two - you think T:4 is full of fail

But T4 was full of fail.

No it wasn't. The same people who complain about Indy4 or Star Wars installments(ie prequel trilogy) are the same ones complaining here. You wait so long to get the product but you've already scripted it in your head. When it doesn't match the thousands of iterations people have dreamt up they claim fail and are mad/dissastisified that it wasn't how they envisioned it. Ghostbusters 3 is behind an 8ball already.


Back to the Joe trailer though there is seemingly no way its even mediocre. It will at the least make Salvation look like a superior film to those down on T:4.

I liked Indy 4 and the Star Wars prequels. Also, I never had any pre-formed opinions on T4 as I wasn't really anticipating a T4 to begin with. So, your analogy doesn't work for me. And T4 was a terrible movie.

Unless I turn out to be horribly wrong, GI Joe will be yet another action flick in the Tranformers mold.

Which is what I think this movie is going for.

Yes, I realize that Transformers wasn't Citizen Kane (who here honestly thought it would be?). But it was a fun, throwaway summer blockbuster. Lots of action, goofy humor, mostly likable characters. Critically, it didn't do that well, but, conversely, it scored very highly with general movie-goers (80% with the RT Community at Rotten Tomatoes).

 

[God Magnus]

As new trailers/teasers continue to come out, I've found myself more encouraged. The first couple didn't do much for me, but later ones look a lot more fun. I'm going in expecting G.I. Joe fighting Cobra with some sci-fi elements thrown in. Key characters are there including Duke, Snake-Eyes, Destro, Baroness and Scarlett. Not being a hardcore Joe fan, this is enough to get my butt in the seat when it opens.

 

[Aragorn]

Two - you think T:4 is full of fail

But T4 was full of fail.

No it wasn't. The same people who complain about Indy4 or Star Wars installments(ie prequel trilogy) are the same ones complaining here. You wait so long to get the product but you've already scripted it in your head. When it doesn't match the thousands of iterations people have dreamt up they claim fail and are mad/dissastisified that it wasn't how they envisioned it. Ghostbusters 3 is behind an 8ball already.


Back to the Joe trailer though there is seemingly no way its even mediocre. It will at the least make Salvation look like a superior film to those down on T:4.

This is really reaching here. You like T4 and that's fine, but to attempt to come up with a really lame reason why everyone who thinks otherwise comes across as rather desperate. And it's not like you even had anything to do with T4! It would be like someone saying he didn't like a video game, and someone who does like it responding with an empty: "Well you just don't know how to play it, so that shows how much you know."

Someone could just as easily say your opinion has no bearing because you like T4.

And what does GI Joe even have to do with T4? That's like telling someone to watch an Uwe Boll movie to show that Fantastic Four is good by comparison.

 

[LutherSloan]

I grew up with this and all, but I'm not a kid anymore. This movie feels to me like it's aimed at the lowest-common denominator. At least with Transformers they have figured out a way to make the concept workable in a live-action film.

 

[DigificWriter]

I grew up watching the G.I. Joe cartoon and playing with the toys, which I guess qualifies me as a 'hardcore' Joe fan, and I think this movie is gonna rock. It's got characters that I know and recognize, and, beyond that, looks to be a fun action-adventure romp, which, at the end of the day, is, to me, what G.I. Joe is all about.

 

[Captain Craig]

But T4 was full of fail.

No it wasn't. The same people who complain about Indy4 or Star Wars installments(ie prequel trilogy) are the same ones complaining here. You wait so long to get the product but you've already scripted it in your head. When it doesn't match the thousands of iterations people have dreamt up they claim fail and are mad/dissastisified that it wasn't how they envisioned it. Ghostbusters 3 is behind an 8ball already.


Back to the Joe trailer though there is seemingly no way its even mediocre. It will at the least make Salvation look like a superior film to those down on T:4.

This is really reaching here. You like T4 and that's fine, but to attempt to come up with a really lame reason why everyone who thinks otherwise comes across as rather desperate.

Its only A reason. The T:4 thread has listed other reasons as to why those are too harsh on this film.

It would be like someone saying he didn't like a video game, and someone who does like it responding with an empty: "Well you just don't know how to play it, so that shows how much you know."

At least for me that would be true. Tough to enjoy something if you don't fully know how to make it work. If you don't see how a movie is fitting together its also tough to enjoy. Your analogy works for me.

Someone could just as easily say your opinion has no bearing because you like T4.

If they 'got the movie' and don't have a hard on against the directors name or cause Arnold wasn't in then I could listen to them.

And what does GI Joe even have to do with T4?

The OP brought it up, fair game for discussion and it not be a derailer.


I'm just going to enjoy watching the threads popping up about a year from now with titles like: "T4 not as bad as I recall" ; "T4 a good film, what were the complaints?". It happens around here, check the fairly new Speed Racer thread that came up recently.

 

[Thrall]

The concept is about a bunch of special ops United States Army guys fighting James Bondesque terrorists. It's not one that needs to be improved on. It's not exactly a hard one to fuck up. Leave it to Stephen Sommers to be the one that could do it.