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Generic parody thread

Watches in dismay as someone posts six massive screen-stretching images in the same post. Holds head in hands as ten people quote the whole post just to add a "KEWL!!1!" comment. Bangs head on desk as more people quote the quotes which quote the images just to add "HAHAHA!! Yeah, I know!!1!" comment.

Rebukes said posters. Told to lighten up.

Frowning emoticon.
 
Makes vaguely suicidal comment, which teeters on the edge between a joke in poor taste and a possible intent to harm myself.

Creates awkward tension in the thread as posters decide whether to laugh at my comment; try to cheer me up; hit the "notify moderator" button; or just walk away and pretend they never read the post in the first place.
 
ancient said:
Posts 10,000 word essay on what the next movie should be about, in a very serious and scholarly way.
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Notes actually only 4,400 words. Links to a website used to make word count. Implies poster is actually a producer of a SCI-FI channel 'recurring mini-series'. Ponders if Mansquito 2.0 is his next project. Un-non-sequiturs and questions poster's mansquitohood.

Blasts Lord Garth's incompetence as a moderator for not closing this. Accuses BBS admins of being neglectful, poster being neglectful of existence of MA and QS&F.

For no particular reason, points out Mrs. Cogley keeps calling in the middle of the night with a breathy voice.
 
Open taunting of new forum mods, daring them to close this thread. Slang term for female mammary glands followed by many exclamation points. Devil emoticon. Evil emoticon.
 
Quotation of Zuni Fetish Doll's post. Profession of affection for Zuni Fetish Doll's posting style. Request that he reconsider. Statement that he has too much to live for. Questions sanity of any poster who would not want to survive to see Trek XI.

Hits "Notify Mod" button anyway.
 
Gep Malakai said:
Questions sanity of any poster who would not want to survive to see Trek XI.
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Points out that the rotating nacelles concept is now set in stone and proven by another poster in ways that can never, ever be questioned. Wonders if a true fan would ever really allow himself to live in a world where rotating nacelles existed, if even for a moment.

Reminds everyone of the decades-old Trekkie maxim: "If non-rotating nacelles are wrong, I don't want to be right."

Speculates drunkenly that it might have been a rotating nacelle that wooed away Mrs. Fetish Doll all those years ago, especially after my own nacelle had been so non-rotating for so long.

Falls to knees and sobs uncontrollably. Sad face emoticon.
 
Drunkin rant with typos. Politics.
Calls out a previous poster for an insult made by someone on an entirely different board.
 
Debates Zuni Fetish Doll's definition of "proven." Calls him out on melodramatic posturing. Implies he should get over himself.

Jimmy_C said:
Pedantic correction of Star Trek trivia.
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Angry exception to Jimmy_C's tone. Implication that he was attacking my post halfway upthread. Irate complaint that no one has bothered to respond in detail to my own long, numbered list of minutiae on prior page. Implication that ancient owes me this favor for my reply to his essay.

Eyeroll emoticons in response to Franklinstein, minus explanation, so it look like they are a continuation of my attack on Jimmy_C.
 
New mod accepts dare. Closes thread.
Aforementioned mod's PM box subsequently explodes with calls to get a sense of humor and resign.
Mod meekly sits in corner, wishing for the intestinal fortitude of nuCaptain Kirk, and quietly reopens thread.
 
Sickening display of ass-kissing to new mod. Kissy-face emoticon. Smiley-face emoticon.
 
Triumphant gloating over newly aquired power for having bested the will of a moderator. Thanks to all posters invovled for support of thread. Comical intimation that I am considering a run for the presidency. Big grin emoticon.

Scathing response to and point by point refutation of Gep Malakai's earlier post, one of those things where every single line, or even segments of lines only one or two words long, is quoted and then replied to with at least a paragraph.

Seemingly innocent request for information regarding whether or not said poster has ever seen TOS, but couched in such patronizing language that it can only have been intended as an insult. Statement that, if poster does not "like it" we can take it to TNZ and turn it into an all-out, no-holds-barred flame war.

Reminder about my upcoming presidential campaign... with statement that I have decided I am not running for President of the United States, but in fact President of Star Trek.

Specially-created emoticon wearing a crown and bearing a scepter topped by a delta shield logo.
 
Shows concern for Cogley's Fetish Doll. Notes he hasn't posted for a few centons. Suggests calling the local constabulary.
 
leadprophet said:
Scathing response to and point by point refutation of Gep Malakai's earlier post, one of those things where every single line, or even segments of lines only one or two words long, is quoted and then replied to with at least a paragraph.
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Quotation of entirety of reply, including pedantic, single-line quotes. Whiny, hurt reaction to content of response. Implication that I was only looking for positive reactions. Aspersion cast upon quality of leadprophet's parenting. One-word "refutations" of each of leadprophet's points.


Seemingly innocent request for information regarding whether or not said poster has ever seen TOS, but couched in such patronizing language that it can only have been intended as an insult. Statement that, if poster does not "like it" we can take it to TNZ and turn it into an all-out, no-holds-barred flame war.
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Witty comeback. Statement of fan enthusiasm for TOS. (Inaccurate) claim to never miss an episode, even the remastered ones. Threat to notify mods if above poster continues his use of aggressive language. Implication that he will be receiving a vitriolic PM in the near future. Evil emoticon.

Reminder about my upcoming presidential campaign... with statement that I have decided I am not running for President of the United States, but in fact President of Star Trek.
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Referral to Zuni's General Trek Discussion thread about an organized fandom. Argument that, since leadprophet has not been inducted into said fandom, he is ineligible for the office of president. Veiled implication that, due to own substantial contributions to said topic, I may run for president just to piss leadprophet off. Devil emoticon.
 
Cryptic note. Expresses gratitude towards friends and family. Tries bravely (but not sincerely) to forgive enemies. Quotes Spock dialog from the latter part of Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan. Quotes Kirk dialog from the latter part of Generations.
 
Zuni Fetish Doll said:
Cryptic note. Expresses gratitude towards friends and family. Tries bravely (but not sincerely) to forgive enemies. Quotes Spock dialog from the latter part of Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan. Quotes Kirk dialog from the latter part of Generations.
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Compares cryptic note with TV Guide issue of last week. Quizzes percentage chance likelihood of the Cogmeister bidding farewell forever. Includes a poll in post.

Bids him not to leave. Quotes Peter Quincy Taggart dialog from Galaxy Quest.
 
Information gleaned fro ma friend of a friend of someone's brother who said that [/b]Zuni[/b] has moved to a monastery in Tibet for spiritual healing and wellness. Statement of condolence to other posters. Wellwishing to Zuni and his family, however many of them there may be left.

Claim that Zuni's account may have been taken over by trolls in his absence. Request for other posters to beware anyone posting under his name. Suggestion that this "Zuni" be beaten by moderators with a stick.

Joke about Chris Pine needing a hairpiece.
 
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