Funny things children say

[Peach Wookiee]

^

My niece has officially become smart... She knows that commercials are supposed to sell you something, how to operate a mouse and now that "Maleficent was made dead, Gaston was made dead and the Wicked Queen was made dead."

 

[Sector 7]

Most children's first words are "Mommy" or "Daddy". Little Miss Sector 7 was soundly tucked in for her nap (or so I thought), so I started to empty the clothes dryer. Although I did not notice at first, an extra pair of little hands were helping me.

Upon realization, I asked, "What are you doing out of bed?"
Her reply was her first words, "I help."
That's my baby girl!

On second thought, it may not be hilarious, but it was special to me.

 

[Mary Ann]

^ Love it! And those are two first words, making her a very clever girl.

 

[scotpens]

When my son was around 4 we had to have our cesspool opened and drained. My son and i were watching the guy work from inside the house...and as the man took the 2' round cement cover off the cesspool my son pointed to the little hole in the ground and said, “We swim in that???”

Good thing he was too young to know what fish do in it!

when I was 2 or 3 I told my mom this:
“At the conclusion of the word hamburger, Ben says booger.”
Ben is my younger brother

Hell, I’m in my fifties and I still say I’m having lunch at “Booger King.”

My niece has officially become smart... She knows that commercials are supposed to sell you something, how to operate a mouse and now that “Maleficent was made dead, Gaston was made dead and the Wicked Queen was made dead.”

Seems like she has a good grasp of the concept — she just needs to learn a few new verbs!

 

[Peach Wookiee]

^Later she said they "got dead," and "got died."

 

[B.J.]

Here's a sign that you're watching too much HGTV: My wife and I were watching House Hunters, and they get to the part where they choose between the 3 offerings. My 11 year old son pipes up and says "I'd take #1, because it's newly renovated and move-in ready." The completely straight way he said it, and the fact that we'd never expect something like that coming out of his mouth (it's usually Pokemon everything), just made my wife and I fall over laughing! What's even funnier is that he couldn't understand *why* we were laughing!

And nothing specific, but my 2 1/2 year old son's speech patterns and subject matter perfectly mimics Baby Plucky from Tiny Toons. "No, *I* close the door! Is not your turn, is mine!"

 

[ares93]

So mother came home from work (kindergarten teacher) today completely dumbfounded. apparently one of the kids, three years tops, barely able to speak. anyway she needed a change of clothes and when my mother wanted to get her dressed, she exclaimed; "No! I want sexy clothes!"

sometimes you underestimate how observant young children are, badly... Mo motehr had a long talk with the kinds parents afterwards...

 

[Peach Wookiee]

^Sexy clothes?!

 

[ares93]

^Sexy clothes?!

i'm not pulling your leg, mate. the kid actually said that. although i seriously doubt she knew what she was talking about...

 

[Finn]

Yesterday at school....

To teacher

Student:l "your desk is different. All other teachers' desks have gum stuck underneath. Your doesn't"

 

[Mary Ann]

^Teacher's privilege, eh?

 

[GeorgeKirk]

When my little brother was around 4 yrs. old, he went through a phase where he liked to drink orange juice mixed with Sprite. One day in the grocery store with my Mom, he said very loudly and clearly "Don't forget the orange juice for my mixed drinks!"

 

[Velocity]

When my son was 4, we used to go pick up his sisters from school and while we waited for them to come to the car we played games to pass the time. One day we were rhyming words and we took turns saying, more, poor, door, and then my son said (w)hore. I said, there's no such word, and he said yes there is! Pirates say it. I said, what do pirates say? He said, they say "A (w)hore there, matey!"

 

[infinix]

I have a friend who teaches at an elementary school. Her first day of class, she asked the students (she taught the 3rd grade) "Do you think I am young or old?"

One of the students' response was "Your clothes are young, your face is old"

My friend was 24 at the time, and quite heartbroken for a while.

 

[scotpens]

. . . One day we were rhyming words and we took turns saying, more, poor, door, and then my son said (w)hore. I said, there's no such word, and he said yes there is! Pirates say it. I said, what do pirates say? He said, they say "A (w)hore there, matey!"

Why do sailors shout “Land ho”? Because where there’s land, there’s ho’s!

Reminds me of when Johnny Carson was reading kids’ letters to Santa Claus. One boy wrote: “Dear Santa, I would like two horses, one black and one white.” At least, that’s what he probably meant to write. He forgot the first S in “horses.”

 

[Schistocerca]

When my son was 4, we used to go pick up his sisters from school and while we waited for them to come to the car we played games to pass the time. One day we were rhyming words and we took turns saying, more, poor, door, and then my son said (w)hore. I said, there's no such word, and he said yes there is! Pirates say it. I said, what do pirates say? He said, they say "A (w)hore there, matey!"

Brilliant

 

[ElBurro]

I have a niece and nephew (they're my best friends kids but they call me Aunty Catherine). Nephew is 11 now. When he was little, he used to pick up words and phrases and repeat them all the time. If you did something that he didn't like, he'd say 'You're a naughty boy' (he used to hear that A LOT). If you did something he really didn't like, he'd say 'You're a naughty boy, now go to bed!'

Niece is 7 and in her own little world. A couple of years ago, I was on a train with them and me, nephew and best friend were playing 'I spy' and niece wanted to join in. Whilst looking straight out of the window at the field we were passing, she said 'I spy with my little eye, something beginning with H'. I looked into the field and said 'Horses?'. She said yes and I replied 'Those are cows'. She's obsessed with sea life at the moment. She came down from her bedroom one day and showed her mum a list of all the fish she wanted to catch - 'Octopus, Sea horse, Dolphin'.

Also, not a funny thing he said, but one of my favourite stories about nephew. He was about 2 or so and learning to talk. Best friend and I were sitting on the floor playing with him and he said the name of a friend of ours. He'd only met Dave a couple of times and had known me since he was born, but he hadn't learnt to say my name yet (though I do accept that Dave is a lot easier to say than Catherine when you're little). I said 'I wish he could say my name'. Nephew then looked straight at me and said 'Dafra'

 

[Yeoman Randi]

When my little brother was around 4 yrs. old, he went through a phase where he liked to drink orange juice mixed with Sprite. One day in the grocery store with my Mom, he said very loudly and clearly "Don't forget the orange juice for my mixed drinks!"

OMG. That's priceless!!!!!

 

[thestrangequark]

I have one to add from a lesson today:

I was teaching a 2nd grade (in the Bronx) poetry writing lesson focusing on writing expression as well as a core literacy skill: visualization. For the lesson I bring in three very different pieces of music (either instrumental or in a foreign language the kids won't know), we listen to it, and visualize where the music takes us and go through the 5 senses: what do we see, hear, taste, etc.

So, first we listen to Miriam Makeba, "Embhaceni," and the kids are raising their hands saying they see things like, "bright colors," "a hot place," "people dancing," and so on.
Then, we listened to Gershwin and Rachel raised her hand and said... "I see white people."

 

[think]

I think I remember somewheres a kid saying he did not like his finger nails getting clipped because it made getting the buggers out of his nose more difficult..