For men (or anyone) over 40....
- Thread starter Warped9
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J
Jetfire
Guest
^
Doesn't hurt to try...just be casual and everything will be ok.
Doesn't hurt to try...just be casual and everything will be ok.
I'm 42 and for over a year, I was dating a 24-year-old. It worked for us - we have the same interests and could talk over the webcam for three or four hours every night and always have stuff to talk about. Sure, it was a little odd when I realized that there was a 4/7 chance that I could pinpoint exactly where I was the day he was born (because I was working at a part-time job for Parks and Recreation that summer), but that was my problem, not his or anyone else's. (It turned out that he was born on one of the days I wasn't working. 
)
Funnily enough, one of the reasons why he broke up with me was that he wants kids and I don't.
)Funnily enough, one of the reasons why he broke up with me was that he wants kids and I don't.
J
Jetfire
Guest
I'm 42 and for over a year, I was dating a 24-year-old. It worked for us - we have the same interests and could talk over the webcam for three or four hours every night and always have stuff to talk about. Sure, it was a little odd when I realized that there was a 4/7 chance that I could pinpoint exactly where I was the day he was born (because I was working at a part-time job for Parks and Recreation that summer), but that was my problem, not his or anyone else's. (It turned out that he was born on one of the days I wasn't working.
Funnily enough, one of the reasons why he broke up with me was that he wants kids and I don't.
You don't??? Shame...it is a noble thing to raise children when they aren't forced upon you...even if I have children with my dream woman...I still would adopt or foster some kids.
I don't know, I'm 26 and I could imagine dating someone in their early forties. It wouldn't be ideal and I think it would take a strong connection for me to consider it, but I wouldn't automatically reject a man that age. I think a lot of it would have to do with our own motives and where we are concerning other things in life. Would he want kids? Would we need to have them sooner than later? How would I feel about the age difference as we got older? These are all things to consider and there are definite disadvantages, but I imagine that some relationships are worthwhile despite these things.
Shame it didn't work out; I thought I read that in another thread but didn't want to ask. It is good that you figured out a fundamental difference like that, however. Some things simply cannot be worked out and attempts to do so can just make things worse for both parties involved.
That's no shame at all. Some people are more inclined to parenthood than others. It's only really a shame when such issues are unresolved in a relationship, someone is forced into a role that they do not want, or someone denies their true feelings on the subject.
That's not to say that TT wouldn't make a good parent, I just think it's perfectly natural to want children or not.
J
Jetfire
Guest
^
Apologies, I meant Shame as Awww...for TT . I respect his decision.
Apologies, I meant Shame as Awww...for TT . I respect his decision.
Two words: Roman Polanski.
It wouldn't necessarily have to be my mind.
I apologize to everyone present for dragging this thread down into the gutter.
^
Apologies, I meant Shame as Awww...for TT . I respect his decision.
Oh no, I should apologize! I was overzealous in my post, and I apologize for the confusion.
As long as both parties are consenting adults, of course, there isn't anything wrong with it. And an age difference doesn't mean different interests. Many people have hobbies that go beyond Top 40 and American Idol. But in terms of a long-term relationship, a large age difference may present problems as the couple gets older.
J
Jetfire
Guest
^
I am about to sound super silly...
If you love someone you will find a way to connect to them and bond.
I am about to sound super silly...
If you love someone you will find a way to connect to them and bond.
You're a cool guy, Warped. Go for it, man! You deserve some fun and kicks. 
Remember: Age is a state of mind, not a lifestyle.
Remember: Age is a state of mind, not a lifestyle.
Two words: Roman Polanski.
Roman Polanski? This is not a thread about buttsecks.
Cue Steely Dan:
Hey, nineteen, that's 'Rretha Franklin.
She don't remember
The Queen of Soul.
And, four more words: Don Imus. Paul McCartney.
Speaking as the 20-something involved with a 40-something (17 years age difference), it can work... it worked for us for a good three years. We broke up mainly over kids -- she had a teenager already and didn't want to start over with babies, and I wanted babies of my own (I mean, geez, I wasn't asking her to get pregnant again 
). We also had distinctly different ideas about how to raise kids. But that would've broken us up regardless of age. If there'd been a way to reconcile those philosophical differences we might still be together.
Also, apropos of... something... I personally know more about the 60s and 70s pop culture than I really care to know about the here and now. :P
). We also had distinctly different ideas about how to raise kids. But that would've broken us up regardless of age. If there'd been a way to reconcile those philosophical differences we might still be together.Also, apropos of... something... I personally know more about the 60s and 70s pop culture than I really care to know about the here and now. :P
I've just turned 40 (yikes). I've had this happen a handful of times over the past 5 years or so. Now, mind you, I'm happily married so nothing happened. But, the thought was fun and it makes you wonder. After thing about it more, after the initial excitement, you realize there would be some differences that may or may not present problems. But, they're no bigger than other things that come along in life. So, my take, is that it would be workable with the right people who were understanding of where the other is coming from. Basically skills that would make any relationship healthy.
If you've both got that, good, if not, it's probably a short term thing.
Mr Awe
If you've both got that, good, if not, it's probably a short term thing.
Mr Awe
Seriously, there's no reason why it can't work if both people are mature. That's the key. Someone only 22 or so getting hooked up with someone almost 40 is a lot different than someone 32 or so getting hooked up with someone almost 50.
Even then, who knows for sure. Depends on what each is looking for.
There are too many variables involved to make generalizations. Indeed, the idea that there's anything more to consider than there is in how to make any relationship work is that so many people tend to discourage these relationships outright. There's a certain stigma attached to them ("We know what he's after. But what does she see in him?" -- or the other way around). The couple has to be willing to get over that, too. I'll bet many of these relationships suffer and end due to outside stress, not internal stress.
Even then, who knows for sure. Depends on what each is looking for.
There are too many variables involved to make generalizations. Indeed, the idea that there's anything more to consider than there is in how to make any relationship work is that so many people tend to discourage these relationships outright. There's a certain stigma attached to them ("We know what he's after. But what does she see in him?" -- or the other way around). The couple has to be willing to get over that, too. I'll bet many of these relationships suffer and end due to outside stress, not internal stress.
You know what they say about May-December relationships -- when it's a younger woman and an older, wealthier man. We all know what December sees in May, but what does May see in December?
Santa Claus!
For years, I didn't hear anything past "Sweet things from Boston, so young and willing."
MollyRoger
Lieutenant Junior Grade
what about from the other perspective?
what if you're a 20ish lady and a 40ish man takes an interest in you?
*reads a few random posts*
oh.. nvm, lol
but as an 18 year old girl I must say that I have already succumbed to the charms of 40+ men
what if you're a 20ish lady and a 40ish man takes an interest in you?
*reads a few random posts*
oh.. nvm, lol
but as an 18 year old girl I must say that I have already succumbed to the charms of 40+ men
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