For men (or anyone) over 40....

[Warped9]

Okay, here it is. You are a decent guy and generally plays things straight. You're also single and unattached. Now out of the blue a nice looking early 20s girl makes it apparent she's seriously interested in you. What are you gonna do? Do you say to yourself, "Awright! Paydirt!" or do you say, "I dunno, she's about young enough to be my daughter or at least my baby sister."

On the face of it a roundabout fifteen year difference doesn't seem like much. But what if you're older and the difference starts creeping up to the 20-25 or so year difference?

Oh, and any women over forty, the same applies if a younger guy seemed interested in you.

 

[FPAlpha]

It depends on the person (as always).

If she's mature enough and you can spend interesting time with her that doesn't involve only sex then it bears looking further into the relationship.

In my experience there are very mature and intelligent early 20s and very immature and dumb "adult" people.

 

[Warped9]

In my experience there are very mature and intelligent early 20s and very immature and dumb "adult" people.

Very true.

 

[T'Baio]

Questions like this always get the same, and true, answer; it depends on the person.

It's wrong to say things like "as long as they're not dumb," because that's some strange bias that people have that really annoys me...that just because someone is older they're smarter than someone younger. There are brilliant 20 year olds and brilliant 60 year olds...just as dumb has no age limit.

As long as you're both of age and you get along, that's all that matters.

 

[Warped9]

I've known folks who can be brilliant at what they do and are idiots in other things.

Uh, Tiger Woods step forward...

 

[RevDMV]

I would say like all complicated situations, it depends.

SPOCKED seemed to have worked it out in his, so given the right lady for you, it could be great.

 

[Q2UnME]

Well, I'm 45, so I guess I meet the desired "response" demographic!

15+ years age difference, it could be tough to overcome that gerneration gap. You'd have to have enough common ground to base "something on". There are many, many things that can be obsticles - music tastes, life experiences, something as simple as what "going out and having fun" really constitutes.

My sister-in-law and brother-in-law have a 17 year gap in thier ages. Things that she liked (being the younger) often drive her husband absolutely nuts. They've been married 9 years, but it has been very rocky (and almost ended twice).

If it's the right person, probably won't be a big deal. The only way you're going to find out is to give it a shot.

Q2UnME

 

[Emher]

As said, depends on the person. I'd say that it would be a shame if you let the age difference hold you back.

I have a friend that's 35 and a few years back he was nuts about a girl, and great girl by the way, but he didn't make a move since she was 19. He's now involved with a girl that's 23 and things seem to be going well, except he's voiced some concern about the age difference. I've basically said that he's being silly and if it's working he shut the hell up and enjoy that he has a partner.

If it works, it works.

 

[scottydog]

As people have already mentioned, it's not any so-called maturity difference that would stop me from having a relationship with a much younger woman. Plenty of people in their 20s are as mature, or more mature, than people in their 40s and 50s.

What would concern me is the generation gap in experiences & pop-cultural knowledge. Having a conversation with a woman in her 20s is interesting and I learn a lot. But (again, this is me) I prefer to be with someone who shares much of the same historical experiences, TV shows & movies growing up, etc.

 

[Warped9]

What would concern me is the generation gap in experiences & pop-cultural knowledge. Having a conversation with a woman in her 20s is interesting and I learn a lot. But (again, this is me) I prefer to be with someone who shares much of the same historical experiences, TV shows & movies growing up, etc.

Well said, and this is this is how I'm inclined to think. There's also the fact that even it works for a time one day you'll be significantly older and they'll still be rather youthful and vital. What then?

 

[T'Baio]

This is exactly where depends on the person comes in. In answering this, everyone always has this list of things that would worry them about someone younger, but really they're just listing things they'd like in a partner, regardless of age.

Just because someone is 15 years my junior, doesn't mean she can't have seen Star Wars and Star Trek and Knight Rider or whatever and love it just as much. All that's available on DVD now. I love classic David Bowie, somehow "grew up" with it, but wasn't around at the time. Yet I can have an excellent conversation about it with someone 15 years my senior, who was there at the time. Being young doesn't preclude you from seeing and experiencing and enjoying things that were around before your time.

 

[Warped9]

My biggest issue is the one where you're a lot older and they're still youthful and vital. You might not have the zip to keep up with them anymore. Sure it could still work, but it's a legitimate concern.

 

[T'Baio]

So get some Viagra. It'll help you keep up, and help prevent strokes!

 

[Emher]

I just realized that I posted in this thread in spite of being under 40 Oh well, avice still stands and likely would if I where that age.

 

[T'Baio]

*shrugs* Eh, I'm under 40, too. Whatever.

 

[Jetfire]

I am almost 32...so if a 20 something wants to get with you a 40 something...go for it, if you like her...age is just a number after a certain point.

 

[scotpens]

What would concern me is the generation gap in experiences & pop-cultural knowledge. Having a conversation with a woman in her 20s is interesting and I learn a lot. But (again, this is me) I prefer to be with someone who shares much of the same historical experiences, TV shows & movies growing up, etc.

Yes, it can sometimes be a problem when you're in your 40s or 50s and you're with someone who doesn't remember Studebakers and Packards, typewriters, rotary dial phones, TVs where you actually had to get up to change the channel, and African-Americans being called Negroes!

So get some Viagra. It'll help you keep up, and help prevent strokes!

Sure, why not? It works for Hugh Hefner.

 

[Spot's Meow]

Speaking as an early 20s girl, I can't imagine someone my age seriously wanting to date a man that much older. If this was the case I would probably assume she has other, more hidden motives for being with him. Or I would assume that she has emotional issues for wanting to be with someone her daddy's age. That may be judgemental but I can't help but think it when I see someone so young with someone so much older.

 

[T'Baio]

Sometimes love doesn't know age, and it is being judgemental to think otherwise. Beyond the triteness of that, there is even an evolutionary perspective as to why many women like older men. So maybe it's just in their g(j)e(a)n(e)s.

 

[John Picard]

Two words: Charlie Chaplain.