Falling In Love Over The Internet

[VidiianSkinRash]

Has anyone here ever fallen in love with someone over the internet?
I have, I haven't even physically met her yet but I know I'm in love with her and she says she is in love with me. I was wondering if I'm just kidding myself or if anyone else has experienced this and if it's ever gone on to something more serious?

 

[Star Wolf]

All that you know is that the other person is willing to meet with a permanent or long term relationship in mind. At this point you have to take the risk and meet or just treat the potential relationship as an internet game and move on to someone else to play with.

 

[Warped9]

Tough call, but I would have to say yes.

I know people personally who met online and have been married for several years.

I also met someone over a year ago online and I am over the moon for her. We write each other near every day and speak on the phone about every two or three weeks. Unfortunately we haven't been able to do the webcam thing yet because she doesn't have access to one.

I'm hoping to visit her this spring or early summer. My challenge, though, is that she lives in Russia. And, yes, although I felt odd about it I did run a scammers check on her even though she didn't exhibit any clear signs she could be one. She never asks anything of me but my time and attention. She certainly never asks me for gifts or money. Indeed money is a sensitive subject that she doesn't feel is proper to be discussed between a courting couple.

We've discussed being on guard against projecting unrealistic expectations on each other and we talk about all manner of things. Sometimes there have been little disagreements due mostly to unfamiliarity with each other's culture, but we understand all couples have to adapt to some extent or other and this is one thing for us.

Candidly this caught me somewhat by surprise because I, too, was skeptical I could feel this way. But it can happen. She is very intelligent (she's a civil attorney), wickedly funny, expressive and quite sensitive. And I am crazy about her. We've even shared pictures of each other when we're not at our best and dressed casually.

Yes, it can happen, but you should always maintain some measure of awareness in regard to it. And candidly, people can fool you in person just as easily as online. It's just another way people can meet each other.

 

[RJDiogenes]

Of course this can happen. Anyplace where people can meet and get to know each other, they can fall in love. Many times in the past pen pals have fallen in love-- on the Internet it's even easier than that.

 

[Yeoman Randi]

My first thought: Jayson

My second thought: Yes

 

[The Mirrorball Man]

I don't believe in a love where physicality doesn't exist at all. I'm sure you can develop strong bonds over the internet, but there's so much that's happening in the first couple of minutes you're meeting someone that I do think it's an essential part of actual love.

 

[Lookingglassman]

I work with a soldier who met his first wife on the internet and it lasted a month and then she was cheating on him so he divorced her.

He then met his second wife on the internet, got married a month after divorcing the first one and got this one pregnant. Well this second wife is a little more level headed, but didn't know her husband was a freak and spilled the beans to his leadership about his "ways". This guy loves to dress up in women's lingerie, have a certain device used on his butt during sex, has sex with other men and is a member of a tranny website trying to hook up with other gay guys. His second wife reported all this to his leadership and to further add salt to the wound, showed them pictures of this guy's perverted activities. She also wants to abort his baby because she don't want any ties to him if they divorce.

Needless to say all this info got out to the Soldiers so now they make fun of this guy.

The lesson to this is: If you got any deep dark secrets, stay away from internet love.

 

[Mary Ann]

Sure it's possible. My husband and I first met as penfriends in '91, before either of us had access to the internet. We were friends 'til we met face-to-face, which is when we truly fell in love, and we maintained a long-distance relationship 'til I moved to the UK and we were married 3 years later. We'll be married 16 years this summer. There are several people on this board who have met their life partners on the internet, so go with your instincts if you feel this relationship is right for you.

 

[Warped9]

I work with a soldier who met his first wife on the internet and it lasted a month and then she was cheating on him so he divorced her.

He then met his second wife on the internet, got married a month after divorcing the first one and got this one pregnant. Well this second wife is a little more level headed, but didn't know her husband was a freak and spilled the beans to his leadership about his "ways". This guy loves to dress up in women's lingerie, have a certain device used on his butt during sex, has sex with other men and is a member of a tranny website trying to hook up with other gay guys. His second wife reported all this to his leadership and to further add salt to the wound, showed them pictures of this guy's perverted activities. She also wants to abort his baby because she don't want any ties to him if they divorce.

Needless to say all this info got out to the Soldiers so now they make fun of this guy.

The lesson to this is: If you got any deep dark secrets, stay away from internet love.

So it's only a matter of time until these folks (or someone like them) show up on Jerry Springer?

 

[Quinton O'Connor]

Of course it can happen. It can happen anywhere.

 

[Cheapjack]

Well, Dennis and I have been going for a while.

 

[The Mirrorball Man]

Of course it can happen. It can happen anywhere.

But the internet is not an actual where. It's only a metaphorical place, and in my opinion, the only love that can blossom there is equally metaphorical.

 

[Quinton O'Connor]

Of course it can happen. It can happen anywhere.

But the internet is not an actual where. It's only a metaphorical place, and in my opinion, the only love that can blossom there is equally metaphorical.

I respect your opinion and absolutely understand why you'd arrive at such a conclusion, but I simply don't agree. For me, where a person's words always dictate the utmost significance in determining how I view them, enough exposure to one's words and I might well feel something of love.

Without exposure to mannerisms, motions, speech patterns and the like, I don't believe there's quite enough 'data' on the internet to form a solid opinion of whether or not someone is totally right for you, but I would still tend to classify falling in love as a distinct possibility, even if it needs to be tested IRL as soon as possible to ensure the rest of the deal holds up.

But I'd still call burgeoning feelings on the internet under the 'falling in love' category, absolutely.

 

[The Mirrorball Man]

Without exposure to mannerisms, motions, speech patterns and the like, I don't believe there's quite enough 'data' on the internet to form a solid opinion of whether or not someone is totally right for you, but I would still tend to classify falling in love as a distinct possibility, even if it needs to be tested IRL as soon as possible to ensure the rest of the deal holds up.

Oh sure, I can agree with that. I still think, however, that two people can develop a relationship over the internet, only to find out when they finally meet each other that there is no actual attraction at all. That's why I see real contact between two flesh and blood people breathing the same air as the real litmus test for love.

 

[Quinton O'Connor]

It certainly is. I think I just have a more liberal definition for the word 'love' than most and it sparks confusion sometimes when I use it, haha.

 

[ShamelessMcBundy]

Have i fallen in love with someone online? Yes. It totally happens.

 

[The Mirrorball Man]

Have i fallen in love with someone online? Yes. It totally happens.

But doesn't it mean that it's also possible to fall in love in other, non-physical relationships? If you can fall in love online, isn't it possible to fall in love with a fictional character, for example?

 

[An Officer]

Perhaps not full blown love, but I do believe it's possible to form a profound connection as a starting point... which then of course needs to go on to be proven true face to face. I am not sure the love formed online alone can be as robust as that which has been cultivated face to face, however. Since we are not disembodied pure consciousnesses floating around, some percentage of the love will obviously be dependent on physical considerations of one sort or another.

I do think there is something to be said for being drawn to someone purely during a consciousness to consciousness communication, when you know nothing about them except their thoughts... you can then be sure you are liked not just for meaningless physical trappings, but for your intangible very being. I would go so far as to say, in circumstances such as these, internet love may have something useful to contribute to our interactions, when conducted in a sensible way.

I am aware that without due care, it is very possible to be misled and find things not quite as you thought... but hey, what is life if you don't take a few risks?!

 

[TerokNor]

I too say, yes, it is possible. Though at one point in time you have to meet to see, if the love truly stands a chance.

One of my best friends met her boyfriend 12 years ago online, they fell in love, they met IRL, they fell in love even more. By today they have a child together and marry this year.

TerokNor

 

[Robert D. Robot]

I believe that honesty must be at the core of any real relationship. If the two people are completely honest with each other (whether online or face-to-face), a healthy relationship can grow. If a person hides important bits about themselves, the relationship is being built on not-so-solid grounds and may not be strong enough to hold together when the inevitable challenges in life appear.

While I have no doubt that real relationships can blossom online between people who are open and honest with each other, I also believe that the internet is a great "place" for individuals who either choose (for some reason) to not be truthful about who they really are, or for some people who aren't really interested in the ups and downs of genuine commitment. I think those dishonest people are destined to eventually form bad face-to-face relationships whether things started online, at a bar during happy hour, or during a long conversation while in adjacent seats on a long bus ride.