Facts About Cupcake

[perigee]

i do wonder at cupcakes reaction as he has been told he will stay assigned to enterprise.. and oh kirk is now captain.

I'd be kinda pissed, if they didn't take a minute and get cupcake off the hook.

"Lieutenant..." "...Cupcake, sir..?" "I was going to say Lester. You're with me."

In a way, it would be cool as hell if Cupcake ended up being the security chief TOS never had eventually. He's sure gotten a high profile for a start - they could run with it, and turn his roid-rage for the good. He may be a douche, but I wouldn't mind him around during a scrap with a Klingon. (as opposed to those pencil-necks they used to beam down like disposable tissues. Let's face it - Cupcake wouldn't go down without a fight...)

 

[SantaEddie74]

Cupcake has 145 grams of saturated Fail.

 

[KirkusOveractus]

Cupcake could be used as a traditional Star Trek parable - that of steroids getting you nowhere.

 

[SantaEddie74]

Cupcake needed steroids to pass his first grade ABC test.

 

[KirkusOveractus]

Cupcake needed cue cards to tell him how many cadets were ganged up on Kirk.

 

[SantaEddie74]

Cupcake needs a woman to wear a bag over her head or be blind to find him sexually appealing.

 

[KirkusOveractus]

Cupcake was 21 before he learned to wave bye-bye.

 

[SantaEddie74]

And 22 before he understood what the words even meant.

 

[Santa Kang]

But it did get him steady employment at ship launches.

 

[SantaEddie74]

Cupcake asks women out on dates by pretending to be someone else and never showing up in person.

 

[KirkusOveractus]

When Cupcake was born, the Doctor slapped his mother.

 

[SantaEddie74]

^



When Cupcake was circumcised, they left the foreskin on so he'd have something to brag about if only to himself.

 

[KirkusOveractus]

When Cupcake was little, they had to tie a porkchop around his neck so at least the dog would play with him.

 

[SantaEddie74]

Cupcake's ass is so big, his top half wakes up on Earth and his bottom half on Mars.

 

[KirkusOveractus]

Cupcake couldn't play in a sandbox because the cat kept trying to bury him.

 

[SantaEddie74]

Cupcake's momma's teeth were so yellow, I couldn't believe it wasn't Gold-Pressed Latinum!

 

[KirkusOveractus]

Cupcake's momma wears Starfleet boots!

 

[SantaEddie74]

Cupcake's momma was so fat, she didn't sit around the starbase...she sat AROUND the starbase!

 

[KirkusOveractus]

Cupcake's momma had 4 children, 3 of them were adopted.

They couldn't find anyone to take Cupcake.

 

[SantaEddie74]

Cupcake's momma's VISOR was so thick...she could look at a viewscreen map and see people waving back!