Robau has hosted every single episode of Saturday Night Live. He's just taken on different forms to keep it interesting.
Facts About Captain Robau
- Thread starter Herkimer Jitty
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Robau is made of a special alloy known as awesomeonium
His eyes contain a radioactive element called Robauium which emits high levels of Robau-level radiation as it decays. This is how Robau is able to kill you just by looking at you.
Captain Robau knows what to do with a drunken sailor ear-lye in the morning.
Robau hates Christmas. It's the one day that he cannot kick everyone's ass
But he does it anyway
But he does it anyway
When in doubt, ask yourself...
You know the old saying about knowing where the bodies are buried? For everyone else it's just a metaphor. For Robau it's a damn reality.
Whenever Robau catches up to a group of time traveling Romulans he rapes them to death, eats them, and sews bits of their flesh into his clothing. And if they're very, very lucky he does it in that order.
Whenever Robau maims another Starfleet officer, the official report says "Delta radiation".
When in doubt, ask yourself...
Hey! I have a bracelet of that!
or rather I did. I used to get burn marks around my wrist everytime I wore it. Mostly in the shape of an 'R'
And Captain Robau said: "It rubs the lotion on the skin."
Robau understands every line from every single Bob Dylan song ever written.
Every line of every Bob Dylan song contains a secret message that when deciphered reveals how awesome Robau truly is.
Except for Al Franken. Franken was a wannabe who thought he could take over for the Robau because, and I quote--
"I'm GOOD enough--I'm SMART enough--and DOGGONEIT--people like me...."
Robau knocked his brains loose for the insolence. Franken tried to excuse it by pleading coke addiction--but His Awesomeness was not amused.
Franken's been cursed with unfunniness ever since.
AVE CAPUT ROBAU MAXIMUS!!!
^ 
Robau cares not for your paltry politics and mudslinging of the early 21st century.
Robau cares not for your paltry politics and mudslinging of the early 21st century.
^
Robau cares not for your paltry politics and mudslinging of the early 21st century.
Aye. Robau does not approve of partisan politics! We are all equal peasants under our Lord and Savior Bad-Ass Captain Robau.
When in doubt, ask yourself...
Hey! I have a bracelet of that!
or rather I did. I used to get burn marks around my wrist everytime I wore it. Mostly in the shape of an 'R'
The Robau is also stylish. I'm diggin' the scarf there. (Then again, the Robau looks good in whatever he's wearing, or whatever he's not wearing. I'm confident enough in my Robauality to acknowledge that side of me)
^In the future psychologists will have to reexamine their concepts of human sexuality due to the advent of Robausexuality and all the Robausexuals it will create.
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