Facts About Captain Robau
- Thread starter Herkimer Jitty
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All Gynaecologists are trained with Robau's textbook.
Robau befuddles the Riddler.
Robau made Captain faster than nuKirk and with 47% more lens flare.
Robau is the terrible shadow that lurks at the edges of your worst nightmare
Don't stop, make it pop,
Robau blows your speakers up.
Robau blows your speakers up.
Robau made the Smoke Monster on Lost shit a ton of bricks.
Why did the Cardassians withdraw from Bajor? Kai Robau asked them to.
The pictures have it all wrong: Jesus did not have a beard or flowing hair, he was clean shaven and bald to emulate his mentor, Captain Robau. The three Magi were jealous so they changed all the photos. The Three Magi were never heard from again after Robau learned of this and decided to pay them a special "visit."
Once Robau popped, he could stop
Gillette is not the best Robau can get
Robau has no more reasons to shop at Morrisons
Every little does not help Robau
Robau is not a PC
If Carlsberg did people, Robau would probably be the best person in the world
definitely*
the future is not bright, and the future is not orange, the fututre is Robau
Gillette is not the best Robau can get
Robau has no more reasons to shop at Morrisons
Every little does not help Robau
Robau is not a PC
If Carlsberg did people, Robau would probably be the best person in the world
definitely*
the future is not bright, and the future is not orange, the fututre is Robau
The eleventh commandment stated, "Thou shall affirm and avow that Robau is most badass." but Moses scratched it off as humans were not ready for the revelation of Robau's existence yet.
The last person to call Captain Robau "Richard" without permission died.
Horribly.
Horribly.
However, Robau also recognizes awesomeness in others. He personally blessed Keith Hernandez whose mustache is recognized as a landmark, similar to Robau's baldness.
Robau went into the long grass and the Velociraptors fled in terror. None of them survived to see another sunrise, of course.
^^And how do you think Chuck Norris got that awesome beard? 
Robau tried to grow facial hair once. However, all who viewed it were immediately struck dead by the badassery overload, and so Robau decided to go clean shaven so as not to kill off all of his subjects.
This is why others have awesome facial hair. It's Robau encouraging his proteges to become badass.
This is why others have awesome facial hair. It's Robau encouraging his proteges to become badass.
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