Facts About Captain Robau

[Boxyno1]

Robau's figthing moves are so intense that even the audience in the cinema are in danger, therefore Robau has only starred in one movie, Star Trek, and he was "killed" in the beginning for safety reasons.

He wasn't really killed, he took that spear out of his chest (it got tangled in his jumper), opened a can of whoop ass on most of the crew of the Narada with it until he just got bored. He then took a walk, had a smoke, read the newspaper and popped in the nearest pub (several thousand light years away) for a pint.

You see, Robau's scenes were the only scenes in the history of Star Trek that were actually a true story.

He was angry that they made it look like he was killed, JJ Abrams will one day get what's coming to him, but Robau is making him wait

 

[Mr. Laser Beam]

"Narada" is a Romulan word meaning "Robau is alive."

 

[Jack Bauer]

Robau tugs on Superman's cape and Superman likes it.

 

[barnaclelapse]

Robau often wonders if he blinks too much.

 

[cooleddie74]

Robau can get dates for Jerry, George, Elaine AND Kramer.

 

[F. King Daniel]

Captain Robau used to beat the shit out of Clark Kent in school.

All grown up, Captain Robau occasionally likes to stroll down to the Fortress of Solitude to beat the hell out of Superman and trash his place every once in a while.

 

[Wynterhawk]

Robau is all about the velour/

 

[rgb1701]

Graceland and Elvis' coffin are lined with black velvet Robau paintings.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Velvet_Elvis

http://www.google.com/images?hl=en&...tle&resnum=1&ved=0CDYQsAQwAA&biw=1243&bih=835

 

[Rush Limborg]

Captain Robau used to beat the shit out of Clark Kent in school.

All grown up, Captain Robau occasionally likes to stroll down to the Fortress of Solitude to beat the hell out of Superman and trash his place every once in a while.

And Clark/Superman thanks him for it.

 

[rgb1701]

Robau eats Minute Rice in 30 seconds.

 

[Mr. Laser Beam]

Robau dances the Minute Waltz in under a nanosecond.

 

[F. King Daniel]

Captain Robau keeps Babylon 5 spinning, like one huge hamster wheel.

 

[rgb1701]

True story-

While on a time travel mission, Robau became the 13th Apostle. Enraptured by Robau as their new Savior, Robau recognized the impact to the timeline and set things straight with the Man and the apostles, informing them of his Starfleet duty.

To this day "13" in unlucky in most Earth cultures.

 

[Rush Limborg]

The reason a black cat crossing your path is bad luck...is because it was Robau's cat--and you failed to call him and report it.

You failed his test of your character, imbecile!!!

 

[F. King Daniel]

Captain Robau is also a doctor.

And a lawyer.

And an archeologist.

And a vetenarian.

And a gynocologist.

And a private investigator.

And Batman.

 

[Boxyno1]

Robau has no proof of any kind of Gynacology qualification, however, when he says he's a gynacologist, then he is a gynacologist.

Ladies, you'd better let him check you out

 

[Jack Bauer]

Even with preparation Batman cannot defeat Robau in combat.

 

[cooleddie74]

Robau once beat the Joker.

With the Penguin's severed head.

 

[Jack Bauer]

Robau can bend steel without touching it.

 

[F. King Daniel]

Many years ago, someone dared Captain Robau, "I bet you can't light a match on your stubble!"

He did. They called the result "the fire of London"