Facts About Captain Robau
- Thread starter Herkimer Jitty
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You need to use trilithium in order to stop all fusion within a star. That, or have Captain Robau give the star an icy cold Robau Stare.
Robau understands every frame of every single David Lynch film.
Robau has hair more epic that Eraserhead's.
^ It's hair so epic you can't even see it. 
Captain Robau sent his hair on a top secret mission into the farthest reaches of the Gamma Quadrant. It has been theorized that the Dominion invaded the Alpha Quadrant in an attempt to escape the Wrath of Robau's Hair.
Robau once burst forth from the chest of John Hurt. Just for kicks.
One day Captain Robau decided he wanted to jump rope. Unfortunately there was no jump rope close at hand. Improvising, Robau took his cat, Snuggles, and stretched him out from end to end to make a jump rope. Thus, Longcat was created which, as you all know, is estimated to be at least 10,000 feet long.
Captain Robau can punch his way through the 4th wall and kick your ass IN 4D!!!
There used to be eleven dimensions. But Robau got mad at seven of them.
Tupac isn't dead, Robau just put him in detention so he can think about the blasphemy he committed against Captain Robau. Now, I don't know just what exactly Tupac did to deserve this, but may God have mercy on his soul 'cause I hear Robau's "detention" makes electroshock torture to the balls while having bamboo inserted into your urethra seem like having no-strings-attached sex while eating ice cream in comparison.
The real reson garth of Izar went nuts was that he tried to appear as Captain Robau and could not handle that much badass.
"Gone in 60 seconds" refers to the time when Captain Robau tried to break the transwarp barrier. Within 60 seconds, not only had Robau broken the so called transwarp "barrier" (he shattered it with minimal effort) but he had achieved a speed greater than anything conceivable by the human mind. At a loss for words, physicists called this speed the
"Holy s*** did you see that This is un-****ing believable It shouldn't be physically possible I mean, the guy wasn't even wearing a space suit in fact he was naked goddamn Captain Robau is truly an awe-inspiring badass" warp factor.
"Holy s*** did you see that This is un-****ing believable It shouldn't be physically possible I mean, the guy wasn't even wearing a space suit in fact he was naked goddamn Captain Robau is truly an awe-inspiring badass" warp factor.
I like Robau and I cannot lie
The Federation can't deny
When Robau walks in, Starfleet uniform pants
He ain't got no Borg implants
The crowd shouts! All the ladies stare
Dang that head is bare!
Walkin' through the Kelvin halls
Is a man who's got it all
Now Robau! They wanna get witcha
Cause you're making them richa
In deep space we keep it real, there
Cause everybody knows that he hates lens flares
Ooh! Robau's badass
He's the envy of all men
He grooves it and moves it
If you're like Robau, then prove it
Robau is dancin' but Nero is glancin'
He's hatin', green, got Robau runnin' the scene
I'm tired of all these Romulans, they don't respect the One
Get back to Starfleet and tell 'em now
You must respect Robau
Mr. Kirk? (Yeah!) Spock? (Yeah!)
Can Robau talk the talk? (Oh yeah!)
Cause he's badass! (Badass!) Badass! (Badass!)
Badass Captain Robau. Robau got back!
The Federation can't deny
When Robau walks in, Starfleet uniform pants
He ain't got no Borg implants
The crowd shouts! All the ladies stare
Dang that head is bare!
Walkin' through the Kelvin halls
Is a man who's got it all
Now Robau! They wanna get witcha
Cause you're making them richa
In deep space we keep it real, there
Cause everybody knows that he hates lens flares
Ooh! Robau's badass
He's the envy of all men
He grooves it and moves it
If you're like Robau, then prove it
Robau is dancin' but Nero is glancin'
He's hatin', green, got Robau runnin' the scene
I'm tired of all these Romulans, they don't respect the One
Get back to Starfleet and tell 'em now
You must respect Robau
Mr. Kirk? (Yeah!) Spock? (Yeah!)
Can Robau talk the talk? (Oh yeah!)
Cause he's badass! (Badass!) Badass! (Badass!)
Badass Captain Robau. Robau got back!
On weekends, Robau's idea of a fun night out on the town is to single handedly infiltrate and bring down a Colombian drug cartel in less than 3 hours.
And Robau could snort all that blow and not get high... he just goes "my nose tickles" sneezes and the polar ice caps are snow covered once again
Robau invented most of the filmmaking techniques first used in "Birth of a Nation." He then loaned them to D.W. Griffith and proceeded to kick his ass for an hour when the final product was revealed to him.
I love your anthem, but Robau hates lens flares?
Robau loves...Robau loves lovin'...he's got what it takes...and he knows how to use it!!
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