It's "Quiet! The Robau is about to speak!".
Facts About Captain Robau
- Thread starter Herkimer Jitty
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Robau insured I would get tickets to see Tom Petty & The Heartbreakers in Atlanta in August.
Robau's idea of comprehensive health insurance:
Kicking your ass and killing you so you don't EVER have to worry about coverage.
Kicking your ass and killing you so you don't EVER have to worry about coverage.
Robau fought Godzilla in an epic trilogy and kicked his ass in all three films. Sadly these movies remain unreleased by Toho because the awesomeness caused the test audience's heads to explode.
Actually, Robau's box of Crackerjacks contains but ONE crackerjack and the rest of the box is filled with secret surprise toys!
Robau's Crunch Berries boxes contain nothing but the berries.
Robau's Lucky Charms contain whichever charm he feels like...including one made in his honor. Pink hearts, yellow moons, orange stars, green clovers, blue diamonds, and smooth tan Robaus.
Robau invented Al Gore inventing the internet.
Robaus coffee is alway a symphony of milk, sugar and spice. And he always has a cookie.
Robau has a bone to pick with you, and by that I mean he will devour your soul and use your shattered femur as a toothpick.
Robau's penis? Halley's comet.
Also, Hale Bopp. That's why those dudes worshipped it. The mass suicide thing was due to encroaching feelings of inadequacy...also the gelding thing among many of the male members of the cult.
Robau has no problem being buried in a pet cemetery. He is perfectly willing to live his life again.
Though he doesn't have to be burried there to come back to life.
Robau doesn't need a shotgun to deal with zombies. One punch to their head from his fist causes the zombie virus to leave its host out of fear of Robau. Once the person has become human again, Robau punches them gain, killing them instantly for having wasted his time.
The same thing works for magically animated zombies. In fact, Robau can dog punch a zombie and K/O the necromancer animating it.
He's that badass.
He's that badass.
Robau uploads apps to his handheld devices by sheer intimidation.
If Captain Robau's pants were, in fact, on the ground he would not look like a fool, he'd just be more awesome.
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