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Facts About Captain Robau

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Robau has his own version of the 24 drinking game. When he watches 24 and says "Dammit!", Jack Bauer has to have a drink.
 
Robau plays quarters by trying to flip poured whiskey and beer onto coins. If he hits them, he swallows the coins whole and turns them into a highly efficient fuel for his starship.
 
Robau doesn't need an IP to surf the Web. He simply closes his eyes and gets a high-speed, thought-controlled stream projected onto the insides of his eyelids.
 
Robau can spell "Kelvin" using no fewer than all 26 letters of the alphabet.

Don't believe me? Ask him. And he'll prove it to you by FORCE.
 
When you hit Mighty Robau in the balls, he just laughs. When Mighty Robau hits you in the balls... you become a Enuich
 
Robau never needs creamer in his coffee. He simply glares at his cup and the coffee gets milkier-looking out of fear and intimidation.
 
The only reason The CW still exists is because Robau and his friends like to be able to do their own Mystery Science Theater commentary whenever they feel like it.
 
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