Robau once met Genghis Khan during a trip back through time. And became Genghis' role model.
Facts About Captain Robau
- Thread starter Herkimer Jitty
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Facts about…USS Kelvin
USS Kelvin NCC-0514
Long-range Survey Vessel
Specifications:
Length – 467 meters
Mass – 240,000 metric tonnes (plus of minus 20,000 depending on Captain Robau’s breakfast)
Propulsion:
Twin impulse power units
1 space/warp unit
Max. safe cruising speed: w/f 6
Emergency Speed: w/f 8
Captain Robau Treadmill Drive
Weapons:
4 duel-mount phaser banks
multiple pulse-phaser turrets
Captain Robau.
Crew – 799 nobodies and 1 Captain Robau.
The envy of the fleet.
USS Kelvin NCC-0514
Long-range Survey Vessel
Specifications:
Length – 467 meters
Mass – 240,000 metric tonnes (plus of minus 20,000 depending on Captain Robau’s breakfast)
Propulsion:
Twin impulse power units
1 space/warp unit
Max. safe cruising speed: w/f 6
Emergency Speed: w/f 8
Captain Robau Treadmill Drive
Weapons:
4 duel-mount phaser banks
multiple pulse-phaser turrets
Captain Robau.
Crew – 799 nobodies and 1 Captain Robau.
The envy of the fleet.
Robau once fixed a broken warp nacelle with scotch tape, one his eyelashes and a long, stern STARE.
^AVE CAPUT ROBAU MAXIMUS!!!^
The one worthy opponent for the Kelvin, was, of course, the Narada--and that was only because Captain Robau wasn't on the bloody ship!
And even then, the Narada's days were far more numbered than Nero and his crew of ponces thought. The Kelvin's weaponry took advantage of the Red Matter space/time disruptions and simply buried themselves in it's fabric, awaiting the time that that dumbass Nero would open up another Red Matter black hole.
He did. And what you thought was the Enterprise riddling the Narada with firepower (it was, but it had help) was all that ordinance from the Kelvin awaiting time to strike.
Now that is badass. That is Robau.
He did. And what you thought was the Enterprise riddling the Narada with firepower (it was, but it had help) was all that ordinance from the Kelvin awaiting time to strike.
Now that is badass. That is Robau.
^AVE CAPUT ROBAU MAXIMUS!!!^
Captain Robau IS Smarter Than A Fifth-Grader.
TAKE IT, Foxworthy!!!
Captain Robau IS Smarter Than A Fifth-Grader.
TAKE IT, Foxworthy!!!
Not that he needed the tape or the eyelash.
If an entire planet knows who you are before you've even made first contact...
...you might be Richard Robau.
If an attacking ship asks you to turn on your shields to keep them safe from you...
...you might be Richard Robau.
If the bogeyman checks under its bed for you...
...you might be Richard Robau.
If you've ever led a landing party by jumping straight from your orbiting ship to the planet's surface...
...you might be Richard Robau.
...you might be Richard Robau.
If an attacking ship asks you to turn on your shields to keep them safe from you...
...you might be Richard Robau.
If the bogeyman checks under its bed for you...
...you might be Richard Robau.
If you've ever led a landing party by jumping straight from your orbiting ship to the planet's surface...
...you might be Richard Robau.
Robau is very proud of this thread and the people who contribute.
If the a Dominion fleet of 2000 ships take one look at you then turns around, runs back home THE LONG WAY...
...you might be Richard Robau.
If a prison riot breaks out on Rura Penthe and you yell out for everyone to be quiet because you're watching your stories...
... you might be Richard Robau.
He is. He even posted his appreciation once a long while back.
That warm glow you feel whenever you come to this thread? That is the energy from Robau's appreciation, sufficient to provide comfortable heating for the suburbs of any large city.
Here's a handful more from my kid brother, Rex Limborg:
They wanted to clone Captain Robau.
The clones exploded.
No one can clone Robau's awesomeness.
When Robau gets mad, the universe is in danger.
The universe grants the Kelvin smooth sailing whenever it can.
And it can. Robau wills it.
Robau can drink poisonous plants and not die.
How many species has he tried?
We've lost count.
Robau can time travel whenever he wants.
By passing gas.
And remember this:
The only reason Robau is with the Federation...is because it's the only power smart enough to submit to his awesomeness...willingly....
They wanted to clone Captain Robau.
The clones exploded.
No one can clone Robau's awesomeness.
When Robau gets mad, the universe is in danger.
The universe grants the Kelvin smooth sailing whenever it can.
And it can. Robau wills it.
Robau can drink poisonous plants and not die.
How many species has he tried?
We've lost count.
Robau can time travel whenever he wants.
By passing gas.
And remember this:
The only reason Robau is with the Federation...is because it's the only power smart enough to submit to his awesomeness...willingly....
Robau spent New Year's Eve like he does EVERY holiday. Getting drunk on the black matter of the universe and using planets as bowling balls.
Robau watched the ball drop. Then used it to knock over 1 million New Yorkers like pins.
^And they all exploded because There Is Only One Robau.
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