Facts About Captain Robau

[Yeoman Randi]

Robau can manipulate time and space without even breaking a sweat.

 

[cooleddie74]

Robau's sweat is Bailey's Irish Creme.

 

[6079SmithW]

Just one of Robau's discarded fingernail clippings has an estimated worth of 80 billion quatloos.

 

[Yeoman Randi]

^ And if you grind it up and mix it with water you have a never-ending power source.

 

[Warp Rider]

What's the square route of infinity? Robau figured it out, but never told anyone. No one could comprehend it but him.

 

[Rush Limborg]

Robau can divide by zero.

He never tells anyone the answer, lest the multiverse explode.

As if it wouldn't already, should Robau ever decide to unleash the full force of his awesomeness into space and time.

AVE CAPUT ROBAU MAXIMUS!!!

 

[6079SmithW]

The Ghost of Robau would often appear to young Kirk to teach him lessons of honor, duty, loyalty, commitment, and the value of having a functional autopilot.

 

[Broccoli]

Capt. Robau broke the time barrier.


Between his butt cheeks.

 

[cooleddie74]

Robau broke the mold.

With his eyelashes.

 

[Aragorn]

It has been ruled illegal for Robau to appear in any commercials, because if he were to promote an item, no one would ever buy competing or generic brands and they'd be put out of business.

 

[cooleddie74]

Robau nailed Megan Fox AND Scarlett Johannson at the same time. When both weren't looking or aware.

 

[Cyke101]

Robau nailed Megan Fox AND Scarlett Johannson at the same time. When both weren't looking or aware.

Doesn't that classify as rape?

 

[cooleddie74]

Robau nailed Megan Fox AND Scarlett Johannson at the same time. When both weren't looking or aware.

Doesn't that classify as rape?

Nope.

Robau used his ESP powers to subconsciously make them agree to it and like it.

 

[SalvorHardin]

Robau nailed Megan Fox AND Scarlett Johannson at the same time. When both weren't looking or aware.

Doesn't that classify as rape?

Nope.

Robau used his ESP powers to subconsciously make them agree to it and like it.

So, there was no surprise buttseks ?

 

[cooleddie74]

Doesn't that classify as rape?

Nope.

Robau used his ESP powers to subconsciously make them agree to it and like it.

So, there was no surprise buttseks ?

That's Cupcake's speciality.

 

[cooleddie74]

Robau does not need to wait in line to get his shuttle pilot's license at the UFP-DMV. He simply glares at the desk clerks until they bring the new license to him. Outside. In the men's room of the lobby.

 

[6079SmithW]

When the Jedi Order was just starting, Robau was originally called Ultimate Grand Master of all Knowledge, Truth, Power, Combat, Enlightenment, and Discipline of both the Unifying and Living Theories. This title was too long, so later on he was simply referred to as "The Force."

 

[Aragorn]

Robau can eat EVERYTHING listed at thisiswhyyourefat.com in one sitting, multiple times, and lose weight.

 

[Hartzilla2007]

If it were possible to eat Robau his body would produce enough food to feed the entire population of Earth for 3,000,000,000,000 years.

 

[6079SmithW]

There is no such thing as the theory of plate tectonics. Robau rips continents apart and smashes them together with his bare hands, rearranging them as he damn well pleases.