Facts About Captain Robau

[gimpy117]

Captain Robau has the ability to fold space, that is to travel anywhere in the universe without moving.

Robau demands that the location he wishes to travel to comes to him, and it complies.

I thought the universe was already at his fingertips...

 

[EnsignRicky]

Captain Robau has the ability to fold space, that is to travel anywhere in the universe without moving.

Robau demands that the location he wishes to travel to comes to him, and it complies.

I thought the universe was already at his fingertips...

It is. The last time he clipped his nails, four billion stars blinked out of existence

 

[EnsignRicky]

Captain Robau is no longer allowed to run with the bulls. Too many bulls were getting hurt.

 

[Islander]

Robau never retreats, he just attacks in the opposite direction.

 

[cooleddie74]

Captain Robau beat Mike Tyson's Punch-Out in one round. Not the game. The man.

 

[Islander]

The scene where Robau is killed by Nero is the most expensive special effect ever contracted by any Holywood production before. It still remained unrealistic.

 

[cooleddie74]

Robau wasn't killed by Nero's spring-loaded can opener thingy. He ate it, then shat out a thousand bullets made from its digested metal...which he then used to kill Nero's entire crew.

 

[Aragorn]

Batman needs time to prepare in order to defeat Superman.

Robau can accidentally defeat Superman when he wakes up and groggily stretches his arms out while yawning.

 

[cooleddie74]

Robau's ancestor once failed to defeat Iron Man. Robau himself?

Could beat Iron Man in his sleep.

 

[EnsignRicky]

Captain Robau's skeletal structure is composed one hundred percent pure robaunium, which is like a million times stronger than titanium.

 

[Hartzilla2007]

Robau could break Wolverine's bones.

 

[Aragorn]

Attempting to film a movie on Robau's life would make director Michael Bay curl up into a ball and cry like a baby. Only Robau himself could handle telling such an awesome tale.

 

[gimpy117]

there were once four choices in Rock, Paper, Scissors the forth being Robau but it was deemed unfair and was promptly deleted.

 

[EnsignRicky]

there were once four choices in Rock, Paper, Scissors the forth being Robau but it was deemed unfair and was promptly deleted.

Actually, Rock, Paper and Scissors were promptly deleted and the game became known as Robau. Everybody loses before the game is even played. Though technically it would be a draw, nobody beats Robau, not even Robau. Then again if anybody could, it would be Robau.

 

[Aragorn]

If Robau had been the captain of Voyager, he would've captured the Maquis, killed the Kazon, destroyed the Caretaker, gotten the ship back home and nailed Kes before the first commercial break, thus negating the need for an entire TV series filled with reset buttons, technobabble solutions, Borg castrations, time travel dead-horse-beatings and self-indulgence.

 

[Herkimer Jitty]

If Robau had been Commander of DS9, he would have marched through the wormhole and annihilated the entire Dominion with his left eyebrow. This is before the Wolf 359 flashback even starts.

 

[gimpy117]

when Robau flies first class he always has to buy a second seat; his balls are too large and heavy for him to have only one seat.

 

[EnsignRicky]

when Robau flies first class he always has to buy a second seat; his balls are too large and heavy for him to have only one seat.

Nah, he just slings them into the overhead.

 

[F. King Daniel]

When Captain Robau says “Polarize the viewcreen!” you better polarize the fucking viewscreen.

In a foul mood one night, Captain Robau looked up at the moon and yelled “Fuck off!” The moon did, and thus begat Space 1999.

A one night stand with Captain Robau is what messed up Amy Winehouse.

Melora from the DS9 episode of the same name didn’t need a wheelchair until she spent a night with Captain Robau.

Crystal Meths are hooked on Captain Robau.

...every viewscreen. Everywhere.

 

[EnsignRicky]

Robau is as Robau does.