Facts About Captain Robau

[Islander]

Robau runs Windows Vista on his Etch-a-Sketch and he can delete the Recycling Bin.

 

[cooleddie74]

Robau's Etch-a-Sketch?

The surface of Saturn's rings.

 

[Islander]

Robau owns the greatest Poker Face of all-time. It helped him win the 1983 World Series of Poker despite him holding just a Joker, a Get out of Jail Free Monopoly card, a 2 of clubs, 7 of spades and a green #4 card from the game Uno.

 

[cooleddie74]

Robau can get a royal flush with a pack of nose tissues.

 

[Islander]

Crop circles are Robau's way of telling the world that sometimes corn needs to lie the fuck down.

 

[cooleddie74]

Some UFO sightings are actually Robau's frisbees.

 

[Hartzilla2007]

The only Trek canon is what Robau says happened in Trek, everything else is a damned lie.

 

[Islander]

Robau can kick ass with both feet on the ground.

 

[cooleddie74]

Robau does pull-ups by lifting himself on his own erect phallus.

 

[Islander]

Robau has beat the shit out of so many people that Starfleet's medical journal now classify him as a laxative.

 

[cooleddie74]

Captain Robau's diploma from the Academy is made from soild gold leaf and the blood of cadets who tried to best him in class.

 

[Islander]

Robau sleeps with a nightlight 'cuz the dark is afraid of Robau.

 

[cooleddie74]

Robau once killed a mime with his pinky finger.

 

[Islander]

Robau scared the black out of Michael Jackson.

 

[Plecostomus]

Robau has beat the shit out of so many people that Starfleet's medical journal now classify him as a laxative.

And people in California pay good money to use him as a weight-loss method.

 

[Daneel]

Robau once killed a mime with his pinky finger.

Robau once killed another mime with his own make-believe phaser.

 

[cooleddie74]

Robau has faith of the heart. Many hearts, in fact. Ripped clean from the chest cavities of his enemies.

 

[Islander]

A cobra once bit Robau's leg. After 5 days of excruciating pain, the cobra died.

 

[cooleddie74]

Robau's single remaining scalp hair was used to create the most powerful slingshot ever made.

 

[Islander]

Robau doesn't know where you live but he knows where you'll die!