Facts About Captain Robau

[Herkimer Jitty]

Captain Robau knows 1,988,047,203,113,894,326,649,210 ways to kick your ass.
And 3,976,094,406,227,788,653,298,420 ways to kill a man.

 

[Dart]

The Kelvin was built around Robau over the course of six years.

 

[Squiggy]

Captain Robau is the real reason why Spock no longer scream.

 

[cooleddie74]

Robau CAN get to the last digit in pi.

 

[Herkimer Jitty]

Robau knows how many licks it takes to get to the Tootsie Roll center of a Tootsie Pop.

One.

He never bothered to find out how many it takes for the average human being.

 

[Squiggy]

Robau's mother grabbed him once. ONCE!

 

[Herkimer Jitty]

Robau doesn't need a subspace radio. His yells have a range of ∞ LY.

 

[M'Sharak]

Robau doesn't need a subspace radio. His yells have a range of ∞ LY.

O R∞LY?

 

[The Wormhole]

Robau doesn't need a subspace radio. His yells have a range of ∞ LY.

O R∞LY?

Ya R∞LY!

 

[Akiraprise]

Post twice if you have to, FEED THE ROBAU!

Captain Robau tires of SPAM. He demands more variety in his meals.

 

[Nick Ryder]

Captain Robau is worth spamming but even the Robau would tire of spam.

Captain Robau doesn't need to look for a date, they magically appear in quarters

 

[Herkimer Jitty]

The seasons fear Captain Robau.
As well as the wind and the sun and the rain.

 

[Daneel]

Ceti Alpha VI was chosen as a repository for Captain Robau's excess awesomeness. After a few minutes, the planet couldn't contain it any longer, and that's the real reason it exploded.

 

[Herkimer Jitty]

If you blow off James T. Kirk's head, it'll kill hill.

If you blow off Captain Robau's head, it'll really really annoy him.

 

[Akiraprise]

If Captain Robau had been in command of the Enterprise when Khan attacked he would have physically gone down to the engine room and smacked the shit out of the shield generator until it came back online. Then he would have proceeded to the torpedo bay, physically picked up a photon torpedo, infused it with his badassery, bypassed the launch mechanism, and thrown it at the Reliant himself. Prior to detonation Khan would have screamed "Rooobbaaauuuuuuu!!!!!!!!!!!"

THE END

 

[Hartzilla2007]

The real reason Nero's ears are deformed is that Robau grabed them and ripped the tips off. After which Nero screamed like a little girl.

 

[Squiggy]

If Captain Robau was a woman, he'd be Jack Bauer.

 

[cooleddie74]

If Jack Bauer were Captain Robau, he'd get more women.

 

[Nick Ryder]

Captain Robau laughs at how people compare him to Jack Bauer, when its Jack Bauer that should be compared to him. Then he'd go and give Bauer a wedgie because he can.

 

[cooleddie74]

Right now, Jack Bauer is confused as hell.