The only reason you’re living and breathing is because Captain Robau is allowing it.
Captain Robau has an official fan club. It is called the human race.
If Kill Bill Uma Thurman and Captain Robau had a fight it would be so badass that it would instantly bring about the Big Crunch and the end of the universe.
Captain Robau knows what you do at night.
Captain Robau has a cooler phone than you.
Captain Robau uses violence to solve everything.
Captain Robau’s ringtone is a recording of his enemies begging for their lives.
Captain Robau’s hobbies include: Jogging, tennis, cooking and making wallpaper from the eyelids of his enemies.
That’s not a warp nacelle under the Kelvin, that’s Captain Robau’s giant Borg-enhanced penis.