Facts About Captain Robau

[cooleddie74]

Playing with yourself makes the Baby Jesus cry. Robau playing with himself makes the Baby Jesus cheer.

Raptor Jesus wants to save Captain Robau...but Robau has already been saved by Sauropod Buddha.

 

[DaveyNY]

If Captain Robau were here their would probably be a pile of ash where all the cannon fanatics used to be.

OTOH...

Since Captain Robau is sooo Bad-Ass...

(and dwells in the ERA of Pre-TOS)...

It's just as likely that He is a Classic Trek Purist, in which case, JJ & Co would be the pile of smoldering ash!

>snicker<

 

[Hartzilla2007]

When the universe faces its darkest hour Captain Robau will return and burn everthing to the groundeverthing to the ground.

 

[Herkimer Jitty]

If Captain Robau were here their would probably be a pile of ash where all the cannon fanatics used to be.

OTOH...

Since Captain Robau is sooo Bad-Ass...

(and dwells in the ERA of Pre-TOS)...

It's just as likely that He is a Classic Trek Purist, in which case, JJ & Co would be the pile of smoldering ash!

>snicker<

Nahh. But you are right about them being dead. Their bodies are now flesh-puppets: extensions of The Badass Captain Robau's infinitley complex mind.

 

[Aragorn]

Robau burned Michael Weston.

 

[Devon]

Many don't know that Captain Robau did the official opening coin toss at Super Bowl 41 between the Colts and the Bears. However, he flipped the coin so that hard that when it eventually came back down, it split a guy's head open..... at the following Super Bowl.

By the way, you won't need any 3-D Glasses for the new Star Trek Superbowl commercial this Sunday, because Captain Robau is really going to jump out of the TV screen and kick your ass if you don't go see the movie.

 

[THE CHEBB]

Captain Robau is the reason Krypton exploded, it was blocking his sun tan.

 

[Hartzilla2007]

Captain Robau is the dominate species of the multiverse.

 

[cooleddie74]

Captain Robau doesn't just kick ass and take names. He makes the ass his personal slave and gives out new pseudonyms.

 

[Hartzilla2007]

We come from Captain Robau and we will eventually return to Captain Robau.

 

[Mr. Laser Beam]

All of Captain Robau has happened before. All of Captain Robau will happen again.

 

[Aragorn]

Robau knows what evil lurks in the hearts of men.


Right before Robau kills the bad guy or defeats the rival, for his catchy one-liner he simply says, "Catchy one-liner." Then internet nerds will debate for months on end what Robau intended to say there.

 

[Slappy The Vulcan]

Suicide bombing started because terrorists are trying to prevent Captain Robau from being born, for they have seen into the future and witnessed his badassness......and they fear it.

 

[Slappy The Vulcan]

Circuit City is going out of business soley because Captain Robau shops at best buy.

 

[number6]

When Robau takes a dump, there is a tremor in China the moment he flushes.

 

[Slappy The Vulcan]

Fruit Loops do not cut up the roof of Capt. Robau's mouth.

 

[Slappy The Vulcan]

Captain Robau is so badass he can drink milk from the carton and leave the seat up without ever getting yelled at.

I will never be that badass....WOW

 

[Hartzilla2007]

Captain Robau drinks acid instead of coffee.

 

[Ryan Thomas Riddle]

No one shits bigger than Captain Robau, not even William Shatner.

 

[Jon1701]

Captain Robau shits diamonds and other semi-precious stones.