Facts About Captain Robau

[Hartzilla2007]

Captain Robau kicks ass and chews bubblegum.

You better hope he has plenty of gum, motherfucker.

Actually I heard Captain Robau chews Klingon Skulls not Bublegum.

 

[cooleddie74]

Captain Robau has come here to kick ass and reset the timeline.

And he's ALL OUT of chronitons, bitches.

 

[Aragorn]

Even if the CIA had Robau pushing too many pencils, he could still out-arm wrestle Arnold Schwarzenegger.

 

[cooleddie74]

Captain Robau's going to sing a song for you.

And DAMMIT...you're gonna learn a thing or two.

 

[Devon]

During the swearing in of President Obama, Justice Roberts fumbled the Oath of Office after he spotted Captain Robau out of the corner of his eye. Captain Robau, of course, was one of 6 Security Agencies at Obama's Inauguration.

 

[cooleddie74]

If Captain Robau were a pizza topping, he'd be shards of glass.

 

[Plecostomus]

During the swearing in of President Obama, Justice Roberts fumbled the Oath of Office after he spotted Captain Robau out of the corner of his eye. Captain Robau, of course, was one of 6 Security Agencies at Obama's Inauguration.

The other five were there because they wanted to see Captain Robau in action.


Also: Captain Robau never runs out of nachos.

 

[Hartzilla2007]

If Captain Robau were here everyone would be praising the movie and any poster who didn't would disapear under mysterious circustances.

 

[cooleddie74]

Captain Robau and Telly Savalas once met in a subspace dimensional corridor. And the Andromeda Galaxy was born.

 

[Hartzilla2007]

Captain Robau fought Death and Death lost.

 

[cooleddie74]

Captain Robau doesn't command the Kelvin. He skullfucks it into obedient submission.

 

[Hartzilla2007]

The reason Starfleet uses Phasers that rotate the barell when you change the settings is because Captain Robau thinks its cool. You don't like it take it up with Robau assuming he lets you live that long.

 

[Squiggy]

When he found out he was getting played by Faran Tahir...Captain Robau traveled back in time to kill Tahir because Captain Robau gets played by no man.

 

[Herkimer Jitty]

When he found out he was getting played by Faran Tahir...Captain Robau traveled back in time to kill Tahir because Captain Robau gets played by no man.

Then he skinned him and wore his hide to play Tahir playing himself.

 

[Squiggy]

Playing with yourself makes the Baby Jesus cry. Robau playing with himself makes the Baby Jesus cheer.

 

[Hartzilla2007]

Captain Robau brought peace to the Middle East by scaring the crap out of all the faction leaders.

 

[cooleddie74]

Captain Robau didn't have a dog as a kid. He had a VELOCIRAPTOR.

 

[The Wormhole]

Remember when Species 8472 attacked Harry Kim? Made him scream like a little girl, and then he got that virus that ate him alive. Well, when Species 8472 attacked Captain Robau the same way. Robau responded "you dare bitch slap Robau?" What he did next is the sole reason why we've never seen Species 8472 since Voyager season 5.

 

[Hartzilla2007]

If Captain Robau were here their would probably be a pile of ash where all the cannon fanatics used to be.

 

[cooleddie74]

Captain Robau doesn't make sandwiches. He builds stacks of blood-rich, scrumptious "beat-the-shit-out-of-you" fuel.