Captain Robau makes Brad Pitt look like a burn victim.
Facts About Captain Robau
- Thread starter Herkimer Jitty
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The real reason Robert April wasn't the first captain of the Enterprise was that he looked at Captain Robau when Robau was givung the death glare and his head exploded.
Captain Robau doesn't need a cloaking device. If he doesn't want you to see him, you don't fucking see him.
Captain Robau was on the grassy knoll.
Pluto was a planet. Until it pissed Captain Robau off.
The Vulcans didn't make first contact because they detected Cochrane's warp signature. They did it because they detected Captain Robau.
Captain Robau is a trap!
That's no moon. It's Captain Robau.
Aaron McGuire
Captain Robau was on the grassy knoll.
Pluto was a planet. Until it pissed Captain Robau off.
The Vulcans didn't make first contact because they detected Cochrane's warp signature. They did it because they detected Captain Robau.
Captain Robau is a trap!
That's no moon. It's Captain Robau.
Aaron McGuire
Captain Robau was the only drummer for Spinal Tap who survived.
Okay, so biker gangs are pretty badass, right? And you'd think that in a future where motorcycles have been replaced by hoverbikes, that motorcycle gangs have been replaced by hoverbike gangs. So therefore, Captain Robau, being the badass that he is, must have a hoverbike gang.
So, when the Kelvin is under attack by the Space Octopus, and Robau realizes he must sacrifice his ship, I'm going to guess that he will head down to the shuttlebay. Once there, he will jump on his hoverbike and fly it to the Space Octopus. While en route he will let out the war wry "BADASS!" and from around the galaxy, the rest of his gang will travel from their respective locations, join Robau and destroy the Space Octopus.
Not that Captain Robau needs the help, of course. If he wanted to, he could have a simple Space Octopus taken care of by himself in five seconds. But there are times when style is priority over efficency, and what could look cooler than a badass biker gang flying on hover bikes to fight a Space Octopus?
So, when the Kelvin is under attack by the Space Octopus, and Robau realizes he must sacrifice his ship, I'm going to guess that he will head down to the shuttlebay. Once there, he will jump on his hoverbike and fly it to the Space Octopus. While en route he will let out the war wry "BADASS!" and from around the galaxy, the rest of his gang will travel from their respective locations, join Robau and destroy the Space Octopus.
Not that Captain Robau needs the help, of course. If he wanted to, he could have a simple Space Octopus taken care of by himself in five seconds. But there are times when style is priority over efficency, and what could look cooler than a badass biker gang flying on hover bikes to fight a Space Octopus?
Captain Robau dosen't need a badass hoverbiker gang. He's his own hoverbiker gang.
Captain Robau can stop time.
There may be an infinite number of universes, but Capatin Robau is excatly the same in all of them, and that's because he doesn't allow his subatomic particles to act with uncertainty...
...oh. my. God...with that post I think I just channeled Leonard or Sheldon from the TV show Big Bang Theory.
Damn, I can truly be a real nerd sometimes.
...oh. my. God...with that post I think I just channeled Leonard or Sheldon from the TV show Big Bang Theory.
Damn, I can truly be a real nerd sometimes.
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Captain Robau didn't just invent the Heisenberg Compensator, he is the Heisenberg Compensator.
Captain Robau can outrun the Flash.
Captain Robau is so cool, he stores cold cuts and dairy products in his pants.
Captain Robau is your father
Captain Robau knows how many licks it takes to get to the tootsie roll center of a tootsie pop...But he's not telling anyone.
Captain Robau:
- developed the grain "quadrotriticale".
- created the story on which the "Cheshire Cat" was based.
- invented "scotch".
- made up the old Earth saying "fool me once, shame on you; fool me twice, shame on me."
- created the fairy tale "Cinderalla".
- was the first to map the area surrounding Sherman's Planet.
...and he did all of these things while he was the tsar of all the Russias.
- developed the grain "quadrotriticale".
- created the story on which the "Cheshire Cat" was based.
- invented "scotch".
- made up the old Earth saying "fool me once, shame on you; fool me twice, shame on me."
- created the fairy tale "Cinderalla".
- was the first to map the area surrounding Sherman's Planet.
...and he did all of these things while he was the tsar of all the Russias.
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