Captain Robau once deflected a disruptor blast with his teeth.
Facts About Captain Robau
- Thread starter Herkimer Jitty
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A transporter accident once split Badass Captain Robau into two people -- one was "bad" and one was an "ass".
Santa Claus can travel around the world in one night thanks to a sled led by reindeer. Captain Robau can get around the world in an hour without a sled or reindeer. And the only reason it takes him an hour is because he likes to enjoy the experience.
Captain Robau isn't just a Hair Club client. He's the fucking Emperor.
Captain Robau shits gold and farts rainbows, also his farts smell like freshly cut roses....
Captain Robau once forced a college football player to drink his urine, the football player one the game single handedly for his college, so they watered the urine down, we now call it gatorade.
Captain Robau once forced a college football player to drink his urine, the football player one the game single handedly for his college, so they watered the urine down, we now call it gatorade.
Captain Robau always shoots first. Even in Special Editions.
Captain Robau can not be rebooted or reimagined.
He is the only constant in every timeline or universe.
Captain Robau is the only one in the entire universe who can travel Warp 10 & beyond without devolving into a lizard
He is the only constant in every timeline or universe.
Captain Robau is the only one in the entire universe who can travel Warp 10 & beyond without devolving into a lizard
He does, however, wear a goatee in some of them, but that doesn't mean he's evil -- it's just because he feels like it. Hell, sometimes he wears two.
Unfortunately, no one can be told who Captain Robau is.
You have to see him for yourself, Neo.
You have to see him for yourself, Neo.
Captain Robau is the only person Godzilla had to ask permission to level a city from. Interestingly enough Robau could only get a crapy hotel room in Tokyo and as such is the only city Robau usually lets Godzilla destroy. The lesson here don't give captain Robau a bad hotel room ot he will have Godzilla crush you.
Captain Robau once got in a fight with a dinosaur.
That's why they're all extinct.
That's why they're all extinct.
Captain Robau once used a live rattle snake as a condom.
His poop is considered currency in Argentina.
Did I ever tell you about the time Captain Robau took me out to go get a drink with him? We go off looking for a bar and we can't find one. Finally Captain Robau takes me to a vacant lot and says, 'Here we are.' We sat there for a year and a half — until sure enough, someone constructs a bar around us. Well, the day they opened we ordered a shot, drank it, and then burned the place to the ground. Captain RObau yelled over the roar of the flames, 'Always leave things the way you found 'em!
Did I ever tell you about the time Captain Robau taught his son how to drive? He did it by entering him in the Indy 500. The kid wrecked and died. Captain Robau said it would've happened sometime.
Captain Robau once punched a hole in a cow just to see who was coming up the road.
I once saw him scissor kick Westley Crusher.
Captain Robau's family crest is a picture of a barracuda eating Neil Armstrong.
We once had a bachelor party for Captain Robau. He ate the entire cake before we could tell him there was a stripper in it.
Did I ever tell you about the time Captain Robau went hunting? He decides he's going to hunt down all four of the Banana Splits. He stalks and kills every one of them with a machete. They all begged for their lives...except Fleegle.
Badass.
His poop is considered currency in Argentina.
Did I ever tell you about the time Captain Robau took me out to go get a drink with him? We go off looking for a bar and we can't find one. Finally Captain Robau takes me to a vacant lot and says, 'Here we are.' We sat there for a year and a half — until sure enough, someone constructs a bar around us. Well, the day they opened we ordered a shot, drank it, and then burned the place to the ground. Captain RObau yelled over the roar of the flames, 'Always leave things the way you found 'em!
Did I ever tell you about the time Captain Robau taught his son how to drive? He did it by entering him in the Indy 500. The kid wrecked and died. Captain Robau said it would've happened sometime.
Captain Robau once punched a hole in a cow just to see who was coming up the road.
I once saw him scissor kick Westley Crusher.
Captain Robau's family crest is a picture of a barracuda eating Neil Armstrong.
We once had a bachelor party for Captain Robau. He ate the entire cake before we could tell him there was a stripper in it.
Did I ever tell you about the time Captain Robau went hunting? He decides he's going to hunt down all four of the Banana Splits. He stalks and kills every one of them with a machete. They all begged for their lives...except Fleegle.
Badass.
Captain Robau doesn't come during sex.
He ARRIVES with a trumpet flourish.
He ARRIVES with a trumpet flourish.
After a long day of Badassery, Captain Robau finds a glass of Alien blood to be quite refreshing.
The Predators created their camouflage to hide from Captain Robau
Skynet sent a Terminator back in time to kill Captain Robau. It took one look at Robau and went after Sarah Conner instead.
The Predators created their camouflage to hide from Captain Robau
Skynet sent a Terminator back in time to kill Captain Robau. It took one look at Robau and went after Sarah Conner instead.
Captain Robau once peed on a flower and it turned into a mighty oak.
Captain Robau read this thread and doesn't understand the humor in understatement.
God created man in his own image. Robau created God in his.
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