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Facts About Captain Robau

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How badass is Captain Robau? So badass even Captain Robau can only wish he were Captain Robau.
 
Sylar tried to take Captain Robau's powers, but once Robau glared at him, Sylar sliced his own head open in fear.
 
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If Captain Robau were in Nemesis, he would have jumped from the Enterprise to the Scimitar (like Data did), destroy the Scimitar, and jump back to the Enterprise. He's too badass to die.

Thats not what would happen all Captain Robau would had to do was look at the Scimitar from the bridge and it would explode.
 
Captain Robau is so badass he doesn't even need an ass.

He's too awesome for defecation.
 
Captain Robau's graduation speech at the Academy included multiple uses of the phrase "I'm cooler than any of you will ever be."
 
Jack Bauer obtains information by threatening to torture. Captain Robau obtains information by threatening to threaten to torture.
 
Jack Bauer obtains information by threatening to torture. Captain Robau obtains information by threatening to threaten to torture.

Captain Robau can kill Jack Bauer with his mind. The is why Jack Bauer stayes the hell away from Captain Robau.
 
Captain Robau declared that this movie is the NEW canon and it was so.


Captain Robau also commands you to drink sweetened condensed milk direct from the CAN and you WILL enjoy it!
 
Captain Robau does not frequent internet message boards anymore because the last time it happened he literally reached through his computer and strangled the stupid fanboy at the other end.
 
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