Facts About Captain Robau

[Hartzilla2007]

Robert April wasn't erased because of a reboot Captain Robau just likes Pike more.

 

[Outpost4]

Captain Robau gets a tough guy like Mike Tyson to talk in a baby voice...no, wait...

 

[Hartzilla2007]

The Autobot Matrix really contains the essence of Captain Robau.

 

[Tom Servo]

The reason the Enterprise was re-designed, was so it could keep up with the badassness of Captain Robau. It can't.

 

[Mr. Laser Beam]

^ Captain Robau can out-hit Manny Ramirez.

 

[Hartzilla2007]

If Captain Robau were captain of Voyager the Caretaker array would have been destroyed and the ship would have gotten home in five seconds because he would have willed it so.

 

[Mr. Laser Beam]

The Autobot Matrix really contains the essence of Captain Robau.

At the end of this day, one shall stand (Captain Robau) and one shall fall (everyone else).

Captain Robau is the right of all sentient beings.

 

[Herkimer Jitty]

The destruction of the Kelvin threw Captain Robau through a time vortex, depositing him on Earth in the past. He became a poet and had his name legally changed to Alfred Lord Tennyson.

 

[M'Sharak]

Canon to right of them,
Canon to left of them,
Canon in front of them
Volley'd & thunder'd;
Storm'd at with shot and shell,
Badass'dly they rode and well,
Into the jaws of Death,
Into the mouth of Hell
Rode the six forty-seven...

 

[Outpost4]

Captain Robau has ordered hair not to grow on his head.

 

[Hartzilla2007]

Captain Robau can fly the Kelvin only using his mind.

 

[cooleddie74]

Captain Robau once cured the Super AIDS using a strand of his own chest hair and Vulcan tears.

 

[Rat Boy]

Captain Robau can kill two stones with one bird.

 

[Nerys Myk]

John Rambo lives in fear that Captain Robau will discover his jungle hiding place.

 

[Thomas Riker]

Ever seen Captain Robau's Boots ..... They're made from a pair of Gorn he single handly bitch slapped on Cestus III.

 

[cooleddie74]

Captain Robau can never die and go to hell...because then the Devil would have to be sent packing and find a new line of work.

 

[Broccoli]

These are hilarious.

One embarrassing question: How do you pronounce "Robau"?

 

[Woulfe]

Captain Robau is so badass that Spock has to SHOUT just to be heard over how Badass Robau is.

Captain Robau is so badass that the word badass has been replaced by the word Robau.

Robau (noun) 1. Badder the Leroy Brown, Baddest man in the whole dang galaxy, Badder then ol' King Kong, meaner then a junkyard dog.
2. Badass of the universe. Can make men turn into jellyfish and Women swoon just with a single look.
3. Useage. I'm so badass i'm Robau. I'm not nearly as Robau as you are. And so on.
See Also : Robauing

 

[xanderwess]

When Capt. Robau was born, the only one in the room crying was the Doctor. Never slap Capt. Robau.

 

[Herkimer Jitty]

The only reason Kirk was scared of the Gorn on Cestus III was because Captain Robau once dressed up as one for Halloween.