Facts About Captain Robau

[CaptainWacky]

I wrote a Kelvin fanfic featuring Robau in which he's SO AWESOME that no one on this board could face even reading the thread let alone replying to it.
http://www.trekbbs.com/showthread.php?t=84405

 

[M'Sharak]

^ I just read the first section -- off to a good start. I'll try to get back and read some more later.

 

[Aragorn]

Captain Robau has six illlegitimate sons -- their names are Jack Bauer, John McClane, Bruce Wayne, John Rambo, Chuck Norris and T-800.

 

[Hartzilla2007]

The only reason the Kelvin is destroyed is that Robau had to use the head which has to be 1,000,000 light years from the ship for safety reasons and thus he wasn't around to will the ship industructable.

 

[goran'agar]

Robau fails at everything he does.

Captain Robau is so badass that the only thing he fails at is failure itself

 

[Herkimer Jitty]

The reason Captain Kirk is so awesome is because Captain Robau is his real biological father.

 

[LutherSloan]

Robau is so bad-ass he doesn't even feel like living anymore!

 

[starburst]

A little known fact is that before the first reboot the Captain of the Enterprise was one James "Robau" Kirk...Garry Mitchell was right!

 

[Hartzilla2007]

Vulcan doesn't implode due to Nero's tampering, it implodes because Robau left his Kirby running.

Actually Vulcan implodes because Robau farted and it collapsed into a blackhole.

 

[Plecostomus]

Captain Robau works in an auto-parts store on the weekend.

 

[Hartzilla2007]

Captain Robau can fight Superman, Doctor Manhattan, and Galactus by him self with one hand and both feet tied behind his back and STILL win in only .0000006 seconds.

 

[pookha]

robau was the first incarnation of dr who. but his awesomeness casued the first transformation.

 

[cooleddie74]

Captain Robau Crunch will come with a free vial of testosterone in each box.

 

[The Wormhole]

Captain Robau works in an auto-parts store on the weekend.

That is so badass.

 

[Squiggy]

Daylight Saving Time was created just so the world can keep up with Robeau.

 

[Captain MAJ]

Captain Robau is a little sissy boy who wears a pink sombrebo and a tutu, and dances like a ballerina around the center chair.

 

[Hartzilla2007]

Captain Robau Crunch will come with a free vial of testosterone in each box.

And will already have testosterone frosted Kelvin and Robau Head shaped marshmellows in it.

 

[Captain MAJ]

The Genesis Planet wasn't created by the Genesis device, I was created when Captain Robau took a dump and jettisoned it into space.

 

[Hartzilla2007]

If Khan had tried to put a Ceti Eel in Robau's ear he would have kicked his ass death glared him and tourched his followers.

 

[Captain MAJ]

The Galactica isn't falling apart because she's old, she's falling apart because Robau is a Cylon and told her to die.