Facts About Captain Robau

Discussion in 'Star Trek Movies: Kelvin Universe' started by Herkimer Jitty, Dec 6, 2008.

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  1. F. King Daniel

    F. King Daniel Fleet Admiral Admiral

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    ^The Nexus is a just a big wad of Robau spooge he knocked out one day.
     
  2. 6079SmithW

    6079SmithW Vice Admiral Admiral

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    ^And the Universe swallowed it.
     
  3. cooleddie74

    cooleddie74 Arguably The Best Poster Named cooleddie Moderator

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    Robau's imagination IS the nexus. And that's on one of his lazy and slow days.
     
  4. Skellington

    Skellington Part-time poltergeist Rear Admiral

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    Robau's facts-per-minute-of-screentime ratio is most impressive.
     
  5. 6079SmithW

    6079SmithW Vice Admiral Admiral

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    Robau is actually present in every frame of the movie. We don't see him in most of the frames because in those he is in a higher plane of existence.
     
  6. F. King Daniel

    F. King Daniel Fleet Admiral Admiral

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    Robau is at warp 10 and is thus occupying every point in the universe simultaniously. Captain Robau has no fear of turning into a lizard, because that would just be silly.
     
  7. Skellington

    Skellington Part-time poltergeist Rear Admiral

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    The unit of awesomeness is the Robau.
     
  8. Mr. Laser Beam

    Mr. Laser Beam Fleet Admiral Admiral

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    First came the Infinite Improbability Drive.

    Then came the Bistromathic Drive.

    The ultimate would be the Robau Drive. Which wouldn't need an engine room, or even a spaceship. Just one of Robau's eyebrow movements.
     
  9. Destructor

    Destructor Commodore Commodore

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    Scientists once tried to calculate Robau's awesomeness but after several years of research and quite a few suicides they declared that it was impossible for both Robau and awareness of Robau's awesomeness to exist in the same universe at the same time.
     
  10. Mr. Laser Beam

    Mr. Laser Beam Fleet Admiral Admiral

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    ^ Thus became known the Heisenbadass Certainty Principle.
     
  11. Rush Limborg

    Rush Limborg Vice Admiral Admiral

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    ^Which Robau violates on a regular basis.
     
  12. cooleddie74

    cooleddie74 Arguably The Best Poster Named cooleddie Moderator

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    Each of Robau's scalp follicles has the potential to grow an entire micro-universe of its own.
     
  13. 6079SmithW

    6079SmithW Vice Admiral Admiral

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    Robau will un-cancel Caprica by starring in it as God which, for all intents and purposes, is the same thing as starring as himself.
     
  14. cooleddie74

    cooleddie74 Arguably The Best Poster Named cooleddie Moderator

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    On the fourth day, Robau created 'shipping.
     
  15. 6079SmithW

    6079SmithW Vice Admiral Admiral

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    On the fifth day he created memes and thread bombs on the sixth.
     
  16. Hartzilla2007

    Hartzilla2007 Vice Admiral Admiral

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    On the seventh he created fail just to see what it was like an to punish the nonbelievers.
     
  17. 6079SmithW

    6079SmithW Vice Admiral Admiral

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    On the eighth he created win so we could get a slight taste of his awesomeness.
     
  18. cooleddie74

    cooleddie74 Arguably The Best Poster Named cooleddie Moderator

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    And then he rested...so he could do all the badassness ALL OVER AGAIN.
     
  19. 6079SmithW

    6079SmithW Vice Admiral Admiral

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    All this badassness has happened before and will happen again.- The Cycle of Robau's Badassness
     
  20. cooleddie74

    cooleddie74 Arguably The Best Poster Named cooleddie Moderator

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    Robau never finishes anything. Because that would imply that there is an end to all his mighty works.
     
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