Facts About Captain Robau
- Thread starter Herkimer Jitty
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"Pulling a Robau": The act of getting back at someone, something, or a group of beings who are seriously pissing you off by reversing the expansion of the universe and condensing it to a single mathematical point, thereby nullifying the existence of everything in it and then starting over from scratch by inducing another big bang.
Note* Only Captain Robau can pull this off.
Note* Only Captain Robau can pull this off.
Robau won 109 medals at the 2232 Olympics. All in one single sport. And on the same day.
At the exact same time.
Robau can watch "Grave of The Fireflies" without crying.
Robau can watch "Grave of The Fireflies" without crying.
Any movie can be made 10 times more badass than it is by including Captain Robau in a one minute cameo. Robau turns crap movies into awesome movies.
And yet Robau's fierce, determined stoicism in the face of such tragedy will make everyone else cry.
Clip: Jack Bauer watching Robau watching the movie.
Robau's time-traveling burp was the so-called "nuclear bomb" that Jack Bauer once saw detonate at the beginning of the 21st century.
Cock fights. Robau doesn't go. He wins them all.
The opening of ST XI had the Kelvin being pwned and Captain Robau getting killed only to placate the Romulans in the audience. What actually happened when the Narada came through the lightning storm and Nero saw the Kelvin was:
Nero: Oh, Shit! That's Captain Robau's ship! Turn us around quickly. Maybe we can escape by going back through this thing.
As the Narada attempted to flee back through the lightning storm, Robau leapt through the bridge window and flew across space Data-in-Nemesis style, latched onto the Narada's hull and began punching his way through.
The Romulans started running around in panic in a vain attempt to escape, the sound of Robau pounding on the hull with his fists driving them mad. Suddenly, Robau was standing before them, stoic and calm. An erie quiet settled over the ship as the Romulans all stared blankly at the sight of Robau, their minds numbed at the knowledge of their imminent demise.
What happened next is why the real sequence of events can never be shown to the public...
Nero: Oh, Shit! That's Captain Robau's ship! Turn us around quickly. Maybe we can escape by going back through this thing.
As the Narada attempted to flee back through the lightning storm, Robau leapt through the bridge window and flew across space Data-in-Nemesis style, latched onto the Narada's hull and began punching his way through.
The Romulans started running around in panic in a vain attempt to escape, the sound of Robau pounding on the hull with his fists driving them mad. Suddenly, Robau was standing before them, stoic and calm. An erie quiet settled over the ship as the Romulans all stared blankly at the sight of Robau, their minds numbed at the knowledge of their imminent demise.
What happened next is why the real sequence of events can never be shown to the public...
The Crab Nebula?
A Robau smoke ring.
A Robau smoke ring.
Saturn's rings? You can guess where they go on Robau.
Captain Robau keeps his porn in the Ark of the Covenant
This is what happens to the poor bastards who try to view Robau's porn
[yt]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BT43tSRi6po&feature=related[/yt]
This is what happens to the poor bastards who try to view Robau's porn
[yt]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BT43tSRi6po&feature=related[/yt]
Captain Robau keeps his porn in the Ark of the Covenant
This is what happens to the poor bastards who try to view Robau's porn
[yt]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BT43tSRi6po&feature=related[/yt]
This is what happens to the poor bastards who try to view Robau's porn
[yt]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BT43tSRi6po&feature=related[/yt]
Shit, that is some badass Robau porn. I shudder to imagine what his orgasms must be like.
"Don't look at it." Indiana Jones is a very wise man.
"Don't look at it." Indiana Jones is a very wise man.
Robau liked Saturn so much he put a ring on it.
But he hated Pluto so much that he demoted it.
Ah, that explains it. See, the reason Porthos never re-materialized is that he was never transported to begin with. Scotty placed Porthos on the transporter pad and then Robau ran by so fast that no one saw him swallow Porthos whole in one motion without slowing down, thereby giving the illusion that Porthos had indeed been transported.
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