Facts About Captain Robau
- Thread starter Herkimer Jitty
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Awesome.
Well, guess I'm an internet celebrity now. Sorry guys, but I'm to cool to hang out with any of you anymore.
But if you want my autograph, or a chance to gush with your favorite online celeb, I'll be a special guest at the next San Diego Comic Con International.
I live about two hours north of you. I'll drive down and camp on your front lawn.Awesome.
Well, guess I'm an internet celebrity now. Sorry guys, but I'm too cool to hang out with any of you anymore.
But if you want my autograph, or a chance to gush with your favorite online celeb, I'll be a special guest at the next San Diego Comic Con International.
Freaking sweet, one of my facts made the list.Awesome.
Too bad it was when we were using our Christmas names, though I think in my case it's probably better that one was used instead of my regular one.
I think that the name Captain Robau is a red herring.
We'll find out the character is really Robert April and his death on the Kelvin is why Pike's the first one to get the Enterprise. It's always politics. Dead people seldom have anyone stand up for their rights. See? You don't even see a problem with a dead person being denied command of a new ship.
Typical. How typical.
We'll find out the character is really Robert April and his death on the Kelvin is why Pike's the first one to get the Enterprise. It's always politics. Dead people seldom have anyone stand up for their rights. See? You don't even see a problem with a dead person being denied command of a new ship.
Typical. How typical.
^yes, alright, Reg Shoe.
Captain Robau is so badass, he could command a ship from beyond the grave.
Captain Robau is so badass, he could command a ship from beyond the grave.
Captain Robau uses a live rattlesnake as a condom.
The Death Star didn't destroy Alderaan. Captain Robau jumped out of a shuttlecraft and punched the ground.
When Captain Robau donates blood, he declines the syringe and instead asks for a handgun and a bucket.
You can ace the Starfleet Academy entrance exam by answering "Captain Robau" to every question.
Captain Robau once ate an entire bottle of sleeping pills. It made him blink.
Scotty says "Ye canna change the laws of physics." This is untrue; Captain Robau can change the laws of physics. With his fists.
The pie scene in "American Pie" is based on a dare Captain Robau took when he was younger. However, in Captain Robau's case, the "pie" was the molten crater of an active volcano.
Captain Robau uses razor wire as toilet paper.
The Death Star didn't destroy Alderaan. Captain Robau jumped out of a shuttlecraft and punched the ground.
When Captain Robau donates blood, he declines the syringe and instead asks for a handgun and a bucket.
You can ace the Starfleet Academy entrance exam by answering "Captain Robau" to every question.
Captain Robau once ate an entire bottle of sleeping pills. It made him blink.
Scotty says "Ye canna change the laws of physics." This is untrue; Captain Robau can change the laws of physics. With his fists.
The pie scene in "American Pie" is based on a dare Captain Robau took when he was younger. However, in Captain Robau's case, the "pie" was the molten crater of an active volcano.
Captain Robau uses razor wire as toilet paper.
Nowhere Man
Commodore
Dead men tell no tales
After Captain Robau's death from boredom in the 2009th century his body was cremated and spread throughout the universe by his enemies to keep him from returning the plan failed.
Captain Robau, Chuck Norris, The Sisko and Kyle Katarn once met at a bar.
Needless to say, the entire universe was destroyed.
Needless to say, the entire universe was destroyed.
If you say Robau's name backwards it un-makes all of existance.
Except on CSI.
And Tales of the Crypt.
Captain Robau died, but whacked Death on the head with his fists and came back to life.
He now rules over the Andromedan Galaxy which is the real reason the Kelvins left.
The Kelvans were named after the USS Kelvin.
When Robau was told that the Kelvans 1) lived thousands of years earlier, and 2) are spelled differently, Robau hit them with a blast of pure Badass and knocked them flat. Robau is above all contradictions.
Robau cased a reverse Big Bang one day when he farted.
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