Yes but Captain Robau likes to keep minions around to do his shit for him.
Facts About Captain Robau
- Thread starter Herkimer Jitty
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Yes but Captain Robau likes to keep minions around to do his shit for him.
Everyone thinks "you know who" is Voldemort, actually it's Captain Robau.
He senses a disturbance in the Facts thread. As if a million posts suddenly cried out in insufficient badassness...and were suddenly deleted.
Robau is just that badass, he can even delete the very posts supporting his badassery...WITHOUT BECOMING ANY LESS BADASS BY DOING SO. In fact, it makes him MORE badass.
Badassness by Telepathy from Parsecs Away.
So kewl...it defies description.
So kewl...it defies description.
Captain Robau does the Kessel Run ever day. It's his morning jog. He listens to his iPod.
Robau could do the Kessel Run with just one stream of his own urine. And still win.
Captain Robau eats toast for breakfast.
Not his toast.
Your toast.
Not his toast.
Your toast.
And my toaster, too.
Captain Robau sings in the shower every morning.
It always wins him a Grammy.
It always wins him a Grammy.
And other singers' Grammys too.
Robau is why Logan ran.
Robau is whom the bell tolls for.
Captain Robau loves Cheez-Its.
Get your own box, motherfuckers.
Get your own box, motherfuckers.
Captain Robau can never lay a finger on his own badass Butterfinger.
Robau is made of the stuff that dreams are made of.
and nightmares too while we're at it.
And my toaster, too.
Captain Robau killed Talkie Toaster, because it should be obvious that Robau wants toast.
You can't handle the truth! Son, we live in a world that has walls. And those walls have to be guarded by Robau. Who's gonna do it? You? Robau has a greater responsibility than you can possibly fathom. You weep for Robau and you curse the Robau. You have that luxury. You have the luxury of not knowing what I know: that Robau, while tragic, probably saves lives. And Robau's existence, while grotesque and incomprehensible to you, saves lives...You don't want the truth. Because deep down, in places you don't talk about at parties, you want Robau on that wall. You need Robau on that wall.
Klingons use words like honor, code, loyalty...they use these words as the backbone to a life spent defending something. Robau uses them as a punchline. Robau has neither the time nor the inclination to explain himself to a man who rises and sleeps under the blanket of the very freedom he provides, then questions the manner in which he provides it! Robau would rather you just said 'thank you' and went on your way. Otherwise, Robau suggests you pick up a weapon and stand a post. Either way, Robau does not give one god damn what you think you are entitled to!
Klingons use words like honor, code, loyalty...they use these words as the backbone to a life spent defending something. Robau uses them as a punchline. Robau has neither the time nor the inclination to explain himself to a man who rises and sleeps under the blanket of the very freedom he provides, then questions the manner in which he provides it! Robau would rather you just said 'thank you' and went on your way. Otherwise, Robau suggests you pick up a weapon and stand a post. Either way, Robau does not give one god damn what you think you are entitled to!
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