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Facts About Captain Robau

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Captain Robau is the life of the party with his ventriloquism act- Robau sticks each arm up a Klingon's and Romulan's arse, moving their mouths with his hands.

The Romulan tells jokes while the Klingon sings opera, at the same time, while Robau drinks Romulan ale.
 
And the result?

A black hole in his nasal cavity from which no boogers can escape. Hence...no need for tissues.
 
And no need for toilet paper either cuz he has a bad ass. Get it? He's badass...he has a bad ass...ok, maybe not. I'll go google for something else, hold on.
 
I humbly thank the almighty Robau for his unending forgiveness. Let's pray together again:
Our Robau, who art in Star Trek
Hallowed be thy name
Thy starship come
Thy will be done
On earth as it is in the Galaxy
Give us this day our daily thread
And forgive us our trespasses
as we forgive those who prefer Star Wars
And lead us not into Orions
But deliver us from Canon
Amen
 
Regarding that prayer, the only Orions Robau shall lead us into are the green and erotic kind, provided there is also good beer and pizza stocked within the same enclosure.
 
Robau eats Crunch Berries for the berries. And because Capn Crunch owes him a shitload of favors.
 
And on the third day, Robau created badassness. And all the creatures of the earth learned how to sneer and mack on the females of their kind.
 
Yeah, though I fly through the Neutral Zone of the shadow of death,
Robau art with me.

Thy phaser and thy photons comfort me.

Thou prepare a table for me in the presence of Romulans

My cup runneth over with blue ale.
 
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