ENT Caption Competition #108: Shadows of P'jamas

[Nebusj]

Hi, all.

I want to try something a little new, a little different, a little out-there compared to the normal pleasant goings-on in these parts. First of all I figure on awarding prizes to these people who captioned the last thread, which began sometime in early 1998, before Enterprise was even on the air. Please join me then in congratulations for these insights.



The Valentine To The Fans prize for Most Dramatically Satisfying Follow-Up Episode goes to ....

Viidian #1: According to the database we took from the death ship, the ancestors of this woman had a terrible genetic viral endemic. The cure Klingons eventually found is in the fifth chromosome of Torres' genome. It holds the answer to the cure for the phage.

Viidian #2: Enlightening.... We will go back to the lab where we shall begin the procedure. Computer, end program"

*the NX-01 sickbay* disappears...giving away to an alien looking holodeck, with two horribly disfigured Viidians exiting.

Reminding us how much better the fans know the characters than the writers do this week is ...

Tactical Officer's Log: Somehow I convinced T'Pol and Hoshi that the way out of our problems was randomly shooting the torpedoes. Turns out it might help, but I just wanted an excuse to fire the torpedoes.

Filed Under ``Also I Can't Change From 'Kill' Back To 'Stun' Without That Allen Wrench'' ...

REED: And that's how I put together an IKEA entertainment center in under an hour!

Winning the ``Is There Such A Thing As An Undeserved Reputation'' trophy is ...

Phlox: I recommend that you keep Commander Tucker away from my patient. I have yet to determine if she can cause him to become pregnant.

Taking home a trophy for Just Being Right is ...

"You know...the difference between me...and you petaQs?....I...make this look GOOD."

(dies)

The Renaissance Festival Reenactor special turkey leg dinner goes to ...

PHLOX: Best I can figure, he's involved in some sort of Game of Thrones cosplay.

And winning the ``I Secretly Hoped Someone Was Going To Give Me This'' medallion ...

"WHEEEEEEEEEE!!!!"

For the prestigious Joint Award For Photoshop And My Goodness But What If There Are Children Reading This Group giggle:

Reed: And as you can see I don't need the sub-commander to give me a blowjob.

Now with that out of the way, I'd like to put up a set of eight or thereabouts pictures from the next episode of Enterprise's first season, ``The Shadows Of P'Jem''. I admit I processed these a little bit for size and to make them not so dark and ... um ... shadowy.

And finally I'd like to thank everyone for reading and for contributing to these threads, and to wish them luck in finding something amusing about all this.

But I don't know. The plan seems all kind of attention-grabby to me. Well, we'll see what comes of it.

Joseph Nebus

 

[Hutchy01]

Archer: Well Phlox I tested your theory ... and the subcommander may now need a 'Night in Sickbay'.

 

[eyeresist]

TRIP: Wow, those salt and pepper shakers are huge!

Two options:

1. (obvious) PHLOX: Open wide, here comes the choo-choo train!

2. (scurrilous) PHLOX: Commander Trip's, er, endowments somewhat resemble this limp piece of celery. I hope this satisfies your "scientific" curiosity.

And continuing on that theme:

ARCHER: Is this really how your people mate? It doesn't feel right to me.

SHRAN: Perhaps pressing this button will make this episode a little less gloomy. No, that turned off another light. Now I can't see a thing!

 

[Finn]

Thanks for the win

Riker: (OS) I would have loved the drapes on the D. I'd visit sickbay when Deanna has her annual checkup.

 

[T'Ressa Dax]

Archer: Never thought all that time watching Porthos eat would pay off. Though this tastes worse than dog food looks.

 

[tharpdevenport]

When sharing a cell with Lt. David Hasselhoff and are hungry, it's vital to get to the food first, as he's already on the floor trying to eat.

 

[LeadHead]

Thanks for the wins!

Reed: (over comm) Bridge to Captain Archer, the Suliban ship is hailing.

Archer: I'll call them back, no one interrupts breakfast!

Phlox: You need more of these in your diet.

T'Pol: Then perhaps you could refrain from taking them off my plate.

Captain's Starlog Supplemental Random Aircraft piloted by amateurs are apparently a lot tougher than I thought. On the plus side, Coridan looks amazing when you're crashing into it at high speed.

Alien: (offscreen) Don't you have anything to say, Vulcan?

T'Pol: Yes, I request a new cellmate.

T'Pol: Illogical, these people are still using fluorescent lighting.

T'Pol: That appears undignified, Captain.

Archer: I thought Vulcans didn't touch food with their hands.

T'Pol: Touche, Captain.

Shran: First, we disable their Wi-Fi, then splice into their cable, then we-

Archer: Shran, I'd like to take my wounded Science officer to sickbay, just open the door!

Shran: Fine, (under his breath) Not telling you their HBO Go password.

Captain's Starlog Supplemental The Vulcans have decided to allow T'Pol to remain on Enterprise in light of her actions on Coridan, saving a superior officer. I hope she receives the appreciation she deserves.

Vulcan High Command Personnel Update: Subcommander T'Pol has been allowed to remain on the Human Starship, Enterprise. There is no change in her status, however once it was realized the Captain Archer would never stop pestering us if T'Pol was recalled, the logical course of action was to make him T'Pol's problem.

 

[T'Girl]

Captain's Log, thursday,

T'Pol might be clinically brain dead, but other parts of her body are very much alive.
+

 

[Hutchy01]

Nebusj Shran: Welcome to the NSFW Enterprise caption contest!

 

[Finn]

Coombs: Which one am I today? Weyoun?
Braga: Shran
Coombs: Thanks. I hadn't had my coffee today.

 

[Nerys Myk]

ARCHER: True love's kiss? Tough order, everyone hates her.

 

[weiserthanyou]

And nobody realized that it was actually a 29th century bird-of-temporal-prey, sent back in time to make a J.J. Abrams reboot of Enterprise. However, the clouds protected the universe from an enormous lens flare sent to change the timeline.

 

[Finn]

Captain's Log: It has been a long day. Leaping around in the 1960s and 1970s, working for Murphy Brown, and being a cop that cooks and runs a bar in New Orleans. I think Daniels is getting in trouble with his superiors.

 

[HMS Ark Royal]

"Vorta incubation chamber - wonder what a 'Vorta' is..."

 

[Nerys Myk]

SHRAN: Ooooh, an ice cream maker! Perhaps the pinkskins aren't such primitives after all.

 

[Avro Arrow]

Phlox: ... and Archer was all like, "but we don't use money anymore". But I stuck to my guns, and I demanded that they pay me a regular celery!

T'Pol: I think you may want to resume your English lessons with Ensign Sato.

 

[Nerys Myk]

PHLOX: You're a Vulcan! Eating vegetables is pretty much it!

 

[Nebusj]

The new thread is up!