at last night's tennis final.
DS9 Five world thingy...
- Thread starter RobertScorpio
- Start date
" You damned yank blaggard" shouted
Rom, surprising everyone. "You're British?"
" But of course" he said
"and Nog is French". Nog
Story thus far:
Captain Sisko walked down the corridor toward the Promenade. He looked towards Quark's bar and had not eaten any food since dinner. He ordered a technician to bring him sandwiches, but only if they had lettuce. Finding no vegetables, he decided he instead wanted a tasty lizard-brain stew served raw. Shockingly, Quark had thrown Morn, together with all his shoes, off of the highest table. Odo walked in and declared Morn-tossing an illegal yet very fun activity, however Morn himself disputed the "fun" aspect and launched into a musical number highlighting his plight which became a hit on
Ferenginar.
Quark was jealous, as he had recently signed a contract giving sole ownership of life the universe and everything to Morn, and now this. "QUARK" roared Sisko, as he still hadn't been fed.
"Outrageous!" muttered Gul Dukat sitting at the bar and watching as seven Romulans played poker and failed to match Cardassian expertise by doing silly stuff with the cards: a cunning, deceptive method of playing the game.
Sisko interrupted Dukat then, demanding to know what he had had for lunch. "I want
what you ate," Sisko said.
To which, Dukat replied you would not like what I ate."
"Was it a bottle of 2047 kanar?" he belched, rubbed his forehead then grinned winningly at the Cardassian who rolled his eyes, sighed, and said to the impatient Ferengi wait person "I want your most beautiful Dabo girl to chuck Sisko out of an airlock."
Quark said, "By the way can I eat his lunch?"
"I still haven't licked a grub worm's smelly excretions" moaned Bashir.
Aghast, Sisko began to scream while rolling across the floor in shocking disregard of the sensibilities of a man his mature age.
Meanwhile, in Ops, Kira ran a cosmetics party, demonstrating the supreme superiority of her favoured religion, the church of the Orange Squiggly Piggly lemon believers. The despised apostate of Lemon-ianity, Weyoun Five, had said publicly that the true meaning of Lemonmas was violent crusade (and furthermore would result in the utter destruction of any world that stood in the way and did not worship nude Vorta). Kai Winn disagreed, insisting that her values and ideas would revolutionize the faith. Kira punched the annoying kai in defiance of this unacceptable challenge to keep buckets of tiny lemons in Bajoran temples. Enraged, Kai Winn declared that someone better be making afternoon tea!!
Disturbingly, status reports indicated that there was a ghost in Sisko's toilet, and when the
captain saw it he said "Tea's cancelled, Kai Winn, because there's a ghost in here and we must evacuate".
They responded with resigned indignation, resulting in Sisko' sudden desire to leave without them. Nevertheless, they found a bottle of rum that could fly them off just as good rum does. Everyone climbed aboard, and left Quark wondering what to do about this new development. He laughed uproariously and poured himself some grub worm juice and claimed the station in the shape that it was in and sold it on eBay.
While strolling down the corridor Odo and Dax heard a strange noise that seemed to
indicate someone else was still aboard the station. Jake Sisko turned on the lights inside
and to his horror, revealed that he was really a big wet blanket, for only a true man can really tolerate Quark naked. "What?" said Bashir as he looked at Quark.
"I thought you left." Bashir said as Quark cried "there, there, we came back."
Suddenly a horta came through the floor, derailing the conversation. "Quark," Bashir yelled, "You must surrender your strongest ale, or that rock beast will stick itself in the corner, refusing all forms of communication until we get it "stoned", haha".
"Well," Quark said as he poured the Horta a drink, "We certainly wouldn't want that."
The Rum returned, Sisko relieved himself in the holosuite because all the urinals on DS9 were now haunted like his. This elegant solution did not go completely without problems since Kai Winn paid the ghost to sell his story on to the Federation News Service and Sisko was portrayed in such a bad way, that angry letters condemning him arrived in mass. Ezri, clad only in her pajamas, which were purple and blue, suggested Sisko should perform a few favours while standing on one foot.
"Ezri? You were Jadzia earlier"
"Yeah, and a bartender too."
Frightened at the changes, O'Brien signed a treaty with the ballet dancers of Googleworld Five, stipulating that (in accordance with prior decrees from the Dancelord, there would be da rhythm) O'Brien would provide them with enough Irish whiskey to drown Morn and possibly Quark too.
Just then a fleet of Napoleonic-era warships sailed past and fired a punishing broadside
volley at Sisko, to avenge the defeat of the British at last night's tennis final.
"You damned yank blaggard" shouted Rom, surprising everyone.
"You're British?"
" But of course" he said "and Nog is French".
Nog said, "Oui. Je suis francais."
Captain Sisko walked down the corridor toward the Promenade. He looked towards Quark's bar and had not eaten any food since dinner. He ordered a technician to bring him sandwiches, but only if they had lettuce. Finding no vegetables, he decided he instead wanted a tasty lizard-brain stew served raw. Shockingly, Quark had thrown Morn, together with all his shoes, off of the highest table. Odo walked in and declared Morn-tossing an illegal yet very fun activity, however Morn himself disputed the "fun" aspect and launched into a musical number highlighting his plight which became a hit on
Ferenginar.
Quark was jealous, as he had recently signed a contract giving sole ownership of life the universe and everything to Morn, and now this. "QUARK" roared Sisko, as he still hadn't been fed.
"Outrageous!" muttered Gul Dukat sitting at the bar and watching as seven Romulans played poker and failed to match Cardassian expertise by doing silly stuff with the cards: a cunning, deceptive method of playing the game.
Sisko interrupted Dukat then, demanding to know what he had had for lunch. "I want
what you ate," Sisko said.
To which, Dukat replied you would not like what I ate."
"Was it a bottle of 2047 kanar?" he belched, rubbed his forehead then grinned winningly at the Cardassian who rolled his eyes, sighed, and said to the impatient Ferengi wait person "I want your most beautiful Dabo girl to chuck Sisko out of an airlock."
Quark said, "By the way can I eat his lunch?"
"I still haven't licked a grub worm's smelly excretions" moaned Bashir.
Aghast, Sisko began to scream while rolling across the floor in shocking disregard of the sensibilities of a man his mature age.
Meanwhile, in Ops, Kira ran a cosmetics party, demonstrating the supreme superiority of her favoured religion, the church of the Orange Squiggly Piggly lemon believers. The despised apostate of Lemon-ianity, Weyoun Five, had said publicly that the true meaning of Lemonmas was violent crusade (and furthermore would result in the utter destruction of any world that stood in the way and did not worship nude Vorta). Kai Winn disagreed, insisting that her values and ideas would revolutionize the faith. Kira punched the annoying kai in defiance of this unacceptable challenge to keep buckets of tiny lemons in Bajoran temples. Enraged, Kai Winn declared that someone better be making afternoon tea!!
Disturbingly, status reports indicated that there was a ghost in Sisko's toilet, and when the
captain saw it he said "Tea's cancelled, Kai Winn, because there's a ghost in here and we must evacuate".
They responded with resigned indignation, resulting in Sisko' sudden desire to leave without them. Nevertheless, they found a bottle of rum that could fly them off just as good rum does. Everyone climbed aboard, and left Quark wondering what to do about this new development. He laughed uproariously and poured himself some grub worm juice and claimed the station in the shape that it was in and sold it on eBay.
While strolling down the corridor Odo and Dax heard a strange noise that seemed to
indicate someone else was still aboard the station. Jake Sisko turned on the lights inside
and to his horror, revealed that he was really a big wet blanket, for only a true man can really tolerate Quark naked. "What?" said Bashir as he looked at Quark.
"I thought you left." Bashir said as Quark cried "there, there, we came back."
Suddenly a horta came through the floor, derailing the conversation. "Quark," Bashir yelled, "You must surrender your strongest ale, or that rock beast will stick itself in the corner, refusing all forms of communication until we get it "stoned", haha".
"Well," Quark said as he poured the Horta a drink, "We certainly wouldn't want that."
The Rum returned, Sisko relieved himself in the holosuite because all the urinals on DS9 were now haunted like his. This elegant solution did not go completely without problems since Kai Winn paid the ghost to sell his story on to the Federation News Service and Sisko was portrayed in such a bad way, that angry letters condemning him arrived in mass. Ezri, clad only in her pajamas, which were purple and blue, suggested Sisko should perform a few favours while standing on one foot.
"Ezri? You were Jadzia earlier"
"Yeah, and a bartender too."
Frightened at the changes, O'Brien signed a treaty with the ballet dancers of Googleworld Five, stipulating that (in accordance with prior decrees from the Dancelord, there would be da rhythm) O'Brien would provide them with enough Irish whiskey to drown Morn and possibly Quark too.
Just then a fleet of Napoleonic-era warships sailed past and fired a punishing broadside
volley at Sisko, to avenge the defeat of the British at last night's tennis final.
"You damned yank blaggard" shouted Rom, surprising everyone.
"You're British?"
" But of course" he said "and Nog is French".
Nog said, "Oui. Je suis francais."
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^Why, thank you, my loyal subject. 
I think we can all be proud of what we achieved here today!
Continuing: Vulcan Princess added
(Nog) said, "Oui. Je suis francais."
To which I add:
According to Jake's latest novel,
(Nog) said, "Oui. Je suis francais."
To which I add:
According to Jake's latest novel,
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The innocent voyage of George
the Cardassian Vole, the situation
had an unfortunate tendency to
deteriorate rapidly whenever French Ferengi
sold their stock in April.
Nog shifted guiltily, and indeed
he had every right to
be nervous, for the situation
had grown terribly grave, for
due to the horta's alcoholism
