DS9 Caption That# "Loose Lips & Ships"

[Triskelion]

Sisko: Well Chief, you found the sewage tank. That's three hours well spent.
O'Brien <mumbles>: Bite my nuts....
Sisko: What was that?
O'Brien: I told Ensign Jimenez to tighten these nuts, sir.
Sisko: Oh. Carry on, Chief.
O'Brien <mumbles>: Ah, blow it out your bowels, piss brain.
Sisko: What??
O'Brien: Permission to locate the power system, sir?
Sisko: Of course. Carry on.
O'Brien <mumbles>: Turn the cross bearing to the power train back.
Sisko: What was that mister?
O'Brien: I said apron-wearing megalomaniac, sir. - D'oh!

Vorta: Jem Ha'dar mountain oyster?
Sisko: You have to give me this recipe.

Vorta: One more time from the top. And First, try not to drag the Fosse mid-air leap. I'm afraid you're going to land on me in the Steam Heat.
First: Bitch.
Vorta: What was that?
Second: He called you a bitch.
Vorta: Lucky for you you are so right.

Now that's a spicy meat-a-ball, eh?!

 

[Marie1]

"What do you mean I'm adopted?''

 

[CaptainJon]

Sisko: How many men does it take to switch a reverse-flux dilithium-fueled neolidic converter with attached proton- and carbohydrated-slinclet cells?
O'Brien: More then we've got.
Aide: Are you sure you still want the accessorized cupholder?

Waiter, there is a piece of rock in my soup!

Do this outfit make my boobs look big?

 

[Triskelion]

Vorta: Captain Sisko, does the Federation know that during your First Contact missions you insist everyone try your gumbo?
Sisko: What, it's charming.
Vorta: We're outta here, cornbread.
Sisko: Why do they always do that?
The Prophets: The Sisko's gumbo tastes like anus.

O'Brien: It's powered by a Clitoris Drive. Federation scientists have theorized about the technology.
Sisko: Can you activate the drive, O'Brien?
Ensign: <Snort> Not according to Keiko.

Vorta (thinking): Well if these humans aren't anything I suppose I'll have to settle for him. Drug-addicted steroid abuser but at least he's got a job.

 

[Elmo Dukat]

"Yeah, those are real. I guess we should have told her we'd be fixing the outer compartment of her quarters, but what's done is done..."

SISKO: I am deeply honored by your offering of pizza sauce on crackers, and grape juice in obviously seamed plastic cups.

VORTA: I knew I should have worn those Depends...

 

[Gil T.Azell]

Female Vorta: "Sorry but the last time you went down on me, those spikes killed my inner thighs, I'll take a pass"

 

[Mistral]

Do this outfit make my boobs look big?

"Sadly, no."

 

[Nerys Ghemor]

But at least in my womanly opinion (I know that the men will probably disagree), she's prettier because they're REAL and in proportion with her body. And I must say, that dress is a fine example of costume design. WAAAAY better than the ridiculous catsuits other women had to wear!

 

[jgdst]

O'Brien: The only way we're going to get this bird flying is by using a power source like supportingcastium and feeding it in through the mincemeat matrix. I think you know where I'm going with this.
Sisko: Damn straight. And what the hell kind of a nickname is Quique anyway?
Muniz: Hey guys, what did I miss?

Sisko: Well this is just wildly inappropriate, you know he was supposed to be our fuel out of here...

Vorta: Why didn't you tell me I tried to feed him his own Ensign?!
First: That is the order of things, you dumb bitch...

Yeah, I've got a job on this kid's show called Lazy Town, it's ALL about da bling bling.

 

[Nerys Myk]

VORTA: So which one of you is the smart one?

 

[Nerys Myk]

CAPTION CROSSOVER

PICARD: You guys call for a tow truck?

 

[AdmiralGarak]

CAPTION CROSSOVER

PICARD: You guys call for a tow truck?

Nice!

 

[Marie1]

^ Seconded! Hilarious!!

 

[Rat Boy]

Vorta: "Why can't you people ever smile?"

Jem'Hadar: "What do you mean 'you people?'"

 

[grabthars hammer]

Sisko: Keep looking Chief, our girdles must be in there somewhere.

Sisko: Can you at least tell me what kind of animal its from?

Vorta: I swear, there really are weapons of mass destruction around here! Don't give me that look!

"... but using a glove would kill the sensation! Now quit whining and bend over already!"

 

[Marie1]

Vorta: "Why can't you people ever smile?"

Jem'Hadar: "What do you mean 'you people?'"

If I were a Jem'Hadar (who lacked discipline ) I would have then said
"If it means so much to you, why didn't you ask the Founders to put it in our genetic recipe, stupid?"

 

[Nebusj]

``... the heck? This is the base of the Statue of Liberty!''

 

[Triskelion]

Figure it out yet chief?
What? Oh. Yeah, we were just wondering how Keiko's bullwhip got stuck in here.

 

[NathanielM]

First Bajoren: Wait, Wait, Theres someting you must know... <ziiiip> CLUNK! I was Captain James T. Kirk (Captain of Enterprise) in DRAG! I just had my sex change but its not done yet!

Second Bajoren: OH Give it to me Kirk-ie Baaaby.

(cue captain kirk fuck song from Original Series here)

 

[Mistral]

Sisko: "Anything, Chief?"

O'Brien: "Nah, Captain, the damn contest doesn't seem to be ending anytime soon."

Sanchez: "Wait, I think they're going to call the winn-no, my bad."