DS9 Caption Contest 91: Another Day in Ops?

[Smellincoffee]

Thank you to all who participated last week! This week's theme is "Just Another Day in Ops". I had intended for some april-foolery, so have fun -- but first, winners!

NOG: Yep, it's all about the uniform. Changes everything, Jake. The ladies will be lining up. Any second now hot and cold running women. Have to beat them off with a stick. Gonna be swimming in ladies....

WEYOUN: I've analyzed their attack pattern. Still I can't understand how they managed to take us by surprise.
DAMAR: They attacked from above. You know space is 3d right?
FOUNDER: *sigh* "First, prepare to activate the next Weyoun clone."

Sisko: Plot a course to the Badlands.
Eddington: Whatever you say Javert!
Sisko: Tell me Mr Eddington, have you read the scene where Javert slammed Jean Valjean's face in to the console?
Eddington: ....

Nog: Think of all he could do - invent the internet, predict the stock market for the next three hundred years, or prevent World War III with some well-placed phaser technology.
Quark: - and I'm telling you, they're gonna want to cancel Firefly! You must NOT allow it! Fans will be pissed!

Dukat: Does a restraining order count if you're trying to rescue your daughter from Breen Slavers?
Kira: 500 yards is 500 yards, Dukat.

And finally...

Damar: And have we decided what we want to drink yet?
Weyoun: Something with an umbrella in it.
Founder: Weyoun....
Weyoun: I'm sorry, for a minute there I thought I was an adult man allowed to choose his own drink.
Damar: Wife?
Weyoun: Alien shapeshifter bent on galactic domination. So, you're not far off.

And now, to this week's theme: Just Another Day at the Office -- Ops, that is.

This one will be open at least two weeks, possibly three given the number of shots. The next contest will resume the countdown to 100!

 

[JirinPanthosa]

BASHIR: I swear, I don't want you to be submissive.
THIRD DAX (os): Julian, you imagined TWO Daxes?
BASHIR: Oh boy.

OSCAR: QUARK! This is not the holoprogram I asked for!
QUARK (os): Sorry! For 4% of the human population I've never actually met a gay person before, apparently I have your fantasies wrong.

SISKO: I want to flood my quarters with chroniton radiation, and you won't talk me out of it.
KIRA: But, the prophets!
SISKO: A VISION. EVERY TIME I'M GETTING NAKED WITH CASSIDY.

O'BRIEN: This is a James Bond movie?
BASHIR: This is the 2047 version, after they lost all their funding.

MICHAEL (os): Dwight, for the last time, you can't bring that batt'leth into the office.
DWIGHT: But it's National Klingon Appreciation Day!
MICHAEL (os): And your weird friends can't come in either.

DWIGHT: IT'S REAL! It's not a story! In my other life I'm a black man and the captain of a space station! I SWEAR IT'S REAL!
JIM: Right. Are you a virgin on the space station too?

 

[Finn]

Dax: I thought you were getting the McCoy version of the EMH?

 

[Triskelion]

Woo hoo! TFTW & EC Smellincoffee!

Pam, you can go ahead and marry Roy. Me and my replicator took care of bizness 24th century style.

I blame you for Wolf 359, Locutus.
Bears. Beets. Battlestar Galactica.

Plan a party, Angela. Oh! And the entire world will see it. Oh! And here’s $65.00 for your budget. Oh and here are four idiots who’ll do nothing but weigh you down. Oh. And your cat’s still dead.

Primero: ¡La victoria es la vida!

Bob Vance, Vance Replication.
Bob Vance, Vance Replication.
Bob Vance, Vance Replication.

Damar: I will use the deflector array to shoot an antigraviton beam that will take out your self-replicating minefield.
Rom: I'm going to get married. Uh-oh, where are Leeta and I going to live?

 

[LeadHead]

Thanks for the win!

Farrell: (Episode commentary Track) So it wasn't until Season 4 that they told me that the real Jadzia was killed off-screen in this episode and replaced by the fantasy Jadzia.

Kira: Worf is being mean to me!

Worf: Am not!

Kira: Are too!

Worf: AM NOT!

Sisko: (thinking) So glad Jake is an only child.

Klingon: Sweet! We're going to take over Ops! It's not like one human with a hand phaser set to wide beam could take all of us down-

 

[anthony_lynch15]

Dax: Julian, why do you have a hologram program of me in your private files?
Bashir: ........

Oscar: What the hell are you doing?
Dwight: Why I'm picking up a large quantity of chroniton particles from you Oscar.
Oscar: What the hell are you talking about Dwight?
Dwight: Department of Temporal Affairs - your coming with me.
Oscar: Human fool, you'll never stop me!

Sisko: What can I do for my two executive officers?
Kira: Odo told me he loves me, and I don't know what to do.
Worf: Jadzia and are are having marital problems.
Sisko: Dammit you two! I have that Vic Fontaine program running permanently so I can avoid conversations like this!

Alien #1: Don't you find it strange that the only distinguishable difference between us and these terrans is a bump above our upper lip.
Alien #2: It is remarkable that our appearance could evolve to match there's so closely considering we our from totally different planets on opposite ends of the galaxy, but it serves our infiltration plans perfectly.
Alien #3: Yes, with these "moustaches" we will blend in flawlessly!

Sisko: Ah gentlemen, welcome aboard. As you can see I have four of Starfleet's finest snipers with their phaser rifles trained on you right now. So ask yourselves, is today a good day to die?

Dwight: Here's that stapler you asked for.
Jim: Thank you Dwight.
Dwight: Did you see Deep Space Nine last night?
Jim: Yeah, great episode.
Dwight: I enjoyed it too. Glad we found something we both like to build a solid working relationship on.
Jim: Me to Dwight, me too.

 

[Armored Saint]

Klingon leader: Sorry, do you have a bottle of Gaviscon?

 

[Nerys Myk]

KLINGON: Take over the station? Dude, we're the band. Which way to "Quarks"?

 

[Mr. Laser Beam]

Klingon Hair-Metal Band: Let's get ready to BAT'LETH!!!!!

 

[anthony_lynch15]

Klingon leader: Sorry, do you have a bottle of Gaviscon?

LOL - That's a good one!

 

[Nerys Myk]

DAX: So much for not being able to mimic humanoids, eh Odo?

BASHIR: Odo? But I just....

ODO: You just got busted for sexual harassment, Doctor.

 

[Smellincoffee]

Just a heads up, this particular contest will go one more week.

 

[LeadHead]

Bashir: So, which of us conjured her this time?

 

[Finn]

Dax: This isn't funny, Julian. Get rid of her.

Bashir: No, this isn't funny. The holographic Keiko programmed to appear whenever Miles is having an argument with Keiko in their quarters is. Or Holographic Dukat in Nerys' sonic shower.

 

[Smellincoffee]

24 hour warning! Tomorrow starts a new contest and the resumption of the countdown to 100.