DS9 Caption Contest 77; Fooling around

[Ln X]

Apologies for the delay but I've been really busy with revision and exams. But that's over now so I can get back to these contests.

Now the winners from the last contest are;

Bashir: "But, I passed all of your tests!"

Sloane: "And yet you still can't rub your belly while patting your head. Sad. Kill him."

JAKE: Laugh all you want, but I payed good money for that candy bar and I'm gonna get it!

NOG: A very Ferengi sentiment. Should I contact the Chief or the Doctor about freeing your hand?

Sisko: (OS) What are those?

Dukat: *chuckles* Why, those are hairless tribbles.

Worf: (OS) *wets pants*

That awkward moment when the crew thought Eris said "Horta."

KIRA: Does every Klingon ritual involve cutting yourself?
MARTOK: No. Some of them involve burning yourself.

I really couldn't decide who the clear winner was with this award, these two entries were that good!

On one hand we have...

Dukat: Ah, join me at my table.
Sisko: No.
Kira: No.
Worf: No.
Odo: No.
O'Brien: No.
Dax: No.
Bashir: No.
Quark: No.
Jake: No.
Nog: No.
Rom: No.
Leeta: No.
Martok: No.
Weyoun: No.
Damar: No.
Dukat: Wow. Tough room.

And in the other...

Dukat: Yes, Commander. It also doubles as a sex toy. We Cardassians waste nothing.

While our photoshop winner is clearly...

"Why are you showing me a bar?"
"Because it's time you learned the true reason we wear leather, Doctor."

Nice job TommyR01D! Finally congratulations to the winners, there were some excellent entries here!



And now here are five more pictures to sate your captioning needs!

Have fun!

 

[Ln X]

Nerys: A threesome?
Dax: Two is always better than one I say.

O'Brien: Bloody itching powder!
Bashir: I never realised Morn was such a prankster.

Bashir: Forgive my friend Ezri here, she's narcoleptic.

Nog: Uncle, why are they all raising their middle fingers at us?
Quark: Perhaps it is some kind of gesture indicating they wish to commence business?

Kira: I swear to you captain this is NOT what it looks like!

 

[JirinPanthosa]

tftw!

Kira: A threesome?
Trill male: Six-some.
Dax: Actually, we were thinking about a seven-some.
Kira: Goodbye.

Few people know that Barcalay Protomorphisis Syndrome also spread to DS9. Here we see O'Brien and Bashir beginning to devolve into a chipmunk and a sloth.

Every week, the senior staff pretends to like Worf's poetry, and every week, they find it more and more difficult.

Quark: So what was your name again?
(Offscreen): Roddenberry. Second Lieutenant Gene Roddenberry. I'm in the Air Force.
Rom: Brother, what are you doing?
Quark: Call it instinct. I think if we can convince this man of the wonders of free enterprise, we can change all of Earth's history.

When Bashir heard what Kira was like in the alternate universe, he got a brilliant idea.

 

[R. Star]

Thanks for the win!

Male Fan: When I demanded proof that the spots go all the way down... this is not what I had in mind!!!

Somehow it was fitting that the Zombie Apocalypse started at Quark's...

O'brien: Hey.. Ezri passed out.
Bashir: What happened?
Quark: Oh sorry... I meant to put the roofie in Kira's drink.
Kira: Oh so you wanted to have your way with me Quark.... well now I'm going to have my way with you...
Quark: Oh hell.. if you need me I'll be in my storage room securing the ah... something.

Quark: No belief in the afterlife, belief that everyone should serve the state, no property, no acquisition of wealth...
Rom: These Soviets don't seem very nice.
Nog: I don't recall reading much of them from Earth's history. I remember some obscure reference in the short chapter titled Non-Western History.
Quark: Other than the whole torture and gulag thing, they seem very similar to the Federation hew-mons though.

Bashir: Oh yeah... we had a great time. Highly recommend the mirror universe, Commander. The Intendant can't say no.. if you know what I mean.

 

[Triskelion]

Kiki: You told them you were Flo from the Dominion Insurance commercials?
Daxy: My hickeys were fading.

Doctor: Ok so what you're saying is that with DS&9 we get the same old subspace that can get congested. Right? Buddy? <snap snap> This one can be slooooooooow....
Milestein: Why are you talking to me like that?
Doctor: Or there's this one, Trill Mobile, it's less likely to get slowed down because you get fifty percent more bandwidth, right? Ok, so that's <holds up fingers> FIFTY -
Milestein: Ok. We choose Trill Mobile.
Doctor: This one?
Milestein: Yea- that one, the one I pointed to.
Doctor: Do you see? The drunkard chose this one?
Milestein: Oh, we're gonna use that word. All right. Okay, let's go there. Wow.

Dukat: What’s better, saving a bunch or not saving at all?
Group: A bunch!
Dukat: Ok. What would you buy with all this money you saved?
Kiki: I’d buy a change-o machine so I could change my Odo to a puppy.
Dukat: Couldn’t you just buy an actual puppy?
Kiki: Yeah but if my Odo’s a puppy I could bring him to Ops and say, “Hey everybody, here’s my Odo-puppy!”
Dukat: Well when you say it like that it makes perfect sense.
Emissary of the Prophets: It’s not complicated. Saving is better. Now at DS&9, trade up to iPhone 5000. Get it now for 9 bars of gold-pressed latinum when you trade in your current communicator.

Nogs: His personality is so magnetic, he is unable to carry credit cards.
Roms: He could disarm you with his looks - or his hands - either way.
Quirk: I don't always drink colored alien liquid - but when I do, I prefer green.

Kiki: With Actilvia, shine from the inside out -
Julie: Kill me now!

 

[Mistral]

Thanks for the win!

Jadzia: "We'll have the saffron rice-and the spotted dick. Thanks."

 

[IzzyAtWarp9]

Kira: So I said to him 'if you just keep doing the same 'change into something else' trick when I'm trying to have a serious conversation with you, Im gonna-'
Dax: Err.. Nerys..

Quark: Oh, errm.. Terribly sorry, we appear to have, errm..
Rom: Stumbled into the wrong room!
Quark: Yes, errm, we were just looking for the err.. Storage rooms for, err.... Something.. *coughs nervously*
Random guy: (off screen) Awkward

 

[IzzyAtWarp9]

O'Brien: Hey, Dax, you're walking like a zombie this morning. Stay up with MORN last night?
Bashir: Oooooh *clicks fingers* you did not just say that, girlfriend!!!

O'Brien: Well wadya know? Quark finally got what he deserved.
Bashir: Mmm. Sooner or later Dax was bound to find out that Quark was spiking her drinks with hyvroxilated quint-ethyl metacetamin and stealing her tongo winnings.
Dax: (Off screen) Take this you big-earred freak! I'll teach you to mess with Dax!!
Quark: (Off screen) Someone, heeeeelp!!!
Kira: I would help if it wasn't so funny.
O'Brien: Oh, look; now she's pelting him with latinum bars.
Dax: (off screen) You want this latinum?? Well now you're gonna get it!!

Kira: Commander, we've just been to a parallel universe! It was amazing because their whole world was changed when Kirk was there almost a century ago, so now-
Bashir: Well you might think it's amazing but I damn well don't! You can sass all you want and go wherever just because the Intendant was.. Well you.. Then I just tell them my bloody job and I get smacked in the face MULTIPLE times and have to wear the same filthy uniform everyday. All you got was a fancy dress!

 

[Finn]

Odo: (OS) I told you I wasn't kidding about her, Doctor

 

[shivkala]

TFTW!

Kira: So, which one do I get?

Dax: Oh, er, both of these are for me.

The Harlem Shake didn't age well.

Sisko: Damn it, people, all I ask for is one good picture, and what do I get? Dax closes her eyes every time I say, "Cheese," and Kira, here keeps cracking up.

Nog: Oooh, this isn't going to go over well. Starfleet doesn't like it when you mess with the timeline. Why can't I be more like Captain Sisko? He'd never alter the timeline...

Sisko: Dr. Bashir! You look like Hell, what happened?

Kira: Hey, it's not all sunshine over here. I think I got a paper cut.

Bashir: A paper cut? Really? Look at me!

Kira: Yeah, yeah, poor Julian. Now can we focus on my paper cut, please?

 

[Nerys Myk]

DAX: And now the applying of the Decon Gel.

KIRA: Decon Gel?

DAX: It's an ancient Earth custom.

 

[Triskelion]

Odo: Are you sure the ideal humanoid form has a two inch penis?
Bashir: It's an established medical fact.

 

[Nerys Myk]

SISKO: That's it. Constable, please get this "Carl Spock" character off my station!

 

[Finn]

DAX: And now the applying of the Decon Gel.

KIRA: Decon Gel?

DAX: It's an ancient Earth custom.

Nice..

 

[LeadHead]

Thanks for the win!

Dax: Wait where did you guys come from, I didn't program you.

Kira: I did. Now get lost, Jadzia.

O'Brien: Wow, didn't think that pea would land on Quarks head AND stay there!

Bashir:Into the ear, double or nothing?

O'Brien: You're on!

Ezri: I'm so glad Quark added The Beatles to the bars playlist.

 

[Ln X]

Jadzia: My friend here is a little out of practice and I wonder if you could erm... show her the ropes...

Odo's impression of Pinocchio was always warmly received.

 

[Bry_Sinclair]

Kira: If those shorts are crotchless as well, what's the point in wearing them?

No one ever appreciated O'Brien's Thunderbirds impression.

Dax: Wow Miles, you've got amazing hands.
O'Brien: Hands...yes, that's what that is.

 

[Finn]

Sisko: (OS) Status?

Kira: We did it! We won't have to worry about them coming out of the wormhole

Bashir: It was close, but I managed to induce coma in all but two. I was able to fool two of them into thinking they were in some kind of space pitcher plant. Miles managed to reprogram their EMH into thinking the same.

Sisko: Good job! Good to have you both home

 

[Dale Sams]

Kira: "Wouldn't this technically be a seven-some?"

Ezri put 50 strips of latinum on the Spurs.

 

[IzzyAtWarp9]

How often is there a new DS9 caption contest? Or is it just random?

(>^-^)> IzzyAtWarp9