DS9 Caption Contest #7: Just a Simple Tailor...

[LeadHead]

A great week of great captions, so it's time for a greater week of greater captions! But before we go onto the new Captions, time to crown our winners!

First up, for reminding us that some people have a dark past...

BASHIER: Of course he's the killer! Didn't you see "The Undiscovered Country"!

For a situation that no one would ever speak of again, also the person committing it wouldn't speak either, our winner is:

All were forever traumatized on that fateful night in which a plastered Morn climbed onto the bar and began his striptease.

For characterizing this cap exactly right without resorting to amnesia or an irreversible coma, our winner is:

Sometimes the DS9 crew felt their lives were just one big soap opera.

For reminding us how important a good pilot really is, our winner is:

Dax: I'm perfectly capable of flying the ship without watching the screen. My friend Deanna does it all the time.

For giving us a preview of a face to face meeting of people in the TrekBBS, our winner is:

Klingon: BABYLON FIVE IS THE SUPERIOR SHOW!
Odo: NO! OUR SHOW IS MUCH BETTER!

For reminding us that the death color of uniforms goes through changes from time to time our winner is:

O'Brien: *thinking* Maybe I should have told the new guy to watch out, since 'blueshirt' is the new 'redshirt?' Naw, I'm sure he already knows.

Congratulations to all of our winners!

Now, as I was going through the contests we had done so far, I realized that everybody's favorite Cardassian Tailor had not yet made proper appearances, so today we rectify that.

and I saw this one while looking for Garak caps, and thought it was screaming to make an appearance here:

 

[LeadHead]

Cardassian Hugs are more aggressive than Human Hugs.

Robinson: Why did they have to bring you on the show? I could have been a great regular Character!

Garak: Yay! I figured out of to fire the Phasers!

Sisko: You missed.

Garak: Shut up!

I AM THE SISKO!

 

[Nerys Myk]

SISKO: No! You cannot measure my inseam!!!!!!!!!

 

[Mistral]

Sisko: "Paisley? Paisley? I will not...wear...paisley!!!!"

 

[Mistral]

Garack: "Um, there's some little red things heading for the green thing. I think we're the green thing."

 

[Deranged Nasat]

Kira: "Ha! success! We pulled it off. I knew we could find a way to creep you out"
Dukat: "The two of us kissing passionately. You should have seen the look on your face!"
Kira: "Yeah, that's the one"
Dukat: "Garak?"

Garak had survived many dangerous missions, and successfully escaped the consequences.

Then he burnt Sisko's peppers.

 

[DS9 Gal AZ]

Thanks for the win! I needed something to make me smile today

Garak: Shh, it's alright my darling, we're alone now...
Quark: Mmph?!
Garak: *releasing him* Oh um, sorry Quark, I thought you were Dr. Bashir.

Garak: *thinking* Damn, where's a tribble when you need one?

Garak: There ... are ... FOUR ... lights!
Sisko: *snicker* Garak, it's not nice to make fun of Captain Picard... *snicker*
Garak: And yet you're still laughing.

Sisko: KAAAAAHHHHHNNN!!!
Garak: What? Who?
Sisko: Sorry, I was having a Kirk moment.

 

[AdmiralGarak]

Garak had survived many dangerous missions, and successfully escaped the consequences.

Then he burnt Sisko's peppers.

 

[Jonas Grumby]

Garak: "GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAL!!!"

Garak: "What's the matter? Still a little too tight in the crotch?"

 

[Thor Damar]

"Arrgh! It's THE EVENT!"

(anyone get the oblique reference, if so I'll be very surprised.

and please remember to stay indoors!)

 

[Isis]

Quark: "Thanks for stopping the sneeze, but I think a little decongestant would have worked just as well."

 

[26138]

How not to do oomax.

 

[Jonas Grumby]

"You little troll! I told you to send a fresh dabo girl to my holosuite! Does this smell fresh to you!?"

 

[AdmiralGarak]

When a member of the Obsidian Order decides to play "Guess Who" with you, you've already lost.

Garak: "Captain, look! It's the Riders of Rohan!"

And so, the Big Bad Emissary huffed and he puffed he blew the little tailor shop down.

 

[Eyes]

"Arrgh! It's THE EVENT!"

(anyone get the oblique reference, if so I'll be very surprised.

and please remember to stay indoors!)

Nice one!

But the one rule is, you do not think about the Event.

 

[Thor Damar]

What ev...ev. No, If I say it it'll return.

They play with us in the dark...

and now to lighten the mood I present Gulbirt and sullivan...

"I am the very modern model of a secret agent incarnate,
I interrogate my victims in a manner most unusual,
with creepy smiles and monologues that vex the mind and cause distress.

I assassinate Senators and guards alike and between,
I can strike at any moment when compulsion takes me
(though not necessary when you'd prefer).
I can spin a lie to dazzle all who hear, the truth is nothing but a funny game to me.

I short I am but plan and simple in my manners most befittingly so I hope that you will find me most agreeable company..."

Bashir (offscreen): Oh, do shut up Garak.

 

[Kirby]

Once again it comes to blows as Worf and Garak attempt to settle the less filling/tastes great argument.

Garak: Ha! Less filling!

Sisko joins Team Worf: Tastes Great!

 

[Admiral Shran]

Thanks for another win.

When Garak started humming Elton John's Can You Feel the Love Tonight, Quark knew this wouldn't end well.

Garak: So, I went to see Twilight: Eclipse today. I liked it.
Worf: Today is a good day for you to die.

<Andrew Robinson reacts to an ad-lib from Avery Brooks>
Sisko (offscreen) to Dukat (on viewscreen, offscreen): The path of the righteous man is beset on all sides by the iniquities of the selfish and the tyranny of evil men. Blessed is he, who in the name of charity and good will, shepherds the weak through the valley of darkness, for he is truly his brother's keeper and the finder of lost children. And I will strike down upon thee with great vengeance and furious anger those who would attempt to poison and destroy my brothers! And you will know my name is the Sisko when I lay my vengeance upon thee!

Garak: So Captain, you think the Vulcan Neck Pinch hurts? Now feel the horror of the Cardassian Groin Pinch!

 

[Rat Boy]

The best way to kill a Ferengi is to subject him/her to your fingers post-the-Shocker.

Garak stuntman: "Think anyone's going to know the difference?"

Worf stuntman: "Pfffffffft. Like any of those geeks can freezeframe at the right time to spot us."

Garak: "No, seriously; I wasn't trying to upload porn."

Sisko (singing): "When a maaaaaaaaaan wants to smack a Cardassian!"

 

[Rush Limborg]

Garak: Feelin' LUCKY?

Quark: Mmm-mmm! Mmm-mmm!

Garak: Too bad.

Quark: MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM!!!

Garak: RELEASE ME, THOU FOOL! I AM A SERVANT OF THE SECRET FIRE--WIELDER OF THE FLAME OF ARNOR! THE DARK FIRE WILL NOT AVAIL YOU, FLAME OF UDUN!

Worf: How DARE you invoke THE GREAT KAHLESS HIMSELF?!?

Garak: Uh, how confused can you be, to miss that line?

Worf: What?

Garak: Uh, I mean--GO...BACK...TO THE SHADOW!!!

When Garak agreed to attend Dr. Bashir's mini-marathon of the James Bond films on the Defiant, hearing the first name of Miss Galore was not on the brochure.

Sisko: YOU!!! SHALL NOT!!! PAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAASS!!!

Garak: Oh? Are you planning a party for me in the Promenade, Captain?