DS9 Caption Contest #49: Weyoun! Send in the clones!

[Nerys Myk]

WEYOUN: Our ship is being hit. Shields at sixty percent.

DUKAT: I understand.

WEYOUN: Well should we, I don't know, fire back?

DUKAT: No. (he eats an apple)

WEYOUN:You've gotta stop running those Kirk holo-programs!!

 

[Jonas Grumby]

Dukat: "This one's called a 'baseball.' They've also got 'basketballs,' 'footballs,' 'soccer balls'... Humans! They're all ball-happy!"
Weyoun: "I thought you told me they were all breast-happy."

 

[Captain Crow]

Dax: I wish we had something to eat.

Weyoun: Well I've got some chocolate.

Dax: Milk or Dark?

Weyoun: Dark.

Worf: Ahh! The chocolate of warriors! If you were any other man I would kiss you were you stand.

[comic beat]

Worf: Screw it.

[Worf kisses Weyoun]

 

[Gary7]

Dukat: "This one's called a 'baseball.' They've also got 'basketballs,' 'footballs,' 'soccer balls'... Humans! They're all ball-happy!"
Weyoun: "I thought you told me they were all breast-happy."

 

[Rush Limborg]

Dax: I wish we had something to eat.

Weyoun: Well I've got some chocolate.

Dax: Milk or Dark?

Weyoun: Dark.

Worf: Ahh! The chocolate of warriors! If you were any other man I would kiss you were you stand.

[comic beat]

Worf: Screw it.

[Worf kisses Weyoun]

Ezri: Shucks! Passionate, aren't we, Worf?

Weyoun: Personally, I'm not complaining!

Damar: I suppose it's not too much to hope for, that it's the Kiss Of Death....

 

[apenpaap]

Weyoun: "I assume Captain Sisko removed or destroyed everything of value?"
Dukat: "Not everything.""
Weyoun: "What is that?"
Dukat: "An egg from Kira."

 

[Rush Limborg]

Okay--just outta curiosity...when the heck did this "egg" thing begin?

 

[apenpaap]

I'm not sure, I've been out of trek for more than a year and missed a lot of caption contests, but I'm going to blame TheGodBen because I can remember him making that joke at some point.

 

[Rush Limborg]

^Yeah...I first remember it with TGB, too. Every time a caption involves Kira, he...

I'm just wondering if it happened before him.

 

[Mr. Laser Beam]

Weyoun: Are you sure that's the one?

Dukat: Absolutely sure. This is the stone I passed.

 

[Ln X]

Weyoun: "I assume Captain Sisko removed or destroyed everything of value?"
Dukat: "Not everything.""
Weyoun: "What is that?"
Dukat: "An egg from Kira."

That is an absolute win! You have me retching on my own flem! Well played sir!

 

[Gary7]

Weyoun: "An egg from Kira?"
Dukat: "No, Faberge."
Weyoun: "Who is that?"
Dukat: "I think it's a kind of animal that lays eggs. Someone went to a lot of trouble to put decoration around it. Nevertheless, I'm going to crack it open for breakfast tomorrow."

 

[Nerys Myk]

DUKAT: You know what I want to hear.

WEYOUN: [lying] No, I don't.

DUKAT: You played it for her, you can play it for me!

WEYOUN: [lying] Well, I don't think I can remember...

DUKAT: If she can stand it, I can! Play it!

 

[Rush Limborg]

^Casablanca!

 

[Smellincoffee]

Weyoun: A hit! A hit! A palpable hit!
Odo: You hit a stationary object using auto-targeting sensors. Congratulations.
Weyoun: You honor me with your sarcasm, Founder.
Odo: *sigh*

Dukat: Alas, poor Sisko. I knew him, Weyoun; a fellow of infinite jest --
Weyoun: Stop that!
Dukat: What?
Weyoun: Every time we accomplish something, you start monologuing.
Dukat: And? It's our right.
Weyoun: It makes us look like villains, you fool!
Dukat: And?
Weyoun: And we're not! We are the Dominion, a source of galactic order and peace for all!
Dukat: Have you seen our uniforms?

Worf: This is your good side.
Weyoun: Really?
Ezri: Absolutely.
Weyoun: But I always thought I looked best from the front --

 

[apenpaap]

Weyoun: "Look; I've finally found definitive proof Bajorans lay eggs."
Worf: "That's disgusting!" *crack!*

 

[Finn]

Coombs: "Avery, I have an idea to make this a Torture Miles episode"

Brooks: Go ahead. Colm took my donut this morning.

Weyoun: I didn't know Klingons used loti....

 

[Mistral]

Weyuon: "You're right-that was the firing control button. Imagine that."

 

[boco]

Weyoun: You're right,founder, farts do explode!

 

[boco]

Sorry, I have one more:

Weyoun: So Sisko crammed THAT up your butt??