DS9 Caption Contest #49: Weyoun! Send in the clones!

[Gary7]

Thanks for the Photoshop pick, Leadhead.

Miles: "Is anyone else sick and tired of this smug little twerp? Well, I sure am. Might as well pistol whip him to unconsciousness with this phaser rifle."
Sisko: "Chief... easy does it."
Weyoun: tries to make an even smugger look on his face

Worf: "Ezri, you are right. They do get a closer shave. Weyoun--reveal your secret, or I'll break your neck."

Weyoun: "Bullseye!"
Changeling leader: "What does getting a direct hit have to do with the ocular organ of a beast? Oh you solids, you're so obtuse."

Weyoun: "You'd really take a bite out of it, like an apple?"
Dukat: "Anything to piss off The Sisko!"

Weyoun: "I thought you liked cornbread. I baked it myself, just for you Doctor."
Bashir: "Well it looks like cornbread, but *sniff* it smells like a Jem'Hadar locker room!"
Weyoun: "Oh... and how would you know that?"
Bashir: "Well it's definitely not smelling like cornbread!"

 

[Starpaul20]

Weyoun: I just saved 15% by switching my spaceship insurance to Geico. It's so easy a Klingon could do it... *Worf breaks his neck*

 

[Rush Limborg]

Weyoun: I just saved 15% by switching my spaceship insurance to Geico. It's so easy a Klingon could do it...

*Worf breaks his neck*

Ezri: I'm partial to Allstate, myself....

Damar: State Farm.

(Pause)

Ezri: Worf...?

Worf: Klingons do not cower behind "insurance"....

 

[sojourner]

Alright gentlemen, before we go through that door, I have to warn you. Keiko is in one of her "moods", so keep your phasers armed and ready...

Weyoun - The Braun 6000 razor. Nothing produces a finer shave.
Worf - He's right! it's smooth as Jadzia's...
Ezri - Jadzia's What?
Worf - um.... Die scum! <snap!>

I said "lunch", not "launch"!

Dukat - What is it?
Weyoun - An earth delicacy. Try it.

Bashir - I don't know what that is, but you can be assured I'm not eating it.
Weyoun - You should see what I got Dukat to try.


Edited to correct a name.

 

[Gul Re'jal]

^ Dukat, Damar, who cares, all Cardassians look the same

 

[Ln X]

O'Brien: And at the first sign of betrayal we shoot the Vorta bastard.

Worf: You kiss me, not Ezri!

Weyoun (after destroying the Defiant): So with Kira out of the way you can go home Odo!
Odo: You little... (strangles Weyoun)

Weyoun: What is it?
Dukat: Sisko's ball, and I'll add that and his own pair to my collection when I'm through with him!

Bashir: Please I've got to avoid sugary foods, they make me fat!
Weyoun: Just a little bite...
Bashir: No...
Weyoun: Come on doctor, one little bite of that warm, crumbly, cheesy, mouth-watering scone!

 

[boco]

O'Brien: Which of you is in love with Keiko?
Silence
O'Brien: C'mon,speak up, I'm not going to shoot you! I'll offer you a drink and I might even give you a few tips .. She's all yours.. I'll finally have more room to complete the Alamo!

 

[Thor Damar]

^ Dukat, Damar, who cares, all Cardassians look the same

That's not Dukat either, its Glinn Yeruk. A more noble and selfless son Cardassia could not hope to find.

(I will haz captions soon... as in now)

Damar:"As you can see the Vortamatic 5000 is fully equipped and functional with a wide variety of humanoid abilities and skill sets...so to speak."

Ezri: (to Worf) "I dunno honey, do you think we can afford it?"

Worf: "Not sure if its worth the money myself, I've heard nothing but bad things about these models..."

 

[Gary7]

^ Dukat, Damar, who cares, all Cardassians look the same

That's not Dukat either, its Glinn Yeruk. A more noble and selfless son Cardassia could not hope to find.

(I will haz captions soon... as in now)

Damar:"As you can see the Vortamatic 5000 is fully equipped and functional with a wide variety of humanoid abilities and skill sets...so to speak."

Ezri: (to Worf) "I dunno honey, do you think we can afford it?"

Worf: "Not sure if its worth the money myself, I've heard nothing but bad things about these models..."

Win!!

 

[Deranged Nasat]

Dukat: "Ah, I see I've bested him yet again".

Weyoun: "What do you mean?"

Dukat: "Back in season two, during that Maquis business when I was aboard, I stole his baseball and replaced it with a replica baseball that I found in a shop on the promenade. Like the viper pressed to the mother's breast, Sisko accepted it. And now! Now see how blissfully unaware he is that my baseball nestles in the heart of his office. Pine for your absent baseball, Sisko, knowing not what you crave!"

Weyoun: Dukat? That doesn't make any sense".

*Dukat happily ignores him*

 

[Thor Damar]

^ The amusing thing is that Dukat actually felt like that onscreen.

He was always mad...

Meanwhile at the caption factory...

"So we're all agreed, our phasers are bloody useless weapons."

All: "AYE"

"...Unless they're used as clubs of course. But we need a volunteer to test the effectiveness of said clubage on."

{Everyone turns to Weyoun}

"Guess I picked a bad day to stop snuffing glue..."

 

[Deranged Nasat]

^ The amusing thing is that Dukat actually felt like that onscreen.

Indeed. In the petty self-contained world of Dukat, all that matters is that he got one over on Sisko, somehow...

 

[Velocity]

Dukat: How'd ya like to see my screwball?

Weyoun: And I thought the Cardassian Neck Trick was impressive!

 

[Thor Damar]

Weyoun: "Sooo..whose on first?"

Dukat: {witheringly} "Don't you dare even start on that one!"

 

[boco]

thanks for the win

Weyoon: What happened to them?

Odo: I told them not to buy that antimatter injector from Quark

weyoun: What is this?
Dukat: Sisko's ball
Weoyun: I thought human males have two ..

Bashir: What is THIS?

WEyoun: Founder's cookies with Jem hadar male essence seasoned and chopped cream

Bashir: I think I'll pass

Weyoon: You surprise me Doctor as a physician you should realize the benefits of all the protein in these. Now eat you need your strength ....in our prison camp

 

[Gary7]

Dukat: "Will I be the next leader of Cardassia?" *shakes the 8 ball*
Dukat (reading): "'IT IS CERTAIN.' Ah, there you see? Just as I predicted!"
Weyoun: "Where can I get one of these?"
Dukat: "Earth, perhaps. I found it in Sisko's quarters."

 

[Jonas Grumby]

Weyoun: "I asked them to check their reactor output level and they said, 'How do we do that?,' and I said, "Ha! That's easy! Just press that big red button that says 'Auto-Destruct'!' Jeez, it was just a joke!"
Odo: "You fool! Never joke with Pakleds!"

 

[Captain Crow]

Odo: I warned them not to put metal in the microwave.

Worf: Hello, bubeleh! Oh, what a cute little punim you have.

 

[Gary7]

Weyoun: "Odo! Why did you destroy that Jem'Hadar warship?"
Odo: "It was coming at us in an attack pattern. What was I to do?"
Weyoun: "You fool, it was coming to dock with us! I'd ordered a large double pepperoni pizza two days ago. They were coming to deliver it. Oh I can't believe it! Such a dreadful loss..."
Odo: "Of Jem'Hadar warriors?"
Weyoun: "No, the pizza!"

 

[Isis]

Odo: "I knew it wasn't a good idea to have a burping contest with Q."

Weyoun: "Especially after they served plomeek at lunch."

Dukat: "Earth people!?!" <shakes head>

Bashir: "No thanks, Weyoun. I may be sloshed out of my mind, but I don't have a death wish."