DS9 Caption Contest #35: DS9 The Sequel!

[LeadHead]

Good evening folks. Sorry about not putting the new one up earlier. Been crazy the last couple of days.

First up to the plate, we have the "The writing on the wall" Award, going to:

Bashir: "It says, 'For a good time, call Julianna at 1-800-4DSNINE.' We don't have a Julianna on the station!"

Next, the "O'Brien Tortures Someone Else Episode" Award goes to:

O'Brien: You haven't payed your taxes in how long? Oh boy. Get a chair, Quark, we're gonna be here a while.

Next, the "Advanced Weaponry" Award goes to:

Major Kira Nerys is caught on camera trying out the Bajorian militia's latest weapon, phased energy sneezing.

For some reason or another, it never caught on.

Next up, we have the "Well, he did ask" Award, goes to:

Jake: Hey guys, did you Rock the Casbah?

Sisko: JAKE! .... Yes.

Next, the "Desperate times call for desperate measures" Award goes to:

Julian ... and here we are at the beach... and this is the big hole that I dug, that took like an hour... and look at this guy's crazy hat... this is our rental shuttle... and this is our room... check this out, this is that cheeseburger I was telling you about, man that was good... oh yeah, here's the sunset. Too bad I had the camera set on black and white...

Jadzia: Ok Worf, go get your Bat'leth.

Our very hunger inducing Photoshop award goes to:

With the food replicators off line, it was a long line at the pizza parlor.

Julian: "Ah, finally--just in time. But wait, I didn't want anchovies on it!"

Never challenge a genetically engineered man to a belching contest.

Thanks to all our contestants and congratulations to all of our winners! Depending on how quickly this one gets responses, I may have this one run for only a week as schedules are kinda weird for me for the next few weeks. Stay tuned!

Enjoy!

 

[LeadHead]

Dax: The next Chapter is great, it's where Dumbledore-

Bashir: Shut up!

Odo: How did you get in there?

Worf: i don't know. Will you let me out?

Odo: No.

Sisko: For the last time, NO ONE makes fun of the Baseball.

O'Brien: Okay, we know you're trapped in the Scanner, we don't know how to get you out. The good news is it showed us that really awesome tattoo you have on your left thigh.

BUZZ!

Howie Mandel: Oh, come on Piers. Give him a chance.

 

[Admiral Shran]

Thanks for another win!

Farrell: Bashir and Garak slashfic? Seriously, Sid?

Siddig: Go away.

Worf: I do not understand why I'm here!

Odo: Apparently Captain Sisko learned that you said you would kill him if he ever called you a coward. He's not impressed.

Sisko: I don't care about what your culture and society demands from you, Quark. I'm holding you accountable to Federation standards of morality because we're tolerate of everyone's cultures, except for the Ferengi.

O'Brien: Tell Quark you'll gladly give us your holosuite time or, so help me, I'll blast you to Cardassia!

Vic: [off-screen]: I think this will be the last time we do karaoke.

Quark: [off-screen]: At least we're keeping the voles at bay.

 

[The Laughing Vulcan]

Rom: [Jolson] "Moogie!" [/Jolson]

 

[Finn]

Odo: Heh... I will have to thank the Chief for bringing back that Iconian gateway. Now, should I pounce on Quark as a Trill Screaming Hyena or a Caldosian Hawk?

 

[Jonas Grumby]

Worf: "Oh, my head! That's the last time I'll ever try keeping up with Keiko O'Brien! That bitch must have a hollow leg or something!"

Sisko: "My online auction just closed. Damn, do I really have to sell it at that price?"
Quark: "You should have set a minimum."

 

[Deranged Nasat]

Bashir: "The 'Julianna' caption won. So did the 'Bashir's Holiday Pictures' caption. I'm beginning to think people around here hold me in low regard".

Jadzia (thinking): I got off lucky last round.

Odo: "You were out of order. In order to obey my orders to increase order, I ordered a new security door which arrived in an orderly fashion. My new order will reorder the social order of the station, in order to -"

Worf: "STOP SAYING ORDER!"

Sisko: "What are these, Quark?"

Quark: "Mint green table highlights".

Sisko: "And what did I order, Quark?"

Quark: "Lime green table highlights".

Sisko: "And what are you going to do about it, Quark?"

Quark: "Offer a...refund?"

Sisko: "Damn right".

 

[Deranged Nasat]

Alien: "Look, for the last time, we don't work for Keiko. We're not bringing Keiko's baggage aboard. I don't even know who Keiko is. Can we come aboard now?"

 

[Rush Limborg]

Jadzia: That a composite photo? Your "dream girl", or...what?

Julian: (distracted) You know...there are time I can't help but wonder--will I ever find the right one, and truly fall in love?

Jadzia: Over my dead body.

Julian: (bitterly) Thank you, Jadzia....

(long pause)

Jadzia: She's kinda "pixie"-looking, don't you think?

Worf: This--is OUTRAGEOUS!!! I am a Klingon Warrior--I can NOT be caged like a worthless targ!

Odo: Hmmph! Apparently, you can.

Quark: So...who's on first?

Sisko: Quark--not now! I have a headache.

Quark: What...what'd I say?

O'Brien: Don't worry, I'll use the old "push forward as hard as you can and hope it understands your intentions and moves to the side" trick!

Rom: (singing) "THESE BROKEN WIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINGS..."

 

[Isis]

Bashir: "Sudoku can really drive you crazy sometimes."

 

[Smellincoffee]

Dax: Aw! A love letter from Garak. How sweet.

O'Brian: I'll let you out of there as soon as I run to the loo. Gimme a minute, alright?
Alien: But our air will be depleted in 34 seconds!
O'Brian: Just gimme a minute!

When a man's gotta go, he's gotta go.

Rom: ...and I did it MYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYYYYYY!

Odo, sternly: Next time, take it easy on the prune juice. Do you have any idea how it looks to have a senior station official in the drunk tank?
Worf: I did not know it had fermented!

 

[Supernuke]

Quark: The Klingons are tearing apart my bar! What are you going to do about this?
Sisko: Wise magic baseball, tell me the answer!.... It says "try again later", sorry Quark!

 

[Nerys Myk]

DAX (Reading): Dear Penthouse,
When Jadzia and Kira showed up at my quarters late last night I didnt know what to expect...

You're a deadman Bashir.

ODO: Thats not the bathroom.

WORF: It is now.

SISKO: Weird, there's a baseball like mine us for sale on e-bay.

QUARK: That is weird.

SISKO: Wait a second,since when is "Ruth" spelled with two Os???

QUARK: Gotta go...

OBRIEN: Ever hear of "Airlock Archer"?

ALIEN: No.

OBRIEN: Too bad, I have.

ROM: Don't you wish your girlfriend was hot like mine?

BASHIR: I hate you!!!!!

 

[Finn]

ROM: Don't you wish your girlfriend was hot like mine?

BASHIR: I hate you!!!!!

EZRI: *slap!!!*

 

[ares93]

Jadzia: Working on a novel, eh?

Julian: (Turn it off quickly) Yeah.

Jadzia: What does it have the words; Jadzia, leather and lingerie in the same sentence?

Rom: Jazz hands!

 

[Kirby]

Rom: And a special treat tonight. I'M GOING FULL MONTY!!!!

 

[inflatabledalek]

Dax: Ohhh, is that the script for the last episode of the season? For some reason mine is missing the last few pages. Can I borrow?

Bashir: I'd speak to your agent first, I get the feeling the new contract negotiations aren't going so well for you.

Odo: What happened to the other two guys I put in there?
Worf: I got tired of waiting for lunch.

Sisko: I woke up bald this morning. I won't rest until I find out how that's your fault.

O'Brien: Christ you're an ugly bugger.
Alien: Hey!
O'Brien: Not you, the smary human guy. He's like someone's genetically distilled minging.

After yet another freat Runabout accident had left her invisible Rom decided to cheer up Leeta with a big hug. Poor fellow still couldn't reach the sides of her body though. Still, he didn't seem to mind...

 

[Bob Karo]

O'Brien: For the last time! You aren't coming in til you bring Jimmy Caan with you. You want another shot to the armpit?

 

[Herkimer Jitty]

Bashir: "These TrekBBS caption contests simply aren't funny."

O'brien: "Just hang in there a few more minutes... the whole station came grinding to a stop after we got a paper jam in tray 3!"

Rom: "GO NINJA, GO NINJA, GO!"

 

[Jonas Grumby]

Rom (singing): "I'm a ninja! I'm a horny ninja!"
Pianist (abruptly stops playing): "Uh...I'm pretty sure that's supposed to be 'I'm a hoodie ninja.'"