DS9 Caption Contest #27: Everything is under control

[LeadHead]

Good evening ladies and gents, if you were waiting for me to post this contest after seeing the TNG one go up, I apologize, I had to go watch the Oakland A's get beaten by the Seattle Mariners.

Anyhoo, time for happier things like what Vreenak has to say...

Leading off, we have the "Monk" award goes to:

"You're right! If I squint, you DO look like Tony Shaloub!"

Next, the "Getting more than you bargained for" Award goes to:

DAX: Yes. Klingon mating is not for the squeamish.

Next, the "Sad, but true, I think." Award goes to:

Bashir: UH--there we go. Frankly, Worf, you're pretty bent out of shape after that. You miss the other show, yet?

Worf: NO!

Bashir: No?

Worf: On the other show, I never won a fight. Here, I never lose. Better average.

Bashir: Right....

Next, the "LeadHead thanks you for saying that" Award goes to:

Sisko: And then we'll serve her the beets.
Jake: Again with the beets. Enough with the beets.

Next, the "That's bad news, and how did a warp core get on a Space Station?" Award goes to:

O'brien: O'brien to Sisko; You know that warp core breach that that we had five minutes and thirty seconds to contain? Well it's more like zero minutes and zero seconds..."

Ten minutes into the lecture, Jake couldn't figure out how to tell his dad what when he and Nog were talking about getting a "home run" with the Bajoran girls, they weren't talking baseball...

And now, a brand new contest!

Off we go!

 

[LeadHead]

Scorpion: GET OVER HERE!

Worf: We shall stalk our prey, it will be a glorious hunt!

Dax: Only you could make trying to exterminate Cardassian Voles into anything but an annoying chore.

Sisko: I'm sorry Major, your team has been eliminated from March Madness. Mister Worf.

Kira: Hey, wait!

One of Garaks Customers was unhappy at their waist size being posted on the stations monitors.

Sisko: What is it?

Bashir: A new life form! We found it in Jadzias refrigerator, it used to be Meatloaf.

 

[T'Girl]

Major Kira would frequently get the drop on her enemies, using her "Cleavage Cannon."

Bashir: What is it?

Sisko: It called jambalaya, one of my father's favorite recipes, but not supposed to be blue.

 

[Admiral Shran]

Thanks for the win.

Dax: He's definitely up there. Why are we tracking him again?

Worf: That little Ferengi toad was bragging to everyone in the bar about how I once allowed the Enterprise to be commandeered by his people after they stole a couple of Klingon warships.

The Reckoning: Round Two.

Cardassian Customer: I said NO starch in the collar!

Sisko: This doesn't look like a normal Trill symbiont.

Bashir: Well, according to the records it is. It's name is Odan.

 

[AdmiralGarak]

O'Brien: (Comm) "How's that, sir?"
Sisko: "No good. He materialized inside the door. Chief, we're running out of crewmen. How about testing your transporter repairs on something inanimate?"
O'Brien: (Comm) "Sure thing, sir. Worf, Captain says your next!"

The April Fools prankster would be found, and he would regret replacing all of Worf's Klingon operas with "It's Raining Men".

Never bet Odo that he can't morph into a stun beam.

It's so embarrassing when you need somebody to help you neck trick.

Bashir: "I'm sorry sir. That's all that's left of him."
Sisko: "Oh for... That's the fourth one this week! Sisko to Ops. Contact the Dominion and have them send another Weyoun. Better yet, order up a six pack of him."

 

[The Laughing Vulcan]

Dukat os: "Is that a phaser in your bra, Nerys, or are you just happy to see me?"

zap... thud!

Kira: "Oops, had the silly thing set to stun."

 

[Jonas Grumby]

Sisko: "What is it?"
Bashir: "A Denebian slime devil brain."
Dax: "What are you going to do with it?"
Bashir: "I have no idea."
Sisko: "How much did you pay for it?"
Bashir: "Way too much."
*pause*
Sisko: "No more auctions for you."

 

[Captain Crow]

Kira: I hate childish morons with laser pointers.

Sisko: So... this is DS9's aquarium?

 

[JarodRussell]

And the Robau saw that it was good.

 

[Jonas Grumby]

Kira: "Impressive marksmanship, I admit. But pulling my zipper down with your teeth would be more romantic and also wouldn't make me nearly so nervous."

 

[UssGlenn]

Garak: "I'm a zit, get it?"

 

[Vulpes]

Thank you, thank you.

"Tickle tickle tickle!"

Worf: Get the ladder and I'll scrape it off. Why were you making pancakes in here anyway?

Jake immediately put his new handheld tractor beam to good use.

Garak tries to bring popped collars back to Deep Space 9.

"I knew we would find a use for the giant novelty petri dishes."

 

[Nerys Myk]

ROM: Brother, your clothes disintegration ray isnt working. We'd better run before she....brother? Quark?

 

[Nerys Myk]

.

SISKO: What exactly are we bobbing for?

 

[Smellincoffee]

Sisko: Raspberry Jello? A state of the art medical facility and you use it to take make RASPBERRY JELLO? I'm putting both of you on report.
...I wanted strawberry. Or lime.

Garak: You mean you didn't want the back of this dress to be sheer?

 

[Mistral]

Kira: I hate childish morons with laser pointers.

Bashir(OS)- "Sorry."

 

[Supernuke]

Thanks for the win, LeadHead!

Dukat: Garak, I could kill you right now!!!

Garak:...

Dukat: But if I did that who would make my stylish Cardassian armor? I heard a new shade of metallic is coming in soon! That should liven things up a bit, eh?

 

[NX-01]

Sisko - Damn it I leave the station for one day and this is what I come back to! I told Dax NO parties!!

Quark (OS) - Who needs rohypnol when a phaser set to stun does the trick just as well?
Kira - I'll get you for this....

Garak - I think the are over reacting....you were just as ugly before you put thast sweater on!

 

[Jonas Grumby]

Teen Kira (stamping foot and whining): "Mother! Fusing my zippers shut before I go out on a date just makes me think you don't trust me!"

 

[Schistocerca]

Garak: Doctor Bashir please excuse me but I need to go home and put on a coat. It is so cold on the promenade deck that my testicles have ended up here!