DS9 Caption Contest #26: Look Closely...

[Nerys Myk]

O'Brien: ''Commander, a huge lens flare is forming here! A rift in time is opening! I'm also reading that some parts of the station are morphing to industrial look...''
Sisko: ''No! Not that timeline! I will not allow this space station to run on beer tanks! Prevent it with your very life, and beyond!''

O'Brien: "Sorry, I missed everything after "beer".

 

[T'Girl]

Ben: But most importantly, use protection! Although Doctor Bashir can cure most STD's, there's still NRS and UBT to worry about. And let's not forget pregnency, one of the most serious consequences of all!

Ben (continuing): ...why, if I had only used protection when I had "Sex on the Beach" with your mother only minutes after first meeting her ...

Jake: DAD !!!!

 

[Nerys Ghemor]

Oh, man...I can actually imagine (off camera) Ben using a line like that to embarrass his son!

 

[LeadHead]

Sisko: So there I was, bottom of the ninth, 2 outs, bases loaded, down by 3 and here comes the pitch...

Jake: I remember that, I threw a fastball and it went right past you.

 

[Rush Limborg]

Thanks for the win!

Martok: Well, it's a long story. Suffice it to say "Sleeping with one eye open" isn't all it's cracked up to be, if you know what I mean....

Kira: LOOK--there he is!

Jadzia: Ah...that's him?

Kira: Yes! Isn't he just a dream...?

Jadzia: (sigh) I will never understand Justin Beiber fans....

Bashir: UH--there we go. Frankly, Worf, you're pretty bent out of shape after that. You miss the other show, yet?

Worf: NO!

Bashir: No?

Worf: On the other show, I never won a fight. Here, I never lose. Better average.

Bashir: Right....

Ben: Now, the key to Cajun food, as opposed to Creole food, is simply--

Jake: Uh, dad? I'm a reporter, not a chef.

Ben: Oh, come on, Jake. You can have FNS put this in the "Cuisine" section. It'll be a hit!

Jake: "Cuisine section"?!? What do you think we are--The New York Times?

For St. Patrick's Day, the operations crew decided to give Chief O'Brien a real blast....

 

[Deranged Nasat]

Martok: "And so then I said to him, "meddle with my bloodwine, will you? I'll help you make your own!" You see I stabbed him through the stomach: believe me, plenty of blood and whining followed! Ha ha, I kill. No seriously, that's why I'm on detached leave at present, he died..."

Bashir: "Now, Worf, steady...let's not jump to conclusions. The most likely cause is simply the trauma your body's been through lately"

Worf: "It's not me! I know it's him!"

Bashir: "There's no proof of that"

Worf: "Every time the farting noise is heard, the Breen is suspiciously facing the wall, slouching nonchalantly. There it is again!"

*Breen makes deliberate farting noise, everyone looks at Worf*

Ben Sisko: "And when Nog asks you for a deal, you screw up your face like this while making this gesture with your hands. Then, in a strong Italian accent, you give him a firm, respectful and meaured but vaguely threatening answer. The word "respect" should be used. Oh, and if you want to call yourself "Don Sisko", do so..."

 

[Smellincoffee]

Martok: O'BRIEN! Son of...
Miles: Edward.
Martok: O'Brien, son of Edward! I challenge you to a contest of honor! It is time for us to settle the age-old question. Who can drink the other under a table, an Irishman or a Klingon?

Kira: Did YOU know Garak was that flexible? What is he DOING to Julian?
Dax: I think it's called the Cardassian neck trick...

 

[Gil T.Azell]

Martok: "That thing your wife does with her tongue amazing!!, she must teach mine."

 

[UssGlenn]

Kira didn't react well to Dax's new emo hairstyle.

 

[Vulpes]

"You're right! If I squint, you DO look like Tony Shaloub!"

Kira: He's looking this way! Do you think he heard us?
Jadzia: Quiet! Do you want to be "it"!?

Bashir: "Worf! Let me see you! Look at how you've grown!"

Ben: You see that, Jake? That's craftsmanship! It took me 20 years to learn that! That, my son, is how you roll a joint!

"It's nice to see you again, Captain Picard, but I think you're overdoing the head wax."

 

[Bob Karo]

Fans were disappointed that the "Kira and Dax go camping" episode didn't end up being a live action slash fic.

 

[Schistocerca]

Kira from behind a bush: I nearly didn't make it! Why didn't you pull over at that gas station like I asked you to?
Dax: Look next time just make sure you go before we set off, ok!

 

[LeadHead]

Worf: Stop. Only Jadzia is allowed to touch me there.

Sisko: So then, we peeled it away and some tears came to my eyes at the beauty...

Jake: Dad, you do know I can't stand onions right?

 

[Supernuke]

O'brien: O'brien to Sisko; You know that warp core breach that that we had five minutes and thirty seconds to contain? Well it's more like zero minutes and zero seconds..."

 

[Schistocerca]

In the final season of DS9, Colm Meaney managed to get a rider in his contract that he would always be lit from the left.

 

[Isis]

Sisko: "Nothing compares with original poetry, written especially for her."

Jake: "Dad, I want her to like me, not be nauseous at the sight of me."

 

[Isis]

Jadzia: "Would you shut your trap? This is the fourth movie you've ruined this month."

O'Brien: "Ya think I finally have the hang of this tanning bed? I really need to start bringing in some extra money ASAP."

 

[LeadHead]

All done here, please proceed to the designated docking port to board the next contest.