DS9 Caption Contest #14: Now in Standard Definition!

[LeadHead]

We've issued all the reprimands for all of the hijinks so now we can move on. This contest will go through the weekend of the 23rd.

Come down to Quarks and have a spin at the Dabo Wheel, time for some winners!

First up, for turning the tables on Sisko, our winner is:

Sisko: "... and another thing. I have never seen such immature behaviour from so called, seasoned Starfleet personnel as that which you displayed yesterday..."

O'Brien: "You want to tell him that he's the one in the brig and not us."
Bashir: "He'll figure it out eventually."
Worf: "The time period for the sweepstake has lapsed. None of us won. It lacks honour not to tell him..."

Next: For taking the lords name in vain and identifying him in the same entry, our winner is:

Kira: "Jesus Christ, Quark!"

Quark: "Wow, you are good at charades."

Next: There are reasons you don't want The Sisko to be your primary care physician, this is one. Our winner is:

Sisko: Now cough bitch!

Next, for showing that humans really are at a disadvantage in schoolyard games in the future, our winner is:

Jem'Hadar: "Tag. You are it. Again."
O'Brien: "You can turn invisible, and nobody's even seen Odo since he hid this morning. This isn't fair at all. I wanna play Parcheesi."
O'Brien's chair: "Harummph. Sore loser."

Since this pic has been somehow manipulated and I've been itching for a Photoshop winner for awhile and For knowing that the Cockpit is the little room at the front of the plane where the pilot sits, but that's not important right now. Our winner is:

Sisko: "Sneaking into the Klingon Empire will be tricky. It's an entirely different kind of mission altogether.

Worf, Bashir and O'Brien [together]: "It's an entirely different kind of mission."

.

And the Series and Universe Crossover award goes to:

BLUE ALIEN: "Nothing...you can do...to me...will make me...talk..."

[later]

MIRROR SISKO: "Hi."
BLUE ALIEN: [wets self]

Congrats to all of our winners!

Let's go for our next round:

Go go go!

 

[LeadHead]

Quark: Welcome to Klingons night!

Worf: All Right, Klingons drink free!

Quark: Half Priced Bloodwine! Double priced Prune Juice!

Worf: Aw Crap.

O'Brien: Caught ya!

Kira: Hey, it was your night to cook. I came here and got something else to protect your baby.

Sisko: Congratulations Julian. With your new Genetically enhanced storyline, you've become more popular than The Doctor.

Bashir: Great, annoying bald pain in the... he's behind me isn't he?

Odo: I don't know what's wrong.

Bashir: I do, you took the bucket with you after regenerating this morning.

O'Brien: Why couldn't you carry the baby to term again?

Keiko: I was scared Worf would be my midwife again.

 

[Smellincoffee]

O'Brien: For the last time, Major, if you don't have enough money for a tip, you don't have enough money to eat out.

Dr. Zimmerman loved to give a good goose.

Bashir: You've developed 'dancer's hips', constable.
Odo: But I don't..
Bashir: You can admit it here, Odo. This is a safe place.

O'Brian: Isn't that Kirayoshi's new rattle?

 

[AdmiralGarak]

Worst. Ventriloquist act. Ever.

Bashir: "My scans indicate that you've had a stick shoved up there for six seasons. I'm afraid that the only way to loosen it now is to do a goofball romantic episode where a holographic ladies man teaches you how to love."
Odo: "Dear god, no..."

 

[Quo Vadimus]

Quark: What do you mean the Flag is upside-down?

 

[Nerys Myk]

QUARK: I for one welcome our new Klingon overlords.

 

[Jonas Grumby]

O'Brien: "I'd say...three...maybe three and a half credits. It'd be worth more if it still had the ball and string attached."

 

[Rush Limborg]

Quark: FRIEND KLINGONS!!! First off, I thank you all for coming here, for the Day of Kahless.

All Klingons attendees in unison: YEAH!!! (thunderous applause and roars of approval)

Quark: On behalf of my staff I say: WELCOME TO QUARK'S, and THANK YOU for chosing this establishment! Now, let me say next--

Klingon attendee 1: Hey, FERENGI--SHUT UP AND LET US GET ON WITH THE DAY!

Quark: Well, I'd love to! But first, I need to get my money's worth. You all understand, right?

All Klingons attendees in unison: NO!!!

Quark: Now, let me say that I'd like to thank my staff for making such EXCELLENT cuisine for this event--

Klingon attendee 2: GET ON WITH THE CEREMONY! You're holding it up!

Quark: But if you bear with me for a moment--

Klingon attendee 3: Ferengi, GET OFF THE STAGE, before we KILL YOU!

Quark: But I'm just saying--

Klingon attendee 4: Yes! KILL THE FERENGI!

Quark: But--look--

All Klingons attendees in unison: KILL THE FERENGI!!!

Quark: Uh...oh....

Bashir: Goodness! Odo...are you drunk?

Odo: Yes. I most certainly am..."drunk"...Doctor. And I will remain "drunk"...until that confounded Ferengi is behind a force field!

Bashir: That bad?

Odo: And when he is...I swear he will NEVER get out!

Bashir: Uh, Odo...

Odo: WHAT?

Bashir: If you're drunk...how will he ever get arrested?

Odo: Watch me!

Bashir: Odo...as your doctor--

Odo: I will KILL HIM!

Bashir: As your friend--

Odo: I will! I'll do it! I'll...

(Odo topples over, and "regenerates" in liquid state)

Bashir: And I didn't know changelings could become drunk....

 

[Nerys Myk]

OBRIEN: Its Potatos and Whiskey. I was raised on the stuff.

BASHIR: He followed me home. Can I keep him?

BASHIR: Amazing. Its a groin pull.

ODO: I dont have a groin.

BASHIR: Thats why its amazing.

KEIKO: Its like our wedding night all over again!

OBRIEN: How?

KEIKO: You keep finishing early!!!!

 

[Captain Crow]

Thanks for the win DeadHead.

Bashir: How did you get burns on your buttocks like that?

Odo: Let's just say I won't be morphing into a lampshade again.

Dr. Zimmerman: Ah. Here's the problem. He's got a pole stuck up his ass.

Odo: My ass is like a Play-Doh Fun Factory.

Bashir: I didn't know Changelings could get diarrhea.

Odo: Neither did I.

 

[DS9 Gal AZ]

Bashir: "My scans indicate that you've had a stick shoved up there for six seasons. I'm afraid that the only way to loosen it now is to do a goofball romantic episode where a holographic ladies man teaches you how to love."
Odo: "Dear god, no..."

Dude, this one HAS to win. Seriously, nothing can top it!

 

[DS9 Gal AZ]

Sisko: I don't want to know what he's doing back there, do I?
Bashir: No sir, you don't. Suffice it to say, Garak would be quite jealous...

You know Keiko, when you said you wanted to make beautiful music together, this isn't exactly what I had in mind....

 

[Isis]

It was no surprise that several members of the Intergalactic Fashion Police were permanently assigned to Ferenginar.

O'Brien: "Hey, stop eating Molly's science project!"

The 24th Century remake of "Twins," (which had originally starred Schwarzenegger and DeVito) was not well received.

Bashir: "Odo, you can stop complaining about the wait for a table at Colonoscopies-Are-Us. The buzzer finally went off."

O'Brien: "Keiko, that's not the way you hold a plunger. Maybe I should call a real plumber."

 

[Yeoman Randi]

Kira: Best.coke.ever. *ssssssnnnnnnnnoooooorrrrrrt!*

 

[LeadHead]

O'Brien: Okay, we wanted you to stay with us while you were carrying the baby. But he's been born now. It's time for you to move out!

 

[T'Girl]

Miles: " ... so I've looked all over the station, I just can't seem to find that stool sample."

 

[Captain Crow]

[flag unfurls]

Quark: Happy Kahless Day everyone!

Guy, offscreen: That's not the right flag for Kahless Day.

Quark: It's not?

Guy, offscreen: Nope. That's the flag for Klingon Gay Pride Day.

 

[Mistral]

Quark: "Hot damn! The dabo girls are getting naked!"

 

[Mistral]

O'Brien : "Yes, you got it. So, who's the other girl gonna be?"

 

[Mistral]

Sisko: "Julian, do you realize what that man is doing to you?"

Bashir : "*grunt* What man, sir?"