DS9 Caption Contest 121: THOSE MEDDLING KIDS!

[Smellincoffee]

Where's Chief O'Brien when you need him? I'm more or less back online, and at long last -- WINNERS!

Kira: Best cup of coffee every. I'm just sorry I spilled some.

Kira: You all saw it! He was going for a gun!
O'Brien: Major, that's a tree.

Jadzia, in the Dax mind: Calm down, Ezri. Firm grip, keep your body stable, and finger off the trigger until you get the order.
Ezri, in the Dax mind:I know what I'm doing. I fired a phaser rifle in basic.
Jadzia, in the Dax mind:You wouldn't know it from your nerves.
Curzon, in the Dax mind: She's a little girl, a pretty little girl.
Jadzia, in the Dax mind:Can you stop hitting on your hosts? It's ... creepy.
Torias, in the Dax mind:Life's too short, Jadzia, to worry about these social conventions.
Ezri, in the Dax mind:Stop it, all of you. I need to concentrate.
Joran, in the Dax mind:That's right. Focus. Think everything through. How to kill a man. How you will watch his life drain from his eyes.
Ezri, in the Dax mind: I'm an officer, not a murderer.
Joran,in the Dax mind: Little difference.
Tobin, in the Dax mind: It would be better if you just run away.
Ezri, in the Dax mind:I have a duty.
Torias, in the Dax mind:And you could be a hero.
Ezri, in the Dax mind:You aren't helping
Bashir: Is something wrong, Ezri?
Ezri, shouting out loud: Shut up, Torias. It's your fault I can't be with Lenara. I mean Jadzia. I mean .... uh!
Bashir: What?
Joran, in the Dax mind:Smooth move.
Jadzia, in the Dax mind: That reminds me. I need you to sneak into Worf's quarters and destroy the letters I wrote to Lenara Kahn that I never sent.
Curzon, in the Dax mind:Or you could send them. I wouldn't mind seeing what happens.
Audrid, in the Dax mind:You are a dirty old man. You know that Curzon tried to bed me at his zhiantara?
Curzon, in the Dax mind: It isn't too late.
Ezri, in the Dax mind:Shut up, shut up, shut up!
Soldier: The Jem'hadar are a kilometer away.
Joran, in the Dax mind: When the fighting starts, no one will know who shoots whom. Just turn your phaser ...
Bashir: How about we go on a date when we get back to the station?
Joran, in the Dax mind:Maybe you could start with the doctor?
Ezri: Julian, now is not a good time.

Jadzia: I hope you're not holding back because I'm a woman.
Worf: I'm holding back because holosuite safety protocols NEVER WORK.

Helm: Commander, I'd just like to point out what a Trill it is to serve under your command.
(long pause)
Jadzia: Court-martial in 5...4...3...

Kira: "Wait, I get to rip my shirt like Kirk, but I don't get to have the girl like Kirk?"
Director (just off screen): "Ah, that would be the man. And no."
Kira: "Yeah, man. That's what I meant....."

And now, this week's theme, with everyone's favorite brat pack:

 

[JirinPanthosa]

JAKE: That's a picture of the TOWN SQUARE on Ferenginar?
NOG: All the women are naked. Allll of them.

NOG: That's right Chief. All the women.
O'BRIEN: Keiko! We're moving.

JAKE: Eww, you're drinking root beer?
NOG: I'm not a fan of it. But I have to fit in with the humans.
JAKE: Humans don't drink root beer! It was invented on Earth but very few people actually like it.
NOG: Really? Oh, eww then.

WEYOUN: Oh, come on Jake. Every time it's like this, I have to remind you that I recruited you as a agent.
JAKE: Okay, Sloane? You're reaaallly reaching here.

What? I needed a chair. So I hired your son for two slips of latinum. I don't see a problem here.

 

[Triskelion]

T4TW Smellincoffee!

Nog: So how are these velcro boot fasteners supposed to work?
Jake: I don't know, we've outgrown the need for velcro in the Federation.
Nog: Maybe I'll go find a Pakled.

http://www.trekbbs.com//www.pinterest.com/pin/create/extension/

 

[hux]

Jake: Check this out Nog.

Nog: Hurrrrg!!... Couldn't it wait until I finished on the toilet.

Director: And remember, don't look directly into the camera... Action.

Nog: Human drinks suck.

Jake: This coming from the people who invented Slug-O-Cola.

Weyoun: I don't care his much you hate it, we're all going to watch this laser disc of Eat, Pray Love. There's popcorn in the chest.

Nog: It's not what it looks like.

Jake: I concur.

 

[Smellincoffee]

Jake: Why are you drinking that stuff?
Nog: My uncle insists on carding me if I ask for an actual drink.
Jake: Obnoxious, sure. But what's the problem?
Nog: Do you see anywhere on this uniform to put a card, Jake?!

Sisko: Why is there a dent in the port side, Chief?
O'Brien, staring at the boys: Space debris, I'm afraid.
Sisko: Ah. Carry on.
O'Brien: All right, boys. You carry my tools for the next month and I don't tell the captain you put a dent in his brand-new runabout by BACKING IT UP THE WRONG WAY.
..what did you hit, anyway?
Jake: ..another runabout.
O'Brien: Son of a -

 

[LeadHead]

Thanks for the win!

Jake: What are those?
Nog: Something from your own world, ants!
Everyone else on DS9: Arrest him, Odo!

Sisko: (over comm) Sisko to O'Brien. How's the flight test going?

O'Brien: Fantastic, so far you owe me a bottle of 30 year old Scotch to pass him.

Nog: You know, if the Dominion take this station, you should just stay and be a war reporter.
Jake: No way!

Weyoun: A Baseball card from the Oakland A's 2015 season? Why would anyone save this?

LeadHead cries.

Nog: What? My best choice for defeating him was to trip him!

 

[Nerys Myk]

NOG: The uniform, Jake. Chicks dig the uniform.

JAKE: So where are these chicks?

NOGS: Turns out they don't dig being called "chicks".

 

[Triskelion]

Jake: Mirrors on the shoes! Now all we need to do is find some old Bajoran clerics, since they are the only ones who don't wear leisure suits in this century.

O'Brien: Notice how Jake's posture is straight and not worn down from a lifetime fending off harpies, while Nog's posture is awkward, repellent to women, and adds undue pressure along the spinal column, stunting growth and confidence well into chronological maturity. Don't let motherhood happen to you.
Nog: Who you talking to, Chief?
Jake: Wait...what?

Jake: Pit woofies? The hell are you talking about??

Weyoun: Yes, we're a boy band called the Soulless Minions of Orthodoxy. Why, have you heard of us?
First: I am the cute one!
Second: I AM THE CUTE ONE! YOU ARE THE HEARTTHROB!

Nog: I am the first Ferengi in Starfleet!
Jake: I am the first human potato peeler!
Benjamin: I told Pop we shoulda ventilated the gas stove.


http://www.trekbbs.com//www.pinterest.com/pin/create/extension/

 

[Hutchy01]

Jake: How you doin'?

 

[Triskelion]

Nog: Simon Twister is too a thing!

 

[Hutchy01]

Rule 34 on DS9.

 

[Bad Thoughts]

Aron Eisenberg: Hey, Ira, look who I caught sneaking onto the set!?
Ira Steven Behr: Cirroc, we told you: you get the last, tearful godbye to your dad as we pull away from the station. Other than that, we don't need you. So go home, collect your check, and catch up on the X-Files.
Cirroc Lofton: Come on, Ira, my name is in the opening credits.
Rick Berman: Don't make me sic the Vidians on Jake's ass.
Behr: That's Voyager.
Berman: OK, the Pakleds.
Behr: That's ... ok, we'll go with that. (Aside) Does Rick even watch what he produces?

 

[Nerys Myk]

SHAGGY: I-I don't think those are masks, Scoob!

SCOOBY: Rut-Ro!

 

[tharpdevenport]

Nog: "OOOHHHH, you meant scat as in 'get out of here'; I thought you meant..."

 

[Smellincoffee]

Jake: Did you convince your uncle to put in the jukebox?
Nog: Yep.
Jake: Was that just so you could play "I'll Just Sit Here and Drink" over and over?
Nog: Yep.
Jake: Dude, it's over, she's gone.

Jake: It's just a clock!
Weyoun: It's making ominous tick, tick noises! How can you explain that?
Jake and Nog: IT'S A CLOCK!

 

[T'Girl]

Jake: "What's that?"
Nog: "It's a coca~cola, in the original form."
Jake: "What make's it original?"
Nog: "Cocaine."

T

 

[Smellincoffee]

26 hour warning! I have a wedding on Saturday (not mine) and a movie night on Sunday (Planet of the Apes marathon, woo), so this one's wrapping up early.

 

[T'Girl]

I have a wedding on Saturday (not mine)

Why not yours? Sound like someone need to get off their ass.

Don't make us call your mother.

 

[Hutchy01]

(Planet of the Apes marathon, woo).

Does it include the new ones?

 

[Smellincoffee]

I have a wedding on Saturday (not mine)

Why not yours? Sound like someone need to get off their ass.

Don't make us call your mother.

I've tried, but apparently smacking a girl on the head with a club and dragging her into your cave is all kinds of illegal these days, especially if the cave is a "World Heritage Site" and a "National Park".

(Planet of the Apes marathon, woo).

Does it include the new ones?

Nah, we've seen those before. This will be the first few sequels to the original.